"To meet, to know, to love, and then to part is the sad tale of many human hearts..."

I saw him...up close this time. he passed by where I was talking to someone...and as usual I just looked at him..this time steadily holding his gaze..he had that smirk on his face...a hurting smirk that means....oooohhhhh...i do not know what it means anymore...but that's what it looked like to me...after today...that's the last time I'll be seeing him...my last mind pic of him....


para akong basang sisiw...wandering...with no place to go

"If you have the courage to love, you have the courage to suffer."

how unnerving! to think the amount of time you spent with someone and only to realize that the person who you though he was wasn't the real him...how unnerving to give your heart and soul to someone...only to find out that they didn't do the same...how unnerving to think that you loved someone more than you loved yourself and only to find out that...they didn't know the real meaning of love....

"Desperately Wanting"

Past the road to your house
That you never called home
Where they turned out your lights
Though they say you'll never know

I remember running through the wet grass
And failing a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting

When they pumped out your guts
And filled you full of those pills
You were never quite right
Deserving all the chills
They say the worst is over
Kicked it over and ran
Then they ask what went wrong
When they turn you on again
They turn you on again.

[Chorus:]
Kick them right in the face
Make them wish they weren't born
And if they bring up your name
Well they'll say you won the war.
Baby burst in the world
Never given a chance
Then they ask what went wrong
When you never had it right

Oh the letters have dropped off
Though they say you got them all
I finally figured out some things you'll never know.
Take back your life and let me inside
We'll find the door if you care to anymore.

I remember running through the wet grass
and falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately Wanting.


Below is one of my fave singers. forgot to post it together w the song's lyrics yesterday. self portrait of Joni Mitchell

Went to my second CLP "seminar" (if that's what you call it) last night..we had different household from the group I was with last week only 5 of us attended kagabi. Even our household leaders weren't there...sus! It was an okay meeting. Had more fun with the group from last week's meeting. Anyway highway...konti lang yung tao and as usual my radar didn't pick up any cute guys...


My horoscope says:

If you're smart -- and your sign has never been known for anything less -- you'll make plans to spend a few hours this evening with someone who's worthy of your wit, intelligence and elegant company.

---> I'm smart daw...someone worthy...hhmmmmm where are you? where you? come out come out wherever you are!!!

Last song syndrome......

Both Sides Now
(JONI MITCHELL)

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love
Really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads
And they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life
I really don't know life at all


I wasn't sure if I already did post this...but I'm gonna post it anyway ....

".....You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:
If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime......"

"When I lost you, I was the one who loved you
most, but between us you lost more. For someday I
can love someone the way that I loved you but you
will never be loved again the way that I did."


...so to you....it wasn't my loss but yours...one thing that I take pride, when it comes into relationships, is that all of my ex-boyfriends (seryoso or not, made gago or not) they all wanted to come back...gets? labo. all of my ex-es especially the first guy who made me cry, all of them courted me again and wanted to get back with me. I don't know why. But I guess there really is something in me that they could not see with the other girls they went out with or with th girl(s) na pinagpalit na ko for...I dunno what the future holds for me and him...but....right now...I have to learn how to let go first...to forget him TOTALLY...piece of cake! NOT! how do you let go of someone you loved for the longest time? someone you gave your heart and soul to...someone you planned how many kids and where you were gonna live with? someone your heart told you is the person you wanted to be with the rest of your life...how do you let go...how....

Smile though your heart is breaking - Charlie Chaplin

I was browsing thru some of my old books last night when I found one of my fave books which is actualy a compilation of Pablo Neruda's poems...I so love this poem!!! IF i do get married this poem will be a part of the wedding chorva....the highlighted part is the part where I imagine myself placing my hand and my head on his chest as if saying...I've finally found my true north...my shore where I can rest my weary heart...my soft and easy chair...and until this very day carry a small copy of this poem in my wallet..I read it everty time I'm in my "hopeless romantic" moods...

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly;
without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where "I" does not exist, nor "you,"
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.



In The Last 48 Hours, Have You:
01. Cried: yes yes yes
02. Bought something: food
03. Gotten sick: yes
04. Sang: yes
06. Been kissed: no :(
07. Felt stupid: yes yes yes
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but
didn't: yes
09. Met someone new: no
10. Talk to an ex: no
11. Missed an ex: yes
12. Talked to someone you have a crush on: no
13. Had a serious talk: yes
14. Missed someone: yes
15. Fought with your parents: no (imma better
daughter now)
16. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: yes

Personal:
01. Who is your role model: my mom
02. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex:
yes!
03. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because
they hurt you: YES!
04. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup":
relationship
05. Do you want kids: yes..i luurrrvvvvv kids!
06. Do you believe you know the person whom you
will marry at this point in time: i dunno..ask my
broken heart..

07. Are you happy with your life? NO!NO! NO!

[ Current Mood ]: sad melancholic depressed
[ Current Taste ]: bitter
[ Current Annoyance ]: si kups
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ]: nothing
[ Current Favorite Artist ]: vienna teng
[ Current Refreshment ]: coke mango juice coke mango juice


Got the song below from a 13 y/o's blog...

