Sa wakas the stars pinned the dhon-keeee!

Here is your horoscopefor Wednesday, September 29:

If it smells good, feels good or makes you think that you'll look better wearing it, you'll gladly shell out lots of your hard-earned pesos to have it. Just don't deplete the bank account.

did some shopping today when I went to megamall. i was planning to buy some "important" stuff lang sana but at the end of the day I wasn't able to buy any of the items on my checklist. The only thing that I was able to cross out was the orientation that I went to which was for Hands on Manila...I get to start next week!!! yey! i get to teach kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Love isn’t fucked” she goes on, “It’s just the absence of it that is.”

I usually eat at some restaurant where you don't have to line up and where one can linger to sawa instead i went to Mcdonald's nalng. why? because I wanted to be anonymous...cue mysterious music here...in a restaurant you have to interact with the crew and sometimes with the other people eating in the same restaurant but in the land of sup-ah size me I can be as anonymous as an electric pole. I hate eating alone. may it be sa house or outside. even if i'm eating with someone tapos s/he finishes before I do, nawawalan agad ako ng gana. it's an automatic thing for me. For me it's lonely eating alone. You can't savor the food when you're eating alone because you're trying to eat as fast as you can to be to get out of that resto so you don't have to endure the kawawa-naman-sya-she's-eating-alone stares. I like the chitchats in between mouthfuls. I like the feel of being happy because you're getting stuffed. nothing beats kwentos over a good meal. yum!

GAZZZZZZIIILLLIIOOONNNN thoughts:

a lot of people reacted to my smiley question...sya daw si saddy si frowny at meron pang sumagot with all seriousness: "ang name ni smiley na sad is Mr. Sady Smiley. Smiley yung last name nya." Haaayyyy...***rolls eyes***

my reaction:


Sino sya? hint: hindi sya marunong mag scroll down :D

haven't been blogging religiously...that's how bored I am. Even if I have a lot of things to do sa office I still feel so bo-o-o-red! my mind doesn't function correctly na din...wait..kelan nga ba sya nag function ng tama...gr! (with 1 R)

i had a thought...in the office, I'm the one in charge of doing our sales thingie report and i always include a sales motivational quote in the end for more motivation chicka to...pero what if i, one time lang, put a love quote? What will our manager say?

love quotes/messages:

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u, would you ramdam the same?

" i miss you so much it hurts"

“I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

HaLa! Just a thought...a thought that I am seriously toying with...

told you i was bored...and abner too



it's 3am na and i'm still not asleep. how is that when my eyes were all red due to the constant yawning and i'm so sleepy rubbing my eyes thingie when I was at work and here I am at home still awake?

i'm trying to change my template but a quarter way to it I realize that that is so insane...i'm tamad. i don't wanna tire myself out. unfortunately, this is one of those things that my yaya can't do for me...mommy?

i'm going back to my usual self...due to my crummy rest days (wednesday and thursdy) the mall is the gimik place to be for me! Do i sense a hand forming the letter L there? But at least I get to watch old Sharon Movies in the afternoon...little joys

Later i'm going to this seminar with Hands on Manila. It's volunteer group. One things to do off my list. cchheeccckk!

At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). "Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"

sundays in Makati

i luurrrvvv Makati on sundays. less vehicles less people. sarap. peace and quiet. plus the fact that Makati has sidewalks!

"Everywhere I looked, people were standing in twos
-- it was like Noah's Upper West Side rent-controlled Ark."
(Carrie,SATC)

why is that people always think that you're with someone wherever you go? Go to a resto and the maitre'd wll ask you: Table for 2? Even the servings are good for 2 persons! pak the shet! I'm alone ohh--kkeeeyyyy!

question: pag sad na si smiley? ano na tawag sa kanya? seryosong tanong yan a! pramis!

7am! 7am! (#U$#U%%*#($#$@# punyeta! pwede ba kumuha nalang kayo ng basura at wag na kayong magbulabog ng mga taong gustong matulog pag umaga! fuck it. 10 minutes. pabagalan portion...o fine ayan malayo na..sleep ulet....9am...yaya wakes me up...ang aga naman ya! ...sabe mo 9am ka gisingin..a ganun ba..sige 5 minutes...ya, 5 minutes na ba yun...o fine gumising na at tumayo...kailangan pa natin makita si kraazziiee maglaro...late for the 10am bball game. OMG! si nick! my other crush...fuck...ay si krazzie naglalaro din pala..whatta morning!we won. what else is new..naks!yabang...o red box na...o last song nalang i'll go to work na...neeexxtt!...'Di ba sa simula sinabi mong walang matitiyak ....moon river wider than a mile i'm crossing you in style someday....May isang umagang `di mo hahagkan Ang mata kong `di ka magigisnan Turuan mong ako'y h'wag masaktan Kahit ako para sa `yo Ay `sang hiram At hindi dapat magdamdam....o what! ang squatter no? baket ba! hehehe...o basta next time pag wala akong pasok tara let's ulet!

bored...yes...definitely bored...yes...

o yeah one more kwento...this time its nakakaasar but you just hafta smile kwento...there's this girl who asked me the other day if i really could see or speak to "those we cannot see" (for more mysteriosu effect"...

me: huh? why'd you ask
girl: e kse..yada yada yada yada.....
me: uh...ok lang...
girl: di nga totoo?
me: (inside my mind) lord give me strength!
me: (talking to girl) and? what do you want me to do
girl: baka lang masabe mo sa akin kung bakit ganun
me: (inside my shrinking head) mukha ba ako si jojo acuin or rene mariano
me: (talking to girl) just dont mind it. im sure it nothin

today:
girl: (passed by my table) o mamaya a pag meron tawagin kita
me: ***fake smile*** (talking to my head) ANO BASH! hindi ako spirit questor! hindi ako si madam auring...fuck it....i see braindead people!

"How long must my patience be tested before it is rewarded."

The waiting game...

it is a bit tricky, my dears. you dont' not know if you are to sit or stand or to wait or to give it up or...but what are you to do...what are you to say...you are never given any choices that you can just pick like in a multiple choice test...it is, as always like a wrong minus right exam...you answer or you don't. The waiting game is not an exam or a test...it is not a game of monopoly where you can get a get out of jail card...sometimes, in life, there are no second chances...sometimes in life there are simply no right or wrong answers...sometimes in life there are no multiple choices...sometimes in life there are simply no turning the hands of the time back...sometimes A man does what he can until his destiny is revealed to him and you just have to rely on your self to make the best answer...

SMILE (Though Your Heart Is Breaking)

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

9 cigs and counting


how long must i wait
before the night ends
before the sun begins its ascent
illuminating a once darkened sky

tonight would be just one of those nights
the cigs and the blackened night would be your best friend
and no one else
....yes no one else my dear

and you are resigned to that fate
that you will be alone
that you will be unhappy
that you will be forever looking at the night sky
waiting for that elusive falling star
waiting for that sun to shine on your wet and cold face
but it will not come
it will not bless you with its warmth
it will leave you cold and stark naked and ripe for loneliness to embrace you
you are alone

and I am 10 cigs and counting....
adnileb

got this from Rocketboy:

