will I go ba or not to fete tonight??? Sabe ng bro ni Adrian (my jerk ex) pupunta daw sila magkakapatid..pakeng shiyet..there goes my saturday night plans..

aarrgghhhh!!! still trying to find the perfect template...i've been wanting to change my template or skin but so far I haven't found the perfect-now template...Tin said na dapat daw wag black na...pag pinkie pinkie kaya or yellow maganda...

Just in case you're going to Fete De La Musique (tama ba?)

Here's the sked that was posted in Friendster:

The Fete de la Musique organizers released a
FINAL schedule (I hope). Below is the
Alternative Stage play schedule with SunDownMuse:

Alternative
CYBERMALL
Indoor Stage

TIME ARTIST
9:00 - 9:20 Mojofly
9:20 - 9:40 Nityalila
9:40 - 10:00 Sundownmuse
10:10 - 10:30 Pinwheel
10:30 - 10:50 Coffee Shop Conspiracies
10:50 - 11:10 The Brockas
11:10 - 11:30 Playphonics
11:30 - 11:50 Bridge
12:00 - 12:20 Spongecola
12:20 - 12:40 Nancy Drool
12:40 - 1:00 Paramita
1:00 - 1:20 Narda
1:30 - 1:50 Zarah Smith
1:50 - 2:10 Session Road
2:10 - 2:30 Kitchie Nadal
2:30 - 2:50 Moonstar 88
2:50 - 3:10 Barbie's Cradle

Head on over to Eastwood, Libis tomorrow night
guys! Hope to see you guys there!



SMILE

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear
May be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on tryin'
Smile, what's the use of cryin'
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'd just smile

Smile

throughout my brokenhearted stage, blogginh helped me a lot-a lot. He asked at first not to write anything in my blog about what happened..HA! Fat chance. You left and hurt me and you except me to do what you ask? Mag isip isip tayo a. He knows my blog site. He knows everything--from my passwords to all my number..ganyan po tlaga pag matagal kayo nagsama sa isang bahay...that's why when he left, i had to change my #s, my passwords---lahat tlaga..it was so tedious. not to mention masakit. kse it was like re-programming one's life. Parang may magpa re-image ng pc mo tapos lahat ng files mo nawala...it's something that you don't want to do but you have to...hhaaayyyy...but despite of what happened, I never gave up my blog. kesehodang mabasa nya ang mga nangyayari sa buhay ko. What happened to me was the result of your thoughtless and heartless action. In your face. Nasaktan ako so ano ngayon? I'm writing this because of what's happening to amgine...girl, you've read everything that has happened to me...from that gather strength...know that THIS TOO SHALL PASS! 4 months ago, I never thought na I'd be as strong as I am now. But look at me! Look at me. I still have my lonely moments but hey, mas madami ang happy moments ko ngayon. Gather strength from your friends, family, GOD and from yourself...its like singing. You can't sing well if you don't draw breathe from within...so just breathe...it may difficult now but one day...one day you will breathe life again...and sing.



Woman-to-Woman Encouragement

Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest
woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes -- might be lonely.
And the word says if I have not Love, I am nothing.

So, again, love you. Love who you are right now and let God be your barometer. Mirror Him.
Look in the mirror in the morning and see how much of God you see. He's the only standard and even when
you come up short; he will not leave you or forsake you. Smile and may God continue to BLESS YOU Real GOOD!!

"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
"The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything."
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."

Don't Cry Out Loud
(Melissa Manchester)

Baby cried the day the circus came to town,
'Cause she didn't want parades just passing by her.
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown,
While she danced without a net upon the wire.
I know a lot about her, 'cause you see,
Baby, is an awful lot like me.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud..
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.

Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down,
They left behind her dreams among the litter.
And the different kind of love she thought she'd found,
There was nothing left but sawdust and some glitter.
But Baby can't be broken, 'cause you see,
She had the finest teacher, that was me.
I told her:

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost made it.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.

"A heart can be broken but it goes on beating just the same" (Fried Green Tomatoes)

For all my "good apple" friends and new blogger (louanne, wythcgurl, francis...) friends as well...our time will come...