I've been trying to let him go since the time he broke up with me...but why until this very day am I still hoping and hanging on...why until now do i still love him..why I still include him and my prayers...when will I ever be able to let him go and put a period on what we had......

I can still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you loved me
Made me feel oh so right
But now I feel lost, don't know what to do
Each and every day I think of you
Holdin' back the tears, I'm trying with all my might

Because you've gone and left me standing All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow On my own....
But baby....

Before I let you go
I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listenin'
'Coz it's true,baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah
So before I let you go
I want to say it.....
I love you

I wish that it could be just like before
I know I could've given you so much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and every day I reminisce
'Coz baby it's you
That I'm always dreaming of...

Letting love go is never easy
But I love you so
That's why I set you free And I know
Someday
Somehow
I'll find a way To leave it all behind me
Guess it wasn't meant to be But baby.........

So before I let you go I want to say.......it I love you...




something funny :)

sabe sa Humans For sale

You are worth exactly: $1,160,330.00.

We hope you can find somebody who is wealthy enough to afford you.

Any takers???? Mabait ako at masayahin...at marunong mag behave kung kailangan...marunong din ako humirit ng tama :)

Myles sent this via e-mail (the part below the No One Else) and Jon responded with this:

This is where Family and True Friends come in! No matter how many people you meet or how many people come and go into our lives...you will always your family and true friends to come home to anytime and anywhere you need them! So, stop looking and make them most of what you have!

Any significant other shouldnt be the air your breathe! There' more to a girlfriend or boyfriend..there's more to life!! Naks!!!

No one else
By Mark J. Macapagal

I was talking to a friend of mine and she was ruing the fact that it seemed like no matter how much she went out, or how much fun she had, she would ultimately come home and there would be this sense of emptiness. As if she had just had another evening of fun but in the end, it was really rather meaningless.


Now I had been going through something similar. As some of you readers may know, I've spent the past half year or so in the rebuilding of my life, which naturally includes dating a number of women. All of this has been going well. I have great friends, met some great women, but after all was said and done, I had that same feeling of emptiness.

:::Sana I had some of these lines memorized nung nakipag blind date ako:::

Classy things to say when stressed

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"

2.. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"

3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"

4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up."

5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"

8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting."

9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left."

10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me."

11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"

12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose."

13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control."

14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."

15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"

16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."

19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't gone to sleep yet."

22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."

27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."

29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."

30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

32. "Earth is full. Go home."

33. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."

37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."

Which poem are you? The Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath To you, love is desperate and hateful. You're wildly passionate and wildly inventive. You're also likely to start stalking people.

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Which Rugrat are you Chuckie fearful

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Which SpongeBob SquarePants character are you? Squidward Your very mean. You hate everyone. You suck at playing the clarinet, painting, making sculptures and everything else artistic.

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Which LOTR elf are you? Galadriel Wise and beautiful. Many fall in love with you, but you merely chuckle at them.

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Which Drug Addict Are You? The Enhancement Smoker You're straight out of the movie Half Baked. You think smoking certain herbs makes everything from movies to music even to sex just that much better.

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What soda are you? Coke You are just like everyone else. Not too original, but classic.

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someone told me that I shouldn't be hiding...that I shouldn't running away...that I should stay...that I should not (do it)...

If you lived here, you'd be home now....

Yesterday was a fairly good day for me...look ma, no tears! So I thank God for that and prayed that there'll be no more bad days for me. But alas, today, when i woke up...the same shit...same pain...same thoughts...So I turned to God again and prayd for Him to vanish all thoughts from my mind...please no more pain, Lord...when will all the pain vanish? When wll all the hurt fade away? When will all the suffering end? Why must I still be in love with a man--not he was not a man but a boy-a boy who broke my heart and trampled on it?

The Trouble Tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work & his electric drill quit, his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do at the little tree.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again." Funny thing is,"
he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."


You are... Grissom


Who Are You? (CSI Quiz - My Version)
brought to you by Quizilla

River of Tears!

It's three miles to the river
That would carry me away,
And two miles to the dusty street
That I saw you on today.

It's four miles to my lonely room
Where I will hide my face,
And about half a mile to the downtown bar
That I ran from in disgrace.

Lord, how long have I got to keep on running,
Seven hours, seven days or seven years?
All I know is, since you've been gone
I feel like I'm drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.
Drowning in a river.
Feel like I'm drowning,
Drowning in a river.

In three more days, I'll leave this town
And disappear without a trace.
A year from now, maybe settle down
Where no one knows my face.

I wish that I could hold you
One more time to ease the pain,
But my time's run out and I got to go,
Got to run away again.

Still I catch myself thinking,
One day I'll find my way back here.
You'll save me from drowning,
Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.
Drowning in a river.
Feels like I'm drowning,
Drowning in the river.
Lord, how long must this go on?

Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.