Googlism for: belinda

belinda is back and having a ball
belinda is back page 1
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belinda is 0
belinda is the ninth of uranus' known satellites
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business along with her most successful year in competition
belinda is a senior at charles henderson high school and has been a "serious"
art student for five years
belinda is a 5x7ft shrub with large clusters of repeating hot pink flowers
that have a
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used by coaches worldwide
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belinda is a satellite of the planet uranus
belinda is marrier to the son of actor james mason? in fact
belinda is loud and uncouth
belinda is the story of an older man who falls in love with a sixteen year old actress
belinda is currently on leave to take care of shayna
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belinda is the ninth of uranus's known satellites
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belinda is maybe best known for her role as rebecca fisher/nash in home and away but she has
also done a lot of other things after she left the show in 1999
belinda is more familiar as an accomplished actress in 'home and away' and as a television
presenter for the hilarious 'all time greatest
belinda is a catgirl who likes to lose herself in the 80s; an era of pastel colors
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belinda is a love story but this one is different belinda is a 16 year old runaway and jeremy is
a 45 year old illustrator and writer of children?s books
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belinda is quick to point out that you must look at the
belinda is married to actor/producer morgan mason
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national multiple sclerosis society and teva marion partners
belinda is featured in the tools
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belinda is thrown into a state of confusion
belinda is an incredibly dedicated and tenacious person
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belinda is intrigued and
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belinda is historied and complicated
belinda is
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belinda is a doctor of clinical psychology working for the nhs
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belinda is working perfectly
belinda is now working on her 7th album
belinda is available
belinda is an actress of high calibre
belinda is just as she is on here
belinda is sent so
belinda is the first one to greet you as you walk into the district office
belinda is in year 10 and is 16 years old
belinda is a total professional
belinda is crooning to in the movie "swing shift"
belinda is a registered psychologist with a background in visual perception
and psychophysical measurement
belinda is a self
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belinda is one of a few australian women to be born with a rare form of muscular dystrophy
belinda is also the tourism officer for scone council and says the centre is now linked with
hunter regional tourism and
belinda is even more intelligent/?french than i thought
belinda is a regular
belinda is introduced in all of the lazy grandeur and ease associated with restoration court life
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belinda is involved in a very interesting program involving canine training
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belinda is interested in her first nations community and her surroundings
belinda is writing the questions for the quiz this time
belinda is busier than ever at the moment
belinda is an exceptional employee; always on the job
belinda is nicknamed bel

on our way home from Edwin's surprise birthday party in 9 pizza 7 chicken in Ortigas, we passed by a shop in Wilson selling christmas stuff na...Leo karla and I were all saying that the year has definitely gone by so fast...whooosshhh....swwwiissshhh......whooosshhh....swwwiissshhh......whooosshhh...swwwiissshhh......whooosshhh swwwiissshhh...(o tama na)...and i was just thinking a couple of days back that I don't even want christmas to come (no pun intended)...

"sometimes the worst thing for one's heart is loneliness." (ally Mcbeal)


"Its easy to stay happy in manila. Just lie to yourself all the time."

Dear Maria Belinda,
Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, September 19:

After all that drama, here's a day to bring you peace of mind, and the sureness that everything will work out exactly as it should. In other words, you're over it. Congrats.


Dear Maria Belinda,
Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, September 20:

You can forget about yesterday -- for now, anyway. The universe is seeing to it that everything is working out just fine. In the meantime, forget holding onto a grudge. Or anything else

~there you have it. the stars sez so...

today is the start of a 3day restday for me tuesday-thursday...so it'll be like i didn't go to work for this week...maybe I should do this often...i wish! i'm so tamad right now that all the things to do in my list have been all re-scheduled! blame it on the weather!

tonight I have a surprise party to go to...nice to be with my old friends again :)

it's a hot HOT day!

my mind was having an internal war. do i wake up now or later. 5 minutes. sleepy wins round 1. round 2 do i have to wake up now or can I just adjust my schedule instead so I can wake up later. sleepy does it again. round 3. you hafta wake up now or you won't be able to do anything at all. TING! wake-ity uppity side wins. argh!

M1 GB3:

auto doors open. first rack...cookie monster mode! 4 cds! wait i'm looking for something else...can i listen to this...fuck...can i buy all 5? you can't...control control...pak the shet!...dee-cisions! dee-cisions! dee-cisions!...bought 2 cds...take note of the others you didn't buy..i shall return for you my precioussss!



scene: Breton GB3

Breton girl: Ma'm...is it the same po ba?
Me : I'm sorry?
Breton girl: same order ma'm?
Me : what order? (sige nga wise guy..eerr girl pala)
Breton girl: Mango Banana Crepe with extra powdered sugar po and coke

anyenye (ala aiza seguerra!)

and that ends my boring sunday in the office. bonk bonk bonk.

"the rock candies have melted and now only diamonds remain" (Clarity in Heavier Things)

Dear Maria Belinda,

Here is your horoscopefor Tuesday, September 14:You're looking at that to-do list and wondering where to start. Your first move should be to tackle the project you like the least, or to make the phone call you've been putting off for the longest

I've been trying to make a list and a list of lists..gets? I'm trying to make a list of goals I want to achieve before year end. I'm trying to make a list of goals and things to do every month. So far, I haven't been entirely successful. Why? because I can't finish it!!!

pak the shet!




as marc sez this song is appropos for me

Where Do I Begin
(Chemical Brothers)

Sunday morning I'm waking up
Can't even focus on a coffee cup
Don't even know who's bed I'm in
Where do I start
Where do I begin
Where do I startWhere do I begin
Sunday morning I'm waking up
Can't even focus on a coffee cup
Don't even know who's bed I'm in
Where do I startWhere do I begin
Where do I startWhere do I begin

what a day! what a day!

...what a birthday it has been...

days creeping towards my birthday, i was feeling the usual birthday blues (read: no one cares about me, no one loves me, i'm so alone, i don't know what to do on my birthday dramatics)...i was really in a bind on what exactly to do on my birthday...in one of my previous entries i even had a list of what I was planning to do but nothing definite panned out so i was stuck with the usual treat everyone for my birthday thingie. treated everyone in the office with pizza and palabok (THANKS TO FRANCHIE FOR HELPING ME OUT!!!) and was s'posed to have a quiet nothing definite dinner with some friends on my birthday. Come wednesday, I was so tamad and i slept late. I got up around 12 noon when I got woken up by my yaya when Jets called to greet me. I was chatting with Mitch telling her na maybe we can move the dinner to a lunch or breakfast in tagaytay instead next sunday since I really wasnt able to invite anyone at all. i wanted to have dinner but somehow my heart was in it. but since I wasn't about to displease mitch and tin who "stayed" in the office just for my dinner so sige I went na din. I was bit delayed when Inigo called up just as I was fixing myself. we talked on the phone for almost an hour (57 minutes mobile call ormoc to manila...good luck to my phone bill!) discussing about...aahhmmm...next time nalang coz it'll be something worth blogging about...anyway, tried to hurry up but as i was on my way it kinda bothered me why tin and mitch weren't hurrying me up and being "assumption" me, i thought na baka there was a surprise waiting for me sa Dencio's. When tin texted me na ive to make them sundo sa office, the thought was still there...baka sa office yung surprise...but when i get there...no surprise pala (hundun bonks her head!)...had to work for a minute or two on an SR that I promised to fix for a customer before we finally headed for Dencio's in Paseo Center. When the manong asked us where we wanted to be seated I even asked Tin and Mitch where they wanna be seated. When tin finally said that we had a table na I thought that maybe they called ahead for reservations. when we were lead to our table it took awhile before it dawned on me that it was myls' back that I was seeing. the same myls who told me that she can't go because she has dinner with her family din. But i thought, maybe she changed her mind or maybe her family dinner finished early. but wait, there's ayn (with the nice bangs)...ayn who, in passing, i invited to the dinner that we were planning. again, i wasn't really up to it that's why i wasnt really inviting anyone at all. aba at may gift pa! aawww..thanks for the book and powerbooks giftcard everyone!mwah! when we were seated, i complained, due to my "oc-ness", why we had such a long table! ggrrr iklian natin i can't take the uneven seating and the empty chairs! but wait there's more (again), Jon and athea appeared suddenly. but my mind seemed to be on a time delay mode before it actually dawned on me that this was actually a surprise dinner! i even looked for athea when we were in the office just to invite her for that supposedly quiet dinner that we were gonna have. how quiet and low key it was s'posed to be? i wore pambahay clothes!!! kakahiya! anyway, so that explains the long table :) ...i was happy. for that moment I WAS HAPPY. I was with my closest friends. i was thinking that if my girls, my mom and sister were there i could die right that very moment. there were also planning pala to pay for the bill for that surprise dinner but I offered. i thought it was nothing. of course i'd pay for it. its my birthday anyway but gauging from their reactions they were really surprised that i actually footed the bill...hahaha who got surprised now! we ended around 930 and left Paseo Center. Mitch and tin went home while Marc, who was also there, and i went to his car. We went around as usual. planned to watched a movie but while waiting for the 11pm showing we went to macapagal highway just for a look see. had coffee in starbucks fort then went home na. when I got home, I checked my blog and saw a tag from Meian (summer) that they were in my surprise party but that I wasnt there...what!?!?!?!?!?! i charged my fone and saw several callback alerts from emer and meian and a comeback message from Vianca. OMG!!! they were there pala in Paseo Center. It turns out that Tin (from what summer narrated) was communicating with her about having surprise dinner for me. HAla! kakahiya! kya pala emer called me up to ask where I was. Being in the middle of dinner and since reception was so bad I wasn't really able to talk to her. i brushed it away thinking that she was in makati because of her new work and that she just happened to call to greet me or something...haaayyyyy!!!! so sayang!!!
so i say again, who got surprised now! i think everyone!