Something Beautiful
(Robby Williams)

You can’t manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
And love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyse everyone you meet
But get no sign the loving kind
Every night you admit defeat
And cry yourself blind

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
And the past that cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

It'll come your way
It'll come your way some kind of beautiful
It'll come your way some kind of beautiful
It'll come your way some kind of beautiful
It'll come your way

All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no no no
Forgot the time feeling petrified
When they lived alone

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way



"Sometimes I'm tempted to become a street person, cut off from society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits."

Got the article below from Wytchgurl. Read through all my broken hearted friends...

When is it really over?

This is one of the mornings after another sleepless nights that I cannot help ask myself, why didn't I have a goodnight sleep again? then I would just joke myself and answer it with, maybe someone's been thinking of me all night...ha ha ha ha!

Jokes are always half meant, a friend said once. And maybe...just maybe, behind that joke, there's this wishful thinking that someone from the past would again, bounce in my head... disturb my sanity and make my day half-miserable.

What if he's thinking about me? What if he still loves me? It's just another imagination, I know. Another day of what if and maybe's. For the 9th time, I've told myself that when it's over, it's really over! there's no sense turning back or even trying to pick up the pieces again. It's time to move on and face the reality?

When it's over, is it really over?

When you decide to let go, Do you really succeed in letting go? I just heard the latest song of Sugar Ray a while ago. Here's the first few lines that caught my attention:

When it's over That's the time I fall in love again.

When it's over That's the time you're in my arms again.....

How can you possibly say it's over when you're still in love with the person you said you were over with already? I guess it's not that easy when the chain of the past locks you in the chest of false hopes and lead to a place called fantasy with Cinderella and Snow White as you best friends! The three of you gather on the hilltop and after a while three young drop-head gorgeous princess would come riding on their horses to join the picnic under a tree.

How pathetic! But, admit it or not. It's true.... The hardest part of losing a loved one is to accept the fact that they're gone and might never come back again. There are things that will always remind you of your togetherness... the places you've been, his/her favorite food you used to cook for her/him, expressions you used to hear from his/her song you both loved to sing. These are the memories that'd linger in your mind from time to time. Because you were both in love before (or so you think so), it makes you hope for another chance. You begin to believe on what others said that LOVE IS LOVELIER THE SECOND TIME AROUND and the line from Ally Mcbeal,

"Whoever said that 'plenty of the fish in the sea' thing is lying. Sometimes there's only one...trust me..."

We would desperately believe that what happens in the movies might also happen to us one day. Who didn't like the lines from the movie "Runaway Bride" where Julia Roberts told Richard Gere,

"I guarantee that we'll have tough time; I guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret this for the rest of my life, coz' I know in my heart...you're the only one for me."

We tend to think that the person who left us will come back one day and say those things as trials to be conquered in order for the relationship to bloom and mature.

OuUccHh....Reality just bit me!

More often than not, these romantic movies and mushy love songs only make us long for something we cannot have... and for someone who cannot be our's again. It hurts to admit that we are just pretending. All the while we already knew the truth but we ignore it. When the damage is done, there's nothing left to do but cry... to mourn for the bitterness in our hearts. Then curse anybody who gets in the way.

I'm scared!!! Really I am.

As long as we still hold on to the past, the chance of meeting someone new may be a bit far off the field. The fear of trusting and falling in love again may also hinder us to grow and move on. We are hesitant to take the risk, afraid that we may get hurt again. Because of the negative thoughts stocked in our brains, we refuse to go out from our self made world and deprive ourselves from new opportunities, whether in love affairs or career wise.

Let's face it!

Betrayal can be anywhere and anyone can be a victim. The worst part is when one we truly, madly, deeply love is the one who will betray us in the end. Then we are left with nothing but a broken heart and wounded pride. Sad...but true!

Reality check please....

It can happen to anyone, but we shouldn't just take things as it comes. An action must be done. We should take care of ourselves from the hungry wolves in the jungle. It's matter of survival. Stand up when you fall. It's ok to cry as hard as long as you want to, just make sure that when you stop crying, you won't cry for the same reason anymore. Learn and live. LOVE IS THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ONE CAN OFFER, so be smart enough to give the love in your heart to the one who really deserve it...


I just read the article below in CNN

Can vole experiment prevent cheating lovers?

