I just want to re-post this:

Five rules to be happy.

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

For the last couple of weeks or months na ata I've been dependent on my dear mom na.....at the moment i wake up I immediately have this NEED to call out her name mmmooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyy!!!! and she'll come running na agad asking what i want. but when she arrives at my side di naman ako nagsasalita. i guess it was more of the need to feel her presence lang. then she'll fuss over me na and ask if i wanna eat or what i wanna eat....thing is, i've never been close to my mom. when i was growing up, i actually despised her kse she made my life like "hell" but at this age, i've learned to appreciate her na and everything that she has taught me..she may not be the perfect mom but hey you only get one mother...so sana everything works out with our papers para we can all be together na...i wanna leave na din..as much as possible i don't want to stay here na...too much bad memories...too much...

when I saw kirk's picture with his girlfriend, i cried. i cried because I miss him. i cried because....i dunno...y'know i'm just a simple girl..a normal person who wants to be with the man she loves...to find that one person destined to hold my hand until my last dying breath...the one who will father my beautiful children..the one who will make me kwento till I fall asleep...the one who I can lean on to when I am to weak to stand on my own...someone who's kiss makes me weak in the knees...someone who'll sing to me and slow dance with me....haayyy....

...the wonderings of all plain women....what must it be like to be loved? What must it be like to look into the eyes of a lover and know that he sees only you and finds in you all that he has dreamed of for his life's mate...foolishness!!!

Been out of circulation since wednesday coz I got sick..my body finally broke down on its own because its owner couldn't just stop and rest. It was my body finally putting its foot down and telling me to rest...even my mom got mad....

can't make too much kwento...still a bit weak...just pray for me please...thanks :)

Hands to Heaven
(by Breathe)

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
Who'll relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
Who'll relieve my sadness

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Lord....you know what is in it my heart...

"I’" going to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out all day long. Them after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and breathe in and out. And then after a while, I won’t have to think about how I had it great and pefect for a while" (Sleepless in Seattle)

I do not want to go back to the hellhole that I was in when all these started...I WILL NOT I WILL NOT I WILL NOT!!!!! So as the newbie master said (yes, Jon that's you!) I should learn to forget about him.

Wala akong fone.....ang hirap pala ng wlang fone..shiettttt..as Ces said "sayang yung 7650 mo. They're not worth it."

So for anyone out there who has an extra fone ...pwede pahiram... :)

Lord, give me strength...

“If you wanna kiss the sky,
better learn how to kneel.” (Bono, U2)

Finding the right person is very hard and very wrong...
it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there...you'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define a "right person" for you...and don't rush things coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you."

Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it. Try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are,
and what you really want in a relationship. You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship,
but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it.
If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try.
You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made.

If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. you'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life. It's really hard to say goodbye though,
but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a
much needed attention. Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself.

We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go.
We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life.
We misunderstood, its just that we're too much dependent to them. We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just insecurity.

But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart.
You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come.
It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it can also make you the
most miserable person in the whole galaxy...

Its official..I am back to square one...one comment and there I was bawling my eyes out...

fuck myspace and friendster!!! I'm gonna kill the loser who invented it...shit, come to think of it..mas loser ako kse I patronize it...LOSER KA BELLE...

There was a comment in myspace by a friend of THAT GIRL affected me soooo much....that I called him and while talking to him....threw my dear phone and broke it in half..so now I'm not the only one broken but also my phone that..the one that he bought me :(

The message was this:

SO SO SO SO!!! ITS MARCH 7, 2004 HUH?? HAHAHHAHAHAA.....SO YO FEELIN GOOD MAN! HAHAHAHHAHA WELL CONGRATS!!HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA I HPE GNET WNT KICK ME FOR THIS HAHAHAHHA THANX FOR THE COOKIES HAHAHA :p

The girl who posted that there was nothing going on with the other girl and A and that it was just a joke but I told her na sana the next time she thinks about other people naman before she does something like that kse nakakasakit sya...she seemed nice naman but then again she is her friend so hanggang myspace lang kme....