haaayyyy!!! what a mix up! what a surprise! just when i was thinking that it was gonna be another BLAH birhthday here comes my friends turning it to be the best birthday of my life. THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

with friends like them who needs a boyfriend!?!?!?! ayyy baka may mag react. nah having a guy would just be icing on the cake or maybe extra whipped cream.

sometimes when life deals you a bad card. sometimes when the universe does not conspire to give you your heart's desires. sometimes when people just make your life a living hell. trust God to give you friends who will pull you up from the quagmire that you are living in. trust God to give you friends who will make your heart smile and skip an extra beat. trust God to give you friends who will turn the most depressing day of your life to be the best one that it can ever be.

To everyone who remembered THANK YOU


(l-r) athea jon tin mitch me marc and ayn...myls left na agad :(

...o wlang magrereklamo.blog KO TO!

It's my..drum roll please...27th birthday...what have I achieved so far...not much...my year, as you know, has not been the best..it has been the worst..and being my birthday, i'm not even sure if there's anything to celebrate about...to me, Happy Birthday...or, which i think is more apt, Birthday lang since i'm not so happy naman...so to me, birthday!

Once a year you are given the licensce to be the queen of dramatics and its my turn today. I've got 24 hours and no one's gonna ruin MY day!!!!

my day so far...made libre to the whole floor yesterday...pizza for the afternoon people and pancit malabon (3rd year in a row!) for the gy people...

hafta to go...will make kwento later..have to fix my stuff

* s i g h *

It’s hard to believe
That there’s nobody out there
It’s hard to believe
That I’m all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don’t ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

-red hot chilli peppers


A kid wrote:

Dear God,

Thanks for giving me a baby brother, but what I was praying for was a puppy>"

God must've smiled when he read this note just as you are now. Do you pray like a child, talking to God with all your heart without pretense? Simply pouring out your feelings and opening your whole self without hiding anything....Tell God want you want...

....you know my heart Lord....you know my heart...

Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, September 12:


You know what they say about the calm before the storm? Well, you're about to enjoy the calm after the storm. It's not like you haven't earned it, either. Take a deep breath, kick back and relax. It's about time.

Yes! it is about time..but where is the calm!?!?!?!?!?!?!


its 2 days before my birthday..hala! why is it that Im not even excited...i feel so..blah!..nada..nothing..nil (football term)...hhaayyy...patty may just be right..birthday blues...

friday: did my monthly grocery with my yaya and bought some new stuff na din. aba! aba! while I was shopping pati yaya ko nag sshopping na din at nauna pa sya sa akin makabili!

was also able to watch...Troy (shit I cried!) and The Passion of Christ...yes! finally. ako nalang ata ang di nakawatch nun e...so at least now i can relate na..ay..no one makes kwento na pala about that movie...too late :)

saturday: had dinner with my girls and as usual "all star cast nanaman kme. Me, mein, kaje and emer. Viancs and beng didnt go. Had fun with them as usual. 2 things that made my night. was able to watch real madrid (beckham and owen...hhaaayyy!) and saw the cutest guy!!! Since sidebar (ElPueblo) had several TVs set up I was able to watch the game while enjoying the night with my girls. The cutest guy naman asa next table. kaso he had blinkers on ata at di man lang sya nag glance sa amin. fucker! hmph! sorry walang sense tong paragraph na to but so what. basta! i had fun yun lang.

sunday: went to work then Fred made me sundo and from Philam Tower we walked to North park in Makati Ave..yes. walked. i needed time to vent e so told him na we should walk nalang.

monday: went to work. was so tamad pa din. wala. nothing significant happened.

sorry if this entry is so boring. told you i feel so BLAH! (with matching sticking out my tongue for more emphasis)...

quarter life crisis? birthday blues. punyeta! birthday ko naman e...

"No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?"
---Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany's

finally it's my restday!

plans..plans...hafta to do my monthly grocery with my yaya...buy some stuff (hala! shopping again)...have my yaya fix my room...i swear she's the only one who can fix it up real nice and all in one day! me, i can't even do it in a week...meet up with my girls since it's Kaje's last weekend before she flies to greener pastures...try to watch all the dvds that i bought last week...oh, can I include rest in between?

"i am eternally lost but always optimistic that I'll find my way in this maze called life"

i'm starting to feel restless. i'm starting to hate my work. i'm starting to feel lost. i'm starting to feel that it's time to move on...a new client maybe...i new line of work...a new company...

"Mikhail: is this really how one find love

Carrie: No,its just what we do to distract ourselves until the real thing comes along"

My friend, mahal, is setting me up on a date hehehehe...after my last que horror blind date i vowed that I'll never go out on a blind date ever again...but here I am agreeing...maria agatha belinda bettina eugenie victoria ..que horror! tristan, an officemate, told me to tell my friend to tell the guy to call me first (phonepal?!?!?!) para we can talk daw muna...o and then...shit...hala! sige! Let's do it...one more time...bring 'em on! So if you have a friend that you wanna set me up with I'm free. Wednesday and thursday...woohoo! for more life!

But please, if you really are my friend, you'd know my requirements...ugh..not really requirement(s)...more of...a whatever requirement is the word...he has to speak WELL! no mouse sounding voices...no f for the p. p for the f. d for the v and v for the d tendency. no braindead men. no reynante like men (read: driver or boy look a like) or else my mom will disown me. no..aahhmmm...a man with a good head and a good heart that'll do. shit dating pa nga lang pala...a basta he has to speak well!

for rent: ME! wednesday thursday lang ;P

fuck it! this entry is so squatter!

i am sleepy!

Copacetic (Adjective)

Pronunciation: [ko-pê-'se-tik]. can be spelled as copsetic, too.

Definition: More than satisfactory, fine, running very smoothly, going quite well.
The term is perfect if you want to express an intensified "O.K." without going so far as "excellent" or "outstanding." "That solution isn't just good, it's positively copacetic." This word has overtones of "congenial", too: "Things are not so copacetic at the office right now; the new director is a bit overbearing."