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- What would you give for a simple injection that would stop your lover from cheating?

Well, at least it works for meadow voles.

A single gene inserted into the brain can change promiscuous male rodents into faithful, monogamous partners, scientists said Wednesday.

It may not be as easy to rein in human philanderers but researchers at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center of Emory University and Atlanta's Center for Behavioral Neuroscience said their rodent results could help to explain the neurobiology of romantic love.

"Our study ... provides evidence in a comparatively simple animal model, that changes in the activity of a single gene profoundly can change a fundamental social behavior of animals within a species," said Larry Young a researcher at the university.

He and his colleagues, who reported their research in the science journal Nature, used a harmless virus to transfer the gene for a key hormone involved in sexual behavior from monogamous prairie voles into the brains of their randy relatives, the meadow voles.

After the gene transfer, the previously promiscuous meadow voles had less of a roving eye and showed a distinct preference for their current partners.

Earlier research had shown that prairie voles, which form life-long partnerships, had higher levels of receptors for the hormone vasopressin in an area of the brain called the ventral pallidum, than meadow voles.

Introducing the gene increased the natural levels of the receptor and enhanced the meadow voles' ability to form pair bonds.

Previous studies have also suggested that the receptors may play a role in disorders such as autism, and that brain pathways involved in romantic relationships also play a part in drug addiction.

"It is intriguing," said Young, "to consider that individual differences in vasopressin receptors in humans might play a role in how differently people form relationships."

The Breakup Test: Are you ready to move on?

You're Ready for Mr. Right (24-30 points)
Congratulations! You survived the breakup, but even better, you've picked yourself up and dusted off that post-relationship rubble. Maybe it took a while, but all that TLC that you've given yourself lately has finally paid off! From divvying up the stuff, to finding your place in the Newly Single's Scene, you've captured all the closure you need. Look out boys, here you come!

Went out with Marc last night. We ate at Mediterranean Cafe (i think...I forgot the name na) and their Chicken Kebab with couscous was delicious! There goes my unintentional after 6 diet! After dinner, we made tambay in Gloria Jean's (tama ba?) where their coffee and mango juice are...BLECH! walang kwenta! Don't go to that coffee shop. So not worth it!

artistahin pala ako...bwahahahaha!

when we're in Toby's, this old lady went up to me, chucked me under my chin and said "So beautiful! You wanna be an ABS-CBN actress?"

hahahaha o da ba pwede pala akong pang Star Circle ...halloween batch



A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

Somebody told me that she saw my ex and his new gf...i really wasn't hurt...medyo lang...why i dunno...i guess I'm 100% over that jerk...pero bakit kailangan pa sabihin sa akin...

Tears, Idle Tears
(Tennyson)

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more.

bad trip..etong post na to....3 days in waiting...i didnt want to post anything muna kse..vain ako!!! karma ito! yan tuloy nasira tong post na to..bad trip..napilitan i-post at baka masira ulet

My horoscope for Saturday, June 12:

Thinking about a commitment? Great. Except if it happens, it might involve a long-distance move. If you're not ready to pack up, better formulate Plan B.

***ayayay, what is this***

I LOVE THIS GAME

One of my fave movies will be celebrating its 15th anniversary today. Field of Dreams...started my love of the game...when we were kids I remember that I bullied my older bro to play catch with me (at times hitting him with my bat or throwing extra hard). But I usually played with my younger brother cz he was a better player. We played catch at the back of the car on our way to Baguio or while waiting for our mom. We played in my lolo's pulo (manggahan). We played in Clark with the servicemen that used to be stationed there. We played in our garden (kaya nasira mga plants ng mom ko and when we blamed the rats!). We played anywhere and everywhere. I'd ask my dad to bring us to Dau where that Px "mall" used to be so that I can scrounge for used Baseball stuff. In my book, used Baseball mitts are better. I pestered my dad to bring me to Rizal Coliseum to watch our National Baseball team play during one of the SEA games that was held here. I love watching Baseball games...seems to me that I'm the only one who gets the kick out of it and finds it as exciting as Basketball pag last 2 minutes nalang...childhood dreams that we're traded for "real-life" and grown-up dreams...how I wish that i could play again...wanna play catch?