So now I...back to square one ako.....shit...when will this stop!!!!!!!! But its ok....just give me strength Lord. Just give me strength and I will be ok.

"In life, God doesn’t give you the people you want, instead he gives you the people you need. . . to teach you, to hurt you, to love you. . . to make you exactly the way you should be."

Today, I wasn't s'posed to go to work coz I wasn't feeling good when I woke up but when I was about to call the office, I saw my messages from other sups asking me to take care of some things...so I guess, sick or not, I have no other choice...pasok po tayo...i'm sick..tired...badly in need of sleep...emotionally and physically drained but we still have to work...I just hope that something comes out of it though...Im not asking much..I just wanna prove something to someone and of course gusto po natin ma promote....since I sacrificed another offer for this.


"I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.
I believe in love, even when i do not feel it.
I believe in God, even when He is silent."

I miss him.... :( I haven't been crying lately except last night...I cried sa cab until I fell asleep....please...sana I won't go back to how I was before....I can't endure going through that again...this time baka maloka na tlaga ako ng tuluyan....PLEASE LORD NOT AGAIN....

SMILE by Tamia

Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
Truly loved me yes
I learned a while ago that kind of thing
Never happens for me
And so I go around
And just pretend
Loving life for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

Sometimes I sit at home
By the phone hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
Not like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends
I’m into other things
Because you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

It’s not an easy (thing)
Sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth)
It’s not the life that I would choose (that I

would choose)
But what else can I do?
If he don’t love me
If he don’t want me
I’m not about to sit around
Let myself go

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

haaayyy so kelan ba magkakatotoo iotng horoscope ko????

When it comes to love and romance, things are definitely in your favor lately, dear Virgo.
The thing to be aware of today, however, is that there might be some manipulation on the part of someone close to you. Take care that someone else's need for freedom isn't negatively affecting your relationship in any way. Communication is key in order to maintain a healthy romance at any level.

Suicide! (and you know it, so... dont u have
something to do?)


Choose your Dramatic Death (Now w/pics!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Sandals- peaceful, daydreamy, and thoughtful, you
often find yourself staring into space. When
you aren't out volunteering you are often just
dreaming away. You enjoy the company of
friends sometimes but enjoy peace and quiet.
[please vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Immortal.

Your Lyrics

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me


What Evanescence song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

How does one know when one should stop holding on and hoping for the one you love to come back????

"It's when you are the only one left in a battle. And you are the only one too eager to stay."

Just saw a pic of Vanessa's baby Van Antoinette...she is absolutely the cutest baby that I have ever seen.. ***gosh*** I WANT ONE!!!!!

I've always been vocal about wanting kids...whether biological or not it doesn't matter...I love kids...I love babies...sana nga my own pero since di pwede sana merong stork bna bigla nalang magdadala ng bata sa akin...sana kamukha ka..cute...hahahahaha feelingera...I tried asking na sa mga adoption houses pero since I'm young and single they won't allow it...kj!

Inaangkin ko na nga yung baby ni Van e...I'll post a pic once I am able to upload it...

5 Ways God Uses Problems

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them.
Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.

People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience." James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.

Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship... by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm 119:71-72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good... Genesis 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point:

God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

"Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned, lives touched and moments shared along the way."

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give
it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge .. LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new lev! el in Him... LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for you LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"

"It's like my life was getting good... I was driving toward the right exit but I got into an accident while changing lanes."
- JL Farley

Lord, I need to get over him...I need to get over missing him...I need to get over wanting and needing him...I need to Lord...now more than ever...I have taken baby steps into recovery already please don't let me go back to the hell hole I was before...I have started to see the light in a very very long and dark tunnel...I do not want to lose sight of that light again...please Lord...I beg you...

"Love isn't like a cold. You can't just get over it."- JL Farley

Today was s'posed to be my restday but they asked me to render ot for coverage since there'll be no sme available. More OT more money for shopping...ulk pambayad utang pala muna..hahahaha...