"Don't damn me when I say a piece of my mind coz silence isn't golden when I'm holding it inside" (Guns and Roses)

i don't care who reads this entry. this is my blog. my world. my thoughts.

this is a delayed reaction to what happened during the weekend (one of the many things) that is still brewing as I type. I didn't wanna blog about since i was still angry and my emotions are still going berserk (they still are...). Schedules got change because of promotions and lack of coverage. First sked gets rolled out. I had the worst sked. 3pm wed thursday off. WTF! Everyone got the skeds that was ideal for them and I get a sucky sked?!?!?! Daya. So friday night a colleague and I tried to fix the sked for everyone's benefit. YES! FOR EvERYONE'S BENEFIT. The sked that we proposed got approved. yey! everyone gets the sked that they want including me 3pm fri sat off. not bad na din. at least i didnt have a loser sked. Come sat am skeds got changed. i got the same restdays but my shift was move an hour later while some got good skeds and the others sucky time. So it was but natural for them to make reklamo about it. But what I don't get is why get mad at me? I didn't give them that sked? That's not the one that we proposed and you know it. So what if I made reklamo. if you had a sucky sked, wouldn't you do the same thing that I did? bet you will. it was never my intention for you to get panget skeds. the new sked (the latest) wasn't the one that we proposed and got approved by the tm so why blame me for it? kse i made reklamo? so the theory is now that no one can make reklamo about his/her getting a panget sked if everyone else got the sked that they wanted? Wow. so much for equal benefits. The no replies and the sungit answers that I got was something that i did not deserve to get. maybe you should've asked first what happened before you jumped into your own conclusions. maybe you should thought first if i had the capability to make you kupal about your skeds just as long as i get the sked that i wanted. if you think that I am..teehhee then maybe thats what i should've done na nga lang. sana we didn't waste so much time drafting that sked that we proposed nalang.

i deserve a sorry for what you did. clearly it was a miscommunication. clearly it was flagellating someone just because one tried to speak a piece of her mind.

lesson to self: bawal magreklamo just as long everyone else got what they wanted.

stuck with a 3pm wed thursday off. so much for having a life.

my turn for YOU entries, tin.

happy birthday to myself!

"It is an unpleasant fact of life that one day you look fabulous, you will not run into the person who causes your pulse rate to break the sound barrier. The day you look like a trogolodyte, that's when you see the person. Events conspire to present you to the beloved in the worst possible light."

I'm sorry this didn't happen to me because no matter what you do I am still prettier than that chona girl kahit mag pang bahay ata ako AND I'm sorry insecure! Darkwinter and I caught her staring at me...now that's not my problem!

I decline to make kwento what happened during the weekend...why? because I remember Ces telling me that "someone" might be reading my blog and we don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they occupy space in my life least of all my blog, right? Tama na I got hassled...ggrrr...HHAASSSSLLLEEE!!!

"Between you and an insipid girl who is easy to control, a guy will choose the insipid girl who is easy to control."

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla


men can read?!?!?!?!

just doing my usual floorwalking when i chanced upon 2 reps of mine that were reading just a station away from each other. One was reading 5 people you meet in heaven by Mitch Ablom and the other Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. Wow! What a relief! Men actually read pala! hahahaha... hey i have lots of guy friends but don't know a lot who read actual books. so this was a pleasant surprise for me. So lax and Raffy, kudos to you! Shit this sounding like a commendation. whatever. i think i just lost my mind.

"A man with nothing to prove? that's a first" (CSI)

...It Is Not Easy:


To apologize when you have hurt another person;

To admit error when your reputation for honesty is at stake;

To be unselfish when a little extra grab might enrich you;

To face a sneer when the sneerer makes you want to fight;

To be considerate when people get on your nerves;

To achieve success and remain humble when you are tempted to be cross;

To keep trying when many failures have tested your patience;

To think a little more before you act when your temper is up

To maintain a high standard of personal living when others take the short cuts.

But...you'll find that all these things pay... in the end!

The crash of 2004

I recently had my midyear feedback with my TM. My boss is the best next to Arjay..or is it the other way around? My feedback was focused on how well i performed during the first half of the year and as usual my boss told me that I did well in terms of my stats but we also touched base on what happened to me which you should be familiar with na if you've been reading my blog long enough or if you are a friend...just to give you a gist of what happened let's just say that i let myself and my worklife get affected by my personal life. That was unthinkable until it happened to me but I guess it happens to the best of us. My TM is someone you can talk to anytime-as long as he's not rushing something or in a meeting. He'll listen to you 100 percent and rest assured that whatever you talk about stays between the 2 of you. Many times have I borrowed his ear to ask for his thoughts about something. He was the reason why I changed my mind to going to Cebu. During my feedback, I explained to him that one reason I haven't applied for any higher position is because I want to first re-establish my niche in our team. The niche that I lost when I went through my "insanity stage". I told him that right now I do not have any plans of applying for a higher position because I wanna prove myself and to reclaim the "respect" that I lost among my peers when I "fell down" because I know come interview time that ghost will haunt me and I must be ready to kill whatever doubt they have with my capability. So now I stay where I am. Slowly but surely...I am slowly getting up from where i fell down. Bruised and battered I stand, albeit shaking, i still stand...

"Love is a form of hysteria. Fortunately, it always passes."

I've so many drafts of entries I've been meaning to post but somehow I don't get to finish them...why? Beats me. A kaleidoscope of thoughts whiz past me staying for a minute or two then they fly away off to an unknown destination and here I am stuck with another useless thought...


"It's not fair. I can't compare. To an ugly girl. A real ugly girl. Lalalalala..."
(Fiona Apple)

There's a kitten trapped in our firewall and i've been hearing its cry for days now. it's annoying like hell but what can I do? I can't destroy our firewall naman for one small kitten (PETA! PETA!)...my heart goes out for that kitten but again, i can't do anything for her/him. sorry little kitty :( i hope your mommy rescues you because i can't...so for now i pretend to not hear the cries...

Our company's sportsfest started last sat and I'm glad to say that our mixed basketball team won..ehem ehem...i was one of the players...but sadly i didnt do anything...a minute or two in the game I was panting like crazy na. those who were in the sidelines said that we were all so red na from fatigue...i think i've to quit smoking muna...MUNA (tin, would be so glad to hear this)...i thinking of limiting my yosi to half a pack a day instead of a pack a day...that should be a start...

that was last saturday...come sunday, our men's basketball team was crushed by the opposing team..i think they've to re-think their non existent team play...during the game too, the unexpected happened...jerx arrived with the girl...i prayed fervently that i'd never get to see them together but unfortunately that prayer wasn't answered...surprisingly i was ok...i was expecting a stabbing in the heart feeling when i see them together but i didn't...is this a sign that i am finally over him...please God yes!...i don't wanna dwell too much on that anymore..no more use in crying over spilt milk as franchie said...all i can say is...yan ba ang pinalit mo sa akin!?!?!?!?!

Kindness... courtesy...sensitivity to others... empathy...it goes a loooong way

Was surprised to get an e-mail from a fellow blogger. I don't know her and, if I remember correctly, had never had a chance of stumbling upon her blog. Kinda surprised that I got an e-mail from someone that I didn't know and with all the virus scares I almost deleted it. It's not the first time though that someone got hold of my e-mail addy since I recently got a weird YM from someone who was asking when my birhtday is exactly because s/he had a gift for me...anyway, I normally do not entertain questions and requests from people unbeknownst to me but since her e-mail was so courteous I decided to oblige her. If the tone of the e-mail was different I wouldn't have given the time of the day--err night but since, again, it was courteous I did what she asked of me.



So y'see young boys and girls, kindness and courtesy and even a smile goes a long way. Things that are asked for nicely are usually given to the askee. Comments that are said nicely and in a polite way are usually, if not always, accepted wholeheartedly by the recipient of the comment.

The world is not a "good" place to live in and to raise of future children in anymore... with all the negative things that are happening all over...what can you do..jump off the planet?...Its still where we live and who else but to better it but us. Who else to love it but us. If you're whining in your little corner about everything that is happening in your life or around you maybe its time to ask yourself what have YOU done? I, in my little way have tried to clean my slate and my karma by making amends with my past. By being more friendly with people I had never spoken to before in my account or had never been too chummy chummy with. I have built a relationship w my mother. I have become more open to other people. I have become less afraid of trying out new things in life. It may not be a lot, I know, but its a start and I know that I'm on my way...so anyone wants to join my journey? Don't you worry it's not an amazing race or survivor kinda race..Good God no more of that kind pleasee...isn't reality enough without having to watch it on the tube? Its more of a journey that will let you stop and smell the roses. It's the kinda journey that you will not be pressed for time or be pressured to give out any results. It's the kinda journey that there is no fixed finished line. The end ultimately depends on you. No training or preparation needed...its just you...and a determination to reach your ultimate goal might be handy. Your seatbelt will be your faith...your faith in God, in yourself and in everyone...your steering wheel~~your mind. And if along the way, and rest assured there will be, some bumps and road blocks, God will be your airbag. It's the kinda journey that may or may not be the ride of your life. But I assure you, you will enjoy it.