Other Baseball movies that I love are:

For love of the Game: also starring Kevin Costner


'61 (TV Movie)

Here are some quotes:

Field of Dreams:

"Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come"
--
Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: This is my most special place in all the world, Ray. Once a place touches you like this, the wind nevers blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child.
--
Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: Well, you know I... I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance. Just once. To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink. Make him think you know something he doesn't. That's what I wish for. Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases - stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That's my wish, Ray Kinsella. That's my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?
--
Ray Kinsella: Fifty years ago, for five minutes you came within... y-you came this close. It would KILL some men to get so close to their dream and not touch it. God, they'd consider it a tragedy.
Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes... now that would have been a tragedy.


For love of the Game:

[repeated line - his trick for concentration]
Billy Chapel: Clear the mechanism.
--
"Jane Aubrey: What if my face was all scraped off and I was totally disfigured and had no arms and legs and I was completely paralyzed. Would you still love me?
Billy Chapel: No. But we could still be friends."

because I am vain vain vain :p


This was taken by Summer. Ang picture na andami nang nabola hehehehe :D



"I'm trying to win, coach. I ain't trying to disrespect nobody, but winning is the only thing i respect."

...for all the kiss ass people out there...how you get ahead of the rat race I will forever wonder why...

broken, bleeding and laughing all at the same time

A friend was trying to set me up w his officemate-who he could only describe with "ok lang"...haaayyy sana lang this guy's not gonna be as dumb as the last guy I went out with..remember the powerbooks incident?...hay sometimes tlaga MEN can be soooo stupid...anyways, I remeber telling my friend that I'm not looking for a boyfriend...I'm just dating...pahinga muna ako with all that love chorvalu...pahinga muna...

Worse Things in Life

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I have eloped with my new boyfriend. I have found real passion and he is so nice with all his piercings and tattoos, and his big Harley motorcycle. But Its not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his little trailer in the woods. He wants to have many More children with me and that's one of my life long dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and Ecstasies we may want. In the mean time, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure in order for Ahmed to get better, he deserves so Much. Don't worry mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I will come visit so you can get to know your Grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Amanda


P.S..Mom, this is not true. I'm over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the schools report card that is in my desk drawer .........I love you.
-----------------
I want: peace in my heart
I have: me myself and I
I wish: my heart never got broken
I hate: HIM
I miss: ...him and my old self
I fear: being alone
I feel: HOT..mainit yung araw ;P
I hear: eVe
I crave: for Cibo's La Foresta and chocolate
I search: for my life's meaning & purpose & for my one true love
I wonder: when i'd be able to sleep peacefully and w/o interruption
I regret: falling in love
I love: ....................
I ache: to be with someone...to feel someone's arms around me shielding me from all the pain that life has brought
I long: to go back to hongkong!
I care: what other people say
I don't always: fix my room
I am not: always sad
I believe: that tomorrow will be another day!
I dance: when no one is watching
I sing: in the banyo
I cry: for love lost
I always: make sure that i don't hurt anyone
I fight: for what I believe is right
I write: to heal my wounds
I win: ....
I lose:
I listen:
I am happy: NOT!
I expect: nothing.

I am such a sissy...

For the gipper:

Patti Davis recounted Reagan's last moments in her eulogy at the burial service. "I know that at his last moment, when he opened his eyes, eyes that had not opened for many, many days, and looked at my mother, he showed us that neither disease nor death can conquer love," she said

***when will i find such kind of love...?***

2:23AM..got woken up by the TV that was left open...since I can't sleep, I decided to surf...aahhhh peace while surfing...i went through some of my old e-mails and read a letter that I wrote to someone...I posted that same letter early this year...

more later..its 3:25...i want to sleep

According to Wikipedia eto pala ang ating pambansang motto natin: National motto: Maka-Diyos, Maka-Tao, Makakalikasan at Makabansa (Filipino: "For Love of God, People, Nature and Country")..syempre ngayon ko lang nalaman na meron pala tayong national motto..yun lang..ni share ko lang...parang fyi ba..kahit na walang saysay hehehehe



"was born with music inside me. That's the only explanation I know of"
I got the pic above from
CNN...such a sad sad day...