Saya saya ko kse when I got here katabi ko si Andre my A look a like...Minsan nakaka offend when people say na "ano ka ba may asawa na yun?' Hello tanga ba ko to think na may mangyayari pa sa amin...bajesus! I like him kse he's nice and he's really really likeable and ngayon hinihiritan na ko no..I like him din kse he reminds me of A and that is it. Wala pong pagnanasa on the side. But there this DR rep that I like not like as in really like but more of crush...ay...basta mababa lang not like tlaga...iba kse tlaga ako pag nagka crush e...

Shiyet....I have never been sooo envious of Jean's current love life happenings.......aaarrrrggghhhhh nakakainggit...sana ako din pero please not that matagal...sana bukas na...or next week.....

So Jean, no matter what other say...follow your heart dear...you gotta take risks girl...just be happy...just be happy...

a YM message from a friend that I had kept:

kyutninia: uy belle omigosh!
kyutninia: kakaiyak naman nakalagay sa blog mo...
kyutninia: i never knew....
kyutninia: shucks....
kyutninia: girl dont worry....i prayed for you...
kyutninia: while readin' your messages i whispered a prayer to Kuya Jess....
kyutninia: he said everythin' will be fine and while your sweetik is not beside you...Kuya Jess is takin' his place for the meantime...
kyutninia: kaya hold on ha...wag ka na iyak...
kyutninia: stay pretty and be happy na ha...basta andito lang kami always for you....
kyutninia: this sat, we'll pick you up 'round 6 pm and then we'll go to Dex's place to party ha...
kyutninia: love yah....




I Miss you by Blink 182


Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
(I miss you miss you)

Check this out You'd be able to check what or who you were in your past life. Mine says:

The Oracle says:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You were male in your last Earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of modern Turkey approximately in 825.
Your profession was craftsman, mechanic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
You always liked to travel, to investigate, you may have been a detective or spy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson that your last lifetime has brought to the present:
Your lesson - the development and expansion of your mental consciousness. Find a good teacher, and spend a part of your time and energy contemplating his wisdom.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I decided to stay...I realized that I'm better off here in Manila than in Cebu. My family is here...my support group...my friends...practically everyone...Thanks to my TM Gil for knocking me to my senses. Whew! I almost wasted a foundation that I had built for myself for almost 3 years. Thanks Gil :)

I've to respect the guy. He's definitely better than PENGUIN. He has better client knowledge and the number characteristic that the guy has that penguins doesnt is people skills. One can talk to the guy without feeling na you're talking to a manager or someone higher than you. He also addresses you not as a subordinate or someone he can look down on. Another thing, he greets you. Si penguin, kilala lang ako un kung may ipapagawa. that's it. pero sa labas akala mo di nya ko kilala. kupal. mamatay na sana sya. kaya tuloy ang panget nya e. reflects his kalooban. im sorry sobrang hatest ko lang tlaga sya kse KUPAL sya.

After my shift, I met up with A in 7-11 to talk about the latest chismis that I heard about THAT GIRL. I told him na that I have had enough and that I do not want another chismis or kwento about her or them to ever reach me ever again. I asked him (more of ordered nga e..) to make her shut up or I will. Yes I know it was kinda harsh pero please naman...medyo gumagawa na ata sya ng kwento para lang mapansin sya e...I was soooo angry last night to the point na I was crying na because of anger. PuÑeta minsan lang ako magsasalita at magagalit about it sa kanya and he knows na when I do say something it really is that mabigat na or sobra sobra na. We talked till 430am (so much for going home early) and he did understand naman from where I am coming from and why I reacted that way. That was wednesday early morning. When we met up again wednesday night, he said na he spoke na daw with that girl and of course, she denied it. Well whoever did spread those rumours about them and whoever made sure it reached me, shut up.

FYI lang din to everyone, Adrian and I did not break up because of a third party. We broke up because we had issues that could not be resolved. That is it. We are friends now. Or at least trying to be.

"And sometimes you just didn't want to know the end
because how can the end be happy?
How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened?
But in the end it's only a passing thing
this shadow
Even darkness must pass
A new day will come
and when the sun shines
it will shine out clear"