"Be kind. Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." (T. H. Thompson)

Bloggers' Night!
Sept. 3 (Friday), 8pm
Dencio's Grill, Powerplant Mall

Come one Come All!!!


Been sitting for almost an hour and I can't seem to settle on what to blog...i wanted to make kwento about "hassles" and insipid people who tag or comment in your blog and leave irresponsible comments/tags and do not even have the balls to sign in their real names or urls...decided not to give them another minute of my time nalang...so what I am s'psed to blog about...nothing...but i was just wondering...
you think God ever gets lonely?

THE ART OF WAITING

Why Wait?

Because although we want to be decisive, we do not want to be impulsive.

Although we want to be swift, we do not want to be hasty.
Although we want to hold on to the one we love,
we do not want to lose ourselves in the process.
If we want to run, we must first learn to walk.
If we want to swim, we must first learn to float.
If we want to make love, we must first learn to love.

In the end, it is still best to wait for the one we want
rather than settle for the one that is available.
It is still best to wait for the one you love
rather than settle for the one who is around.
It is still best to wait for the right person.
Because life is too short to waste on the wrong one.

Because waiting serves a purpose. Noble and mysterious,
you have to know that flowers do not bloom overnight.
Rome was not built in a day. A life grows in the womb for nine months.
Great love grows steadily over a lifetime.
Most good things in life take a long time. And they are all worth waiting for.
These, despite the fact, that although waiting requires a lot of things...

faith, courage, and hope...
Waiting guarantees nothing. One cannot imagine,
after all, that God in all His wisdom, asks us to wait, for no essential reason.


"If you want to catch a butterfly,Don’t run after it,
Instead, sit down and open your hand
It will just land on your palm when it needs to rest.

That’s the way to find love…”

Just as I was about to post my entry the power in our house surges causing my pc to re-start...punyeta so here i am trying to remember what I typed..grumble grumble...


You have been weighed You have been measured and you have been found wanting (Knight's Tale)

It's less than 25 days before my 2* birthday and I still do not know what I'm gonna do...I've been wracking my brains out but all i can come up are the ideas below so if any one out there has any nice idea on what I can do on my birthday, lemme know...

1. Have a quiet dinner by myself (loser! loser)
2. Have dinner with close friends and family (anu buzz i don't have any family here!Does my yaya count?)
3. Have an open party
4. Stay at home (sulk sulk sulk)
5. Check in a hotel and just rest there the whole time and maybe take a long bubble bath and regress! (aaahhh!)
6. organize a kiddie party in an orphanage with all my friends donating some stuff to the kids (and maybe, just maybe I'd be able to prod the nuns in the orphanage if they can let me adopt one of the babies or kids there)
7. Just kill my self ..nuff said...


Somebody else
(Sister Hazel)

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no-
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better,
Might feel better if you stay

Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in…

If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...


Hey hey-
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?
Oh no- take it all in
The world's a show
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow

Hey hey-
what ya say
We both go and seize the day
'cause what's your hurry
what's your hurry anyway

at dahil reklamador daw ako here are more rants and ramblings:

I wasn't able to save the other tags that I got but its so nice to know that when one is blogger is being "hassled" other bloggers comes to the rescue

***hugs everyone***

THANK YOU to My big sister Tin,My little sister Claire,aMgiNe,Meatmarket,Summer and Deslite for their kind words.

"Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako, ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng mabaho, ayoko ng walang tubig, ayoko ng walang pagkain, ayoko ng putik." (Kaya kong Abutin ang Langit)

some coward posted this in my tag board:

morlock: Dont get mad, but you have to loosen up. Masyado kang maraming reklamo sa buhay. Simula sa ex mo na di mo pa rin maaming bitter ka pa rin. Marami ka namang friends, so anong nirereklamo mo?

To you Morlock or whatever your name is your comment was downright irresponsible and i can clearly see that you do not know what you are talking about.

If you were a close friend of mine you would know that i actually acknowledge my bitterness about my ex. Who wouldn't be anyway? He cheated on me. He lied to me several times. Have you been cheated on and lied to? Maybe you haven't. Maybe you have but had forgotten how it felt. I think I have every right to be bitter about what happened. If you were a close friend of mine you would know that I have actually forgiven my ex and the girl for all the pain and heartaches they caused me. I even went to great lengths to inform them of this. That forgiveness I gave even when I never got any sorry for what they did. That forgiveness was given freely and without any prejudice. I even posted a note that I pray that they will never experience the same pain that I went through because I do not believe that anyone, not even them, deserve to experience that kind of pain and with that post I even said that they can come to me when they need someone to talk to or when they need a friend. I went past my pain to be able to forgive them so that I can gain my peace of mind back. I went past my pain to be able to forgive myself for loving someone so much. So am I still bitter? Yes I am but it has not hindered me to live the life that I am living now. Yes I am afraid to love and to trust again. But wouldn't you be? So again, cowardly morlock, tell me again if i do not have the right to be bitter about what my ex did to me. Tell me if you can not be bitter after the person you gave your life heart and soul to betrays you.

"Masyadong maraming reklamo sa buhay" bakit meron bang tao sa mundo na walang reklamo sa kanyang buhay? I have do not have the best life right now. Maybe for some twist of fate you have and I am glad for you. I really am. In this year alone I have lost 2 men in my life and another one is dying. The 2 are insignificant comapred to the man that I am losing now. My lolo. My dearest lolo. if I had a list of the important people in my life today, my paternal lolo would be #1 alongside my maternal grandmother. Next would be my parents and sister. I would give my life to my lolo in an instant and with him sick and as the doctor said, dying I think I have every right to question why another heartache when I have just recovered from the last one and had barely enough time to gather strength...and yet I am not. I believe that its not our place to question the why and whens of the Lord. I believe that we're just here to roll with whatever comes our way but then again, I am just human. I am human enough to admit that I can only take so much pain and heartache in my life. I am human enough to know that though everything may seem hopeless and bleak right now I know that he has a reason for everything and I trust him. I am human enough to feel whatever it is i am feeling now and that is that I am sad afraid and lonely. And yet being all those had never hindered me from living my life the way it is. Yes, I have my family and dear friends who I have repeatedly thanked God for and I have called them my diamonds in dustheaps. Apparently, you are not one of them or else you would have never made such irresponsible comment in such a open and cowardly manner. next time, intindihin mo muna kung ano ang sasabihin mo. Hindi mo alam nakakasakit ka na. I hope karma doesn't find you. if you have anything else to say and since you seem to take pride in "knowing me" tell it to my face next time. be a man.