Some day, I'll wish upon a star,
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Way up above the chimney tops
Thats where you'll find me

Relating is...
removing your personalty facades and living in the awareness of who you truly are to each other.

Understanding is...
allowing yourself to experience what the other person feels.

Loving someone is...
giving the love you have for yourself to another.

A broken heart is...
the result of failing to love yourself first.

Your better half is...
the other half of yourself.

Fear is...
not knowing what lies at the bottom of your heart.

Hate is...
the mirror of self-ignorance.

Darkness is....
the black hole in your soul.

Light is....
coming out of a dream.

Balance is....
choosing to be neutral about light and dark.

Unification is...
knowing that in every man is a little bit of woman and in every woman is a little bit of man.

A peaceful world is...
at the end of a dark tunnel.

We have just begun to enter it.

Since my fave team (Indiana Pacers)lost the eastern finals and since it so obvious who's gonna win the NBA Championship and to spite Jon (the angel)--we musn't forget the magic word...I'm posting this:



halata bang walang magawa...

Athena


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla



You Are Flirt-able!
You are the best of both worlds - sexy and friendly, but not in either box.

Your charm is addicting, and you always have plenty of people flirting with you.

And if you want to turn things up, that's always an option for you.

You have plenty of options - without being the person everyone has already done :-)


Are You F***able?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva





Which Sex and the City Vixen Best Matches Your Sex Style?



You Attract A Good Amount of Guys
While you may not get the most offers in the room,

You've got a good thing going - dating wise

You could flirt more and dress up a bit to attract more guys

But in general, you are doing just fine!

Are You Attractive? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

the 34 y/o guy who's been courting me on-line is sooo persistent. He never fails to ask where I am, how I am, how my day was, I ate na, I'm home na and he never fails to lemme know where he is, how he is and how he loves me despite of the distance...last night, he texted me and told me that he just saw a shooting star when he was at the wharf (its a place in san fo) and that he wished that the day will come when I will tell him that I love him. Of all the wishes that he could have uttered, all he wished for was for me to love him.....

"Do you believe in love? I bet you don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Have you ever seen someone and you know that if only that person really know
you, they'd dump the perfect model they were with and realize that you are the one they want to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with someone you've never talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spent the night confusing a guy in a coma?" -WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

Every move you make
by Tom Holladay

“Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make; he's
aware of every step you take.” (Proverbs 5:21, Msg)

The 21st verse of Proverbs 5 has a chameleon quality to it: the way you see the verse is colored by the circumstances you find yourself in.

The verse is good news to me if I'm where I think God wants me to be; giving me energy to do what God wants me to do.

But for all of us there are times when the words, "He’s aware of every step you take," might make us a bit nervous.

There are times when we think, "Lord, could you look somewhere else right now?" This verse then has the feel of, "He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!"

The truth is – God is always there. He knows everything we've done and everything we're doing and everything we're going to do. On hearing this some feel massive guilt – and spend the rest of their lives trying to escape God's "watchful eye."

Great news today! You don't have to live with that burden!! God is a forgiving and loving God!!!

The fact that he sees everything I do shows me how important my life really is. He does not watch me to condemn me, he watches me to love and strengthen me.

Live your life today with the knowledge that even if no one else notices, God does. Even when no one else understands, God does. Even when no one else cares, God certainly does.
Point to ponder: God is always watching – because he loves you.

Verse: “Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make; he's aware of every step you take.” (Proverbs 5:21, Msg)

What will you do about it: If you’ve been avoiding “God’s watchful eye” because you’re feeling guilty or ashamed of something, confess that to God right now. Believe that he loves you and forgives you – and move on.

Prayer: Thank God that he loves you so much he can’t take his eyes off you.
---------

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you'll see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that because two people argue,it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people that you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love and be loved.
I'VE LEARNED ...

I learnt all of these the hard way---the very hard way. I wish that no one of you would ever go through what I went through. I would never wish the same pain on anyone else...

"Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

For the first time in my almost 3 year stay in PS, I went to the company outing. We went to Club Manila East last sunday after my shift. The place was nice pala..shucks...sana pala I brought my stuff...sayang..but we plan to go back...da ba da ba???