***find a better version of the pic above in http://joyfulwisdom.blogspot.com

Remember to bre-athe,And every-thing will be o-kay

marc "my closest guy friend" is how he described himself when he protested when I told him that he can't read my blog...was such a dear when last wednesday when he suddenly asked how I was...we had coffee and cigs during my 1 hour lunch..he went back to the office to fetch me when my shift ended at 12mn...we had our usual where are we going routine...let's go to gweilo's..marc you're driving in circles..dude, i know where i'm going...foolish you went around pa e hello sana you made daan nalang here o..see!...e..e..i hadn't decided yet that we go to gweilo's when we passed by that street e...dude, do we hafta to go there?..why you don;t want?..nope, i'm in my pambahay clothes...e me din naman e...a basta not to gweilo's...o sige where do we go..let's try if gonuts is still open..yeah right at 1230am????..let's just check nlang ok!?!?!?!..see! they're close na!....see they're close na..told you so told you so...got some cigs and gum in shell fort...o where to?..the usual triangle...greenhills-makati-forbes/fort..bahala na....next thing we know we were driving south and there i was listening to marc's singing..dude, never knew you sang well pala...there are a lot of things you dunno about me...hhmmm...y'know this is the 2nd time palang since my break up that I've been to south..whaddya mean...well after the breakup i kinda made it a rule to neve venture south...territoryo ko till makati sa kanya na ang south...ddirrtyy south...foolish...you make your world small because of him...a basta just make me kampi ok...how many times did we see each other when you guys were together...aahhmmm...once lang ata e and i think i had to ask his permission pa and that was in the office pa...why ba?...ayaw nya lang..he was jealous of me..yuh...marc snickers...come to think of it i barely or almost didn't see my guyfriends when we were together...loser!..who me? no foolish! loser ka naman tlaga e i meant him...a ok...me shuts up...san na yung mga big bottles of sodas to mark our exit...malayo pala tagaytay..how come we never noticed that before...i dunno...you watched (some scary movie)..nope i hate horror movies e i'm scaredy cat...marc then tries to scare me...marc, d'y'know that i have a very open third eye...huh?...i can hear see and feel...aaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! stop it...bwahahaha..you started it..there was this time when I saw..aargghh stop stop!....ha! backfired no...marc grumbles...arrives in tagaytay...whoa! fog's so thick..yea!drive slowly shu-MARC-er...opens moon roof...what's the difference between a moon roof and a sun roof..i dunno..then why did you get one..meron na agad dyan e..how'd you know that it's a moon roof and not a sun roof..coz that's what they said sa dealership..are you sure are you sure..argghhh!...cool ng light effects pala when there're fog..honga e...o where do we go..i dunno..back to manila...ok..can i sleep for 5 minutes?..yeah sure..o pull down the seat..ok...wakes up in shell mckinley..told u to wake me up sa expressway na shell a.. you were sleeping SOUNDLY e..i was snoring?..yeah and it was very disturbing...di nga?!?!...foolish, i was just kidding...medyo lang..slaps marc...stupid...cna we go home na..ok...text me when you're home..ok..330Am: i'm home na...thanks marc...sure...




Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me. (Ally McBeal)

how are you?

kamusta ka?

kumusta na lolo mo?

ok ka lang?

HINDE!!!!! <--- understatement of the year can I die now!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So no one told you life was gonna be this way,Your job's a joke,You're broke,Your lovelife's DOA...It's like you're always stuck in second gear...And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year...


Annus horribilis

...and its 25 days till my birthday...its obvious to everyone that I know that it hasn't been my year...i think at the end of the year I'd have my annual assessment of how my life has been so far and the only phrase that can best describe my year and ultimately my life is..ANNUS HORRIBILIS...

4 more months to go..maybe i'd fare better next year...but for now..konti tiis...punyeta..di ka pa ba tapos sa kakabato ng kung ano ano sa akin? what else what else...maybe one of these days you'd have mercy on my soul and just take me instead...who am i kidding?!?!?!

you bleed just to know you're alive...

monday afternoon found out that something happened to my dear lolo...my dear brother, Stupid Dog,didn't even tell me agad..i had to find out through my younger brother who's in the states. He suffered a mild stroke daw when he was in Tarlac (where he has a second family) and hadn't been eating for almost a week and last thursday, he asked that he be brought home to his house in San Jose (our house)...we dunno why since he was more fond of his 2nd family anyway...when he was brought home my tito's and tita's (the real ones) brought him to the hospital where he was s'posed to be confined but being the stubborn and hard headed man that he is he adamantly refused to be confined. The doctor said that he be stripped off of any "pananagutan" from my tita letty who used to be the Doctor General of Pampanga and who used to have a clinic in the same hospital before she went to New York. Must've been an funny sight since the doctor was older than my tita letty and a scant younger than my lolo lang. When I found out what happened to my lolo, i went home early tuesday morning all alone and with pequeno knowledge on how to go home. All my knowledge on commuting home is from observing on how my dad used to make hatid my lola ima sa Bus terminal. The bus terminal, I thought, would be my ticket to paradise just as long as I remember where it is pa....but Lo and behold, the terminal that used to be there had folded up na pala...so there I was not knowing where to go and what to do...aaaa! bahala na! so to cut the story short...nakarating naman ako despite the several maling nababaan and nasakyan and over charging incidents...whew!

When I arrived sa hws ng lolo ko there were 2 faces who I had never seen before but seemed awfully familiar...hhmmmm eto ata yung mga anak ng lolo ko sa 2nd family..ggrrr at paano nakatuntong yan mga yan dito!...transferred to the house of my tito...naghanap ng kakampi-este kakilala pala...i was like a kid who was making sumbong sa mommy na there were strangers in our house!...ggrrrr...my tito and titas explained who they were...aba! sa inyo pala kme pinagpalit ng lolo ko...beee! ako pa din ang favorite....hhaaayyyy..nonsense nonsense...i'm just trying to be happy here....so anyway, on with the drama...when I had ksama na, I went back to my lolo's house...he was asleep...or so i thought he was...awake na pala sya...since he was hard of hearing na and can't see na din my tita had to shout at him na I was there...my lolo's answer: "nino ita?" ...i just got stabbed and left for dead....my knees turned to jelly...tears sprung from the corner of my eyes..."nino ita?"...sino daw ako...i was the favorite apo and he couldn't even remember me...my tita had to explain who I was pa kaya he remembered me...i wanted to leave...i wanted to run...i wanted to die...but i couldn't...i had to stay and talk to him...stayed for 5 minutes lang...sandali lang i have to go...i have to gather enough strength after that just kill me nalang incident...my tita explained that of all his apos I was the only one he remembers nalang...my other cousins he couldn;t remember na tlaga...so come to think of it ako pa din pala ang favorite...i stayed the night...i wanted to stay till sunday and just call in sick nalang but the atmosphere in my lolo's house got to me...it was as if there was a deathly pall all over the place...it was so draining...the commute was tiring but the stay in my lolo's house drained all strength...thus i decided to go...i couldn't stay there...it was like waiting for death to come knowing that he is just around the corner biding his time...it's the waiting game that got to me....i had to leave...and so the next day with a heavy heavy heart I went back to Manila...again, with no knowledge on how to go back...punyeta mag strong strongan kse e!...

hafta end that story...putting my emotions and the events of the past few days just, again, drained my strength or whatever's left of it..hala sige magpakasaya ka sa mga mumo at tira tira kung may makukuha ka pa....

i just wish the real world would stop hassling me (real world, matchbox 20)

I ask everyone to please pray for my lolo

Blogger's night...

Kroc GB3...dame tao...tagal ng table...sino ba kse nag suggest ng Kroc...aahhhmmmmm...ahem ahem...finally a table..kaso the rain! the rain! transfer tables...kulang seats...kain kain...kwento kwento...still raining ng malakas...after dinner Summer had to go kse nka lunch lang pla...Dude and Ipis had to leave..may date pa sila...transferred to Segfredo with Tin, Orbital and date, aMgiNe, Radix and friend...went home around 130am...instead of going home as we planned aMgiNe and I stayed in Seattle's GB3 till 330am...kwento kwento kwento..kwento and more kwento...

Blooger's night out

conversations:

w Len: pag heartbroken ka lahat ng lalaki mabait. lahat ng lalaki malambing. lahat ng lalaki gwapo

w Ron: *deep sigh*
Me : e bakit ka nga sad?
Ron : wla...di ko alam
Me : kakainis ka naman e. nakakahawa ka.Here I am trying to smile.Trying to happy tapos biglang manghahawa ka...
Ron : hindi naman pwede na sa lahat ng oras masaya ka. minsan malulungkot ka din

w Jon: I'm irresistable.

w Mitch: May kanin pa?

I HAVE A KRAS!

my crush ako...secret nalang kung sino...he has a blog but he doesn't know that I frequent his blog nor does he know that I have a blog..or baka alam nya...
tteeeehhheee....landi! kaso my girlfriend na and works somewhere else so I guess sa picture ko nlang sya makikita...hhhaaaayyyyy....deep sigh...sana ako nalang yun...mabait naman ako e...perfect pa...hahahaha!

"I am everything you want; I am everything you need; I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things, at exactly the right time,
but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why?"

So why am I still alone?

"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?"
- Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892)

so buti pa si January (an officemate) may progress na no...so ako nalang ang natitira asa aking kinalalagyan...insert YM emoticon thats rolls eyes here...buti pa sya..oh well, ganyan tlaga...i just hope that everything turns out well for her...and as for me, I here I await my turn...

"tears in my eyes burn..while tears in my eyes burn..while im waiting for my turn"


I saw Igo's picture in Ces' blog... :(

My Happy Ending
(Avril Lavigne)

So much for my happy ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

Lacuna Test


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How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.
(Alexander Pope)

I'm gonna watch this movie...puro good reviews...how I wish that such a thing is possible...to erase someone from your memory...if there was such a thing I would be first in line to avail of it no matter what the cost...



Bloggers' Night update:
Date: August 14 (Sat.)
Time: 7:30pm
Venue: Krocodile Grill (GB3)
Everyone is invited!

Someone just told me that someone commented na I'm not doing anything daw. office politics here we go again...why is it that no matter what you do some people will think badly of you...damned if you do damned if you don't...can't please everyone all the time...fuck it...punyeta..potangina...ggrrr...i know that I shouldn't be affected when such things happen but i'm the kind of person kse na i take everything personally but i've learned to cope rather to compensate for that weakness of mine by just not letting others see that i'm that affected......i started writing an explanation w a list of everything that I do but decided against it...no matter what I do naman people will always be crabby minded...as long as I know that I'm doing what I can do then that should be it %$@S@#!R$@##!!!! ARRGGGHHH!!!!!

Jose Inigo!

Congrats kAt and Jocas :)

Who's Your Mr. Right?

The Sensitive Guy (18-24 points)
Isn't he sweet? You definitely go for the guy who has a serious case of feelings -- whether he wears them on his sleeve or not. Manners seem important to him, and to you. And it's a good bet your soul mate would as easily tune into ballads on the radio as he would stage a protest against cruelty to animals. Tapping into his soft side, however, may not always be so easy. A guy who's clued in to his feelings may also be protective of them. So if you find yourself face-to-face with one of these sweeties, don't wait for him to make the first move. Let him know you want to get to know him better. Sensitive types think with their heart as well as their brain -- he'll get the hint.

"I see dead people" sixth sense

I was given a gift that I never asked or wished for...its the gift of..how do I say it...having extra sensory...o what the hell let's cut the chase...my third eye is open...not THAT open but let's just a bit ajar...or open enough for me to be able to sense somethings that the "normal" population cannot and see things that the "normal" population cannot...change the word cannot to not able to...i still believe that everyone has that gift and that we just differ in "levels"...there out in the open I said it...again, for me its not a gift...why? because I'm a scaredy cat...of all people why me? this "gift" is a bane and a boon for me...a boon because I am exposed or I am open to such things but its a bane because

1) i kinda think that its unfair for those who are not able to feel/see their loved ones and I am able to

2) people ask me about all those third eye, soul seeking chorva..don't ask me ok!?!?! I don't contact your loved ones like calling them on the phone or texting them na magpakita sa akin. they do it of their volition and if i had my way, I'd rather that they don't. i can only see hear or feel what they want me to see hear or feel. again, my third eye is only ajar and I do not want it opened.

3)I'm hesitant to tell people what I can see or feel. because i might scare them which i do not want. i actually want more people to understand how things are but then again understanding comes with an open mind. i cannot open a closed mind or someone who doesnt want to understand.

4) yes I am an abner but I'm not a freak ok!!! Someone actually told me that I am...fucking a...

maybe you would never be able to understand how I feel and how sometimes such things are very difficult for me...i don't expect you to understand...no one does anyway...

"What is so great about the real world?"

Saturday gimik:

OTRD (Overtime on a rest day)...greenhills...new shoes and slippers (same with Tin!)...bait Jon made us sundo w his friend Shiela...Mitch's lola's wake in Funeraria Paz...met up with Geoff in Cable Car eastwood...

not a 100% all aglow and a bed of roses kind of life but I am surviving...i am good...but i can be better...now what should I do?



Stupid
(Sarah McLachlan)

Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for i am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all i can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes

how stupid could i be
a simpleton can see
that you're not good for me
but you're the only one i see

love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as i floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses i know

horoscopes and faith:

August 1: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to cooperate with the universe -- no matter what it tosses your way. Fortunately, you're going to just love most of it.

August 4: Take a breath. The universe has arranged a break in the action. You may actually have to endure a few moments of boredom over the course of the day -- but won't that be nice for a change?

very deep breath....hhaaaayyyyy....so far nothing yet...life, when you're ready to dole out something good my way I'm just hear waiting...with a gargantuan bag and a golf umbrella just to make sure that I get all of it :)

I noticed that my entries lacked depth...i used to be a writer (and photographer) for our school's paper...i used to write poems...i used to just lock myself up in my room and do nothing but write read write read write but as I grew older my writings changed to..blech...I'd always say that I can express myself better when I write...i'm a better writer than a talker...when i talk or speak I always manage to put my foot in my mouth somehow...but when I write I'd be able to make you cry...no kid...but the only thing I can't do is write a love letter on behalf of someone else...i can write a mean love letter to someone I love but not for someone else's love...I even won a poetry writing contest in the States...but I wasn't able to get the prize coz I didn't attend the awarding which was on the other side of the continent. I was on the west coast while the awarding ceremonies was gonna be held in Maryland~east coast. They never contacted me after my no show but i think they got to publish my poem though...

i dunno what happened..why i lost my touch..why i'm not able to write anything that can be classified as real writing...i think reality got in the way...maybe one of these days I'd be able to write again...write from my heart w/o my mind interfering..maybe one of these days I'd be able to pour out my heart again..maybe one of these days I'd be able to write that letter that i have been meaning to finish...maybe one of these days...

"When I had journey half of our life's way, I found myself within a shadowed forest, for I had lost the path that does not stray." Dante

1. give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
2. am I loveable?
3. how long have you known me?
4. when and how did we first meet?
5. what was your first impression?
6. do you still think that way about me now?
7. if i was an ice cream flavor, which would i be and why?
8. do you think i'll get married?
9. what makes me happy?
10. what makes me sad?
11. what song (if any) reminds you of me?
12. if you could give me anything what would it be?
13. do you consider me a good friend?
14. when's the last time you saw me?
15. ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. would you make a move on me?
17. describe me in one word.
18. do you think our friendship is getting stronger/ weaker/or staying the same?
19. do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and i would listen?
20. do i cross your mind at least 2 times a day?

Bet Tin will not read this entry emtirely kse masyadong mahaba :)

Len says that she likes my feet daw! She kras my feet :) which is anti thesis to how I feel about my -ugh-feet. I've always thought that my feet were the ugliest! I have flat feet. So that means that they're wwiiiiidddeeee! Parang bangka-ay barko- pala. So to compensate, I buy dddeee---viinnnneee (ala Rita Gomez voice) shoes para di halata how panget they are. As she said, I have good taste in footwear which I am actually proud of... hehehe...i love shoes! that i think is the understatement of the year. shoe fetish? yes. a little imelda? yes. So how many shoes do I have? I have yet to count. But I can say that I have a lot! One of these days I will reserve one day to count and do an accounting of my shoes. maybe I can sell some of them..sell a used shoe..blech!