Even my horoscope for last sunday agreed w me:

Sunday, June 6:

Don't even try to be dutiful. You've done enough of that. Today was made for fun, and you're definitely due. Turn off all electronic gadgets and grab your sunscreen

sows!

For Monday, June 7:

You'll definitely be in the mood for something different -- and maybe someone different, too. Don't argue with the Cosmos. Cooperate, and you'll have your choice of goodies from the grab-bag.

So..what has fate in store for me?!?!?! I can't wait I can't wait...but p-l-e-a-s-e NO MORE HEARTACHES!!! one more and I might not live through it anymore...

Whenever i pray, I always make it a point to thank God for giving me so much strenght. so much indeed. I know that I am still in love with him and I am still pining for him but, honestly, I don't feel anything whenever I see him. I don't feel anything whenever he crosses my mind. I don't feel anything whenever I hear him talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Nothing and I don't know why. But, let's not question why, let's just be thankful that I am. Maybe I really don't care anymore. Maybe I don't love him anymore...maybe maybe...we never know...Love and God...what a team...what a team...

"And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on...."..

"Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you."

"Richard: I thought you said you didn’t need a man.
Ally: I don’t.
Richard: What’s this all about then?
Ally: I want one.”

..there it is..there is my need...

"I know I've got it great, really, good job, good friends, loving family, total freedom, and long bubblebaths. What else could there be?"

Growing With Someone

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, "You don't own because you didn't ask" God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful spouse.

I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about. As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse.One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart :"My servant, I cannot give you what you want" I asked, "Why God?" God said "Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right" I asked "God, I don't understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?"God answered, " I will explain.

It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive; however, you are very insensitive...." He then said to me : "It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one.

Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long an education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow with.

As I was walking out of Paseo Center where I heard mass, I went back and asked the priest if he would hear my confession. And so, in the middle of Paseo Center (just between seattle's and that cake kiosk..hehehehe...), the priest heard my confession. Last January was my first confession after so many month of being a wandering Catholic. I cried then. The priest wasn't that forgiving. After that, I confessed again on Good Friday. The priest was better. I cried then. Then in today's confession, the priest was good. In all 3 confessions, I confessed a lot of things but my # 1 sin was my unforgiving nature. In all 3 confessions, I cried. The priest said that, I should not be guilty that I am still unable to forgive. That I shouldn't be angry at myself for being mad and unforgiving to those who have hurt me because I am still hurting. God, he says, will heal me...will take away all of my hurts...will take away all of my pain...will take away all of my anger at the right time. That I will be healed......in time and that I just be patient.

The Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to
save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again. A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.

But the Hindu said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why
should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"

Don't give up loving. Don't give up your goodness... Even if people around you sting.
(ah, i should tell this to myself...)


"Teach me your way, O Lord and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever" (psalm 86: 11-12)

"There's nothing lonelier than being with the wrong guy."

Remember the guy that my mom was pairing my with? The one from the states? Well, he's been sorta making me ligaw...weird huh? in this day and age, one can make ligaw over a thousand miles away...he's 34 y/o and yet he's such a romantic...he keeps on saying i love you and that I'm he's baby and he calls me just that. It's so sweet of him. And I know that he's waiting for me to tell him na I love him but I can't. I told him na I don't love him. I wasn't being cruel and he understands. I told him na I have never fallen in love with someone 6 meters away from me nor am I gonna fall in love with someone who is about an ocean away from me...but despite of that he still keeps on telling me na he loves me and that I'm his baby...such a sweetie ...but then again...i don't wanna keep his hopes up nor do I wanna put some insane idea in my head and heart that I love him just because I need to be with someone right now. Right now, my heart is off limits. Pahinga muna ako. After all the bruises, cuts, scrapes and wounds that I got, I need time to heal. When I'll be ready..my heart will know...


"Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.
Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone."



bloghopping...i read these..aren't they sweet aawwwww...

At Darkwinter's, blog links, she described me--errrr--my blog pala as this :

Beautiful words from an equally beautiful person. Peer through the eyes of a real romantic who seem to have fleed from love's grasp just to dip her toe in the water. Good things!


In Merry Christmas' blog, she had this to say :
Her name means beauty in French. So, I guess that says it all.