I just have one question though...why is it that we're (women) good with choosing our shoes, clothes and what nots but have absolutely poor taste in men...***belinda scratches her head, puts on her headset and lights up a yosi...***


For Chris and Mitch (again), the poem below is for you guys. Don't be saddened by what happened. God has a purpose why they took your love ones away. We might not understand the reason why but who are we to question the whys and hows of the Lord. Let's just be happy knowing that they are with Him right now. What else is more beautiful than that? Maybe He needs more angels up there. Maybe God wanted them to be your angels instead of the one you have now because He knows that they will take better care of you.

God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes, He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day
God called you home


Chris, though you are going through a different heartbreak, I still know that the pain is overwhelming. I may have never experienced the kind of pain you are feeling now but know that you and Angelo are in my prayers. Though you may feel that its your karma, think of it instead as God's way of making you kalabit and letting you know He is there for you even if sometimes we tend to forget Him in our busy every day lives. Isn't it heartwarming to know that you now have a little angel watching over you?

Wrong Funeral
(Author Unknown)

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat.
I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my mother.
She finally had lost her long battle with cancer.
The hurt was so intense, I found it hard to breathe at times.
Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father's death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life.
When Mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her.
I counted it an honor.
"What now, Lord?" I asked sitting in church.
My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss.
My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife's hand.
My sister sat slumped against her husband's shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child.
All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone.
My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk,taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication,reading the Bible together.
Now she was with the Lord.
My work was finished, and I was alone.
I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church.
Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor.
An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me.
He folded his hands and placed them on his lap.His eyes were brimming with tears.
He began to sniffle. "I'm late," he explained, though no explanation was necessary.
After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented, "Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of 'Margaret'?"
"Because that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary. No one called her 'Mary,'" I whispered.
I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church.
He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting.
Who was this stranger anyway?
" No, that isn't correct," he insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, "Her name is Mary, Mary Peters." "That isn't who this is." "Isn't this the Lutheran church?"
"No, the Lutheran church is across the street."
"Oh."
"I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Sir."
The solemness of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man's mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter.
I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs.
The creaking pew gave me away.
Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious.
I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me.
He was laughing, too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit.
I imagined Mother laughing.
At the final "Amen," we darted out a door and into the parking lot.
"I do believe we'll be the talk of the town," he smiled.
He said his name was Rick and since he had missed his aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee.
That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place.
A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor.
This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time.
In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter.
In place of loneliness, God gave me love.
This past June we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary.
Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, "Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven."

"Sadness is just happiness turned on its ass; it's all show biz."-
The Saddest Music in the World

The quote above was s'posed to be the end of today's entry until I checked on aMgiNe's blog and read her latest entry entitled: tHe bLeSsiNg Of BeLLe's fRieNdShiP....teka ako yun a!

at 3am I am crying...the entry was so touching...i usually hate it when people say thank you to me. I don't like being thanked for for something that i did or had done for them...why...nakakahiya lang...labo? I dunno...i guess its just that I don't expect anything in return...don't get me wrong...its not that I don't appreciate when people say thank you or that i didn't appreciate what she wrote in her blog...nahihiya lang ako...hehehehe.....but again, I am so touched. Knowing that I am a source of comfort for someone...knowing that I made someone smile or laugh...knowing that I am able to help someone...knowing that they wish me well and knowing that I matter to someone...that is enough for me...

"thanks so much belle. may God bring back all your kindness to me to you a hundred times over here in this earth and eternal life in the next. God bless you...."

I'll be at your side
There's no need to worry
Together we'll survive
Through the haste and hurry
I'll be at your side
When you feel like you're alone
And there's nowhere to turn
I'll be at your side.
- "At Your Side," The Corrs

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline ! "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

and this time it was my turn to say: From MY lips to God's ears

Last sunday night, I cried for a friend who's going through a broken heart...i cried while I was praying for her...i cried because I felt the same thing a couple of months ago...i asked God to not take away the pain because I know the pain will make her stronger. I asked God instead to strengthen her heart to endure the pain and loneliness. I asked God to send my guardian angel to comfort her for the night because I know the nights are long and lonely...don't worry dear, you will have laughter in your heart again...maybe not today or tomorrow...not yet...but remember you will one day...God will not give you anything you cannot handle...I thought before that I could never be where I am now but here I am alive and happy...Just pray...

Reach up as far as you can today...

...and God will reach reach down the rest of the way.

If you're too tired to raise your hands, I'll reach up to God for you...

Saints And Sailors

(Dashboard Confessional)

This is where I say I've had enough

No one should ever feel the way that I feel now.

A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises

And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.

Any better.
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring

And I'm thinking awful things

Pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartment is starving for an argument.

Anything at all to break the silence.
Wandering this house like I've never wanted out

And this is about as social as I get now.

And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you

Cause they would never do, I would never do.Never
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring

And I'm thinking awful things

Pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartment is starving for an argument.

Anything at all to break the silence.
So don't be a liar,Don't say that everything's working when everything's broken.

And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor

And you might say the jokes on me.
well I’m not laughing

You’re not leaving

Who do I think I am kidding,

When I’m the only one locked in this cell.
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring

And I'm thinking awful things

Pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartment is starving for an argument.

Anything at all to break the silence.
So don't be a liar

Don't say that everything's working when everything's broken.

And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor

And you might say the jokes on me.

Bedeviled? ayayay

saturday was kikay day...read nalang what happened in Ayn and Tin's blog or for a more detailed kwento sa blog ni Myls...ayoko na ng paulit ulit ulit ulit ulit...


Tin having her overhaul :P

Things to remember:

1. Do not wear a top that will make you look like a butterfly. I saw Karen Davila last sat..ay sus! flap your wings at lilipad ka na iha!
2. If you are wearing low rise jeans, make sure that nothing bulges out! Please! If you have bilbil (just like me) at least make sure that your top will cover your bilbil
3. No panty lines please! or Panties that show on top of the pants/jeans. If you idolized Britney and Cristina, let them be the slutty ones. They're paid big bucks to be one you're not.
4. If you're going to be brave and mix colors, make sure that they actually mix or the colors match! Think color wheel. Think color wheel! At iha sana keri mo...
5. Are Morticia adams and Cleopatra's looks in right now? I don't think so! May isang babaita na nagpagupit ng ala cleopatra...nye! (as in Jon nye)..ang your panget hair complimented your panget face (devil emoticon here)
6. Wear shoes that actually fit you. I had an aunt who used to buy my cousins rubber shoes and slip ons that were a size bigger. Reason? Because kids grow fast. Sayang daw ang shoes. DUH! Sayang din your brains tita!
7. Wear pants that fit you esp in the butt area
8. Ruffles are in style..NOT! The ruffles and peasant chorva are not in style. Even people wore that horrendous peasant blouse I never got myself one...why kse di naman gumapang sa lusak ang drama ko!
9. In connection with # 6, wear shoes that won't wobble everytime you take a step. And make sure that you yourself won't wobble.
10. Don't dress like a xmas tree.
11. Your Karate outfit is not something that you wear when going on a gimik.
12. Sunvisors. From the name palang should be worn pag may araw!
13. Don't wear outfits that show your bra. PUH-LEASE! I don't wanna know if your white bra is already yellowish na. I know what a bra looks like. I don't need you to show me anymore.
14. Don't wear carpet prints. Gusto mo maupuan?
15. Uso ba ang bading look? Please!
16. If from a dress up party (yknow,hotel debuts or weddings), and you and you're friends are going out, you might wanna bring extra clothes na pang gimik no!

Sunday, August 1, I had lunch in mainit na Don Hen in Glorietta with Lisa, Edwin, Dex, Karla, Leo and Carroll who now goes by the name Carlo or Carlos. Then coffee in Starbucks G4. Before we had warmed out seats, we had to go to the activity center to help out a friend whose company had a booth there. (Commercial: for ringbacks go to http://www.dmc.ph/) They needed 5 people to go on stage or something something. Akala ko naman na it was something hard or nakakahiya. So na tv po ako at nainterview ng konti on-stage w along with my guy friends. yun lang. ang corny no!