Rare Transit of Venus: June 8, 2004
Get ready for an extremely special, very rare astronomical event: On Tuesday, June 8, the silhouette of Venus will cross the disc of the Sun. It's like an extraordinary kind of eclipse -- the last time it happened was in 1882. This won't happen again until 2012, and after that not until 2117.

The Strangest Secret
"Our Changing World" Radio Transcript
By Earl Nightingale

When we say "nearly five percent of men and women achieve success" then we have to define success. The following is the best definition we've found: "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."

If a person is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where to go, then that person is successful. If a person does not know which direction they want to go in life, then that person is a failure.

"Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."

Therefore, who succeeds?

The only person who succeeds is the person who is progressively realizing a worthy ideal The person who says, "I'm going to become this"… and then begins to work toward becoming it.

Have you ever wondered why so many men and women work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular? Why others do not seem to work hard at all and yet get everything? We sometimes think it is the magic touch or pure luck. We often say, "Everything they touch turns to gold." Have you ever noticed that a person who becomes successful tends to continue this pattern of success? Or on the other hand, how a person who fails seems to continually fail?

Well, the answer is simple -- those who succeed have established personal goals.

Success is not the result of making money; making money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service.

Here are five steps that will help you realize success:

Establish a definite goal.
Stop running yourself down.
Do not think of all the reasons why you cannot be successful -- instead think of all the reasons why you can achieve success.
Trace your emotions back to childhood -- discover where you first got the negative idea you would not be successful -- face your fears.
Renew your self-image by writing a description of the person you want to become -- Act the part -- You are that person!
George Bernard Shaw said:

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

Well, that is pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed – for a while – that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.

Now, it stands to reason that a person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that's what he's thinking about. And we become what we think about.

Conversely, the man who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion and anxiety and fear and worry, becomes what he thinks about. His life becomes one of frustration and fear and anxiety and worry.

And if he thinks about nothing…he becomes nothing.

So decide now. What is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind. It's the most important decision you'll ever make in your entire life. All you've got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, and work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

How do you begin?

First: It is understanding emotionally as well as intellectually that we literally become what we think about; that we must control our thoughts if we're to control our lives. It's understanding fully that…"as ye sow, so shall ye reap."

Second: It's cutting away all fetters from the mind and permitting it to soar as it was divinely designed to do. It's the realization that your limitations are self-imposed and that the opportunities for you today are enormous beyond belief. It's rising above narrow-minded pettiness and prejudice.

Third: It's using all your courage to force yourself to think positively on your own problems, to set a definite and clearly defined goal for yourself. To let your marvelous mind think about your goal from all possible angles; to let your imagination speculate freely upon many different possible solutions. To refuse to believe that there are any circumstances sufficiently strong to defeat you in the accomplishment of your purpose. To act promptly and decisively when your course is clear. And to keep constantly aware of the fact that you are, at this moment, standing in the middle of your own "acres of diamonds."

And fourth: Save at least 10 percent of every dollar you earn.

It's also remembering that, no matter what your present job, it has enormous possibilities – if, you're willing to pay the price by keeping these four points in mind:

You will become what you think about.
Remember the word "imagination" and let your mind begin to soar.
Courageously concentrate on your goal every day.
Save 10 percent of what you earn.
Finally, take action – ideas are worthless unless we act on them.

***

Eight Steps to Problem Solving
by: Brian Tracy

There is a simple eight step method for systematic problem solving. By solving problems in an orderly way, you can dramatically increase the power of your thinking.

First, approach the problem with the expectant attitude that there is a logical practical solution just waiting to be found. Be relaxed, calm, confident and clear in your mind.

Second, change your language from negative to positive. Instead of the word "problem," use the word "situation," Problem is a negative word while situation is a neutral word. "We have an interesting situation", is better than, "We have a problem."

The third step in systematic problem-solving is to define the situation clearly, in writing. "Exactly what is the situation?" Then ask, "What else is the situation?" Sometimes stating the problem in different words makes it much easier to solve.

Fully 50% of situations can be resolved by accurate definition.

Step number four is to, ask "What are all the possible causes of this situation?" Failure to identify the causes or reasons for the situation often causes you to have to solve it again and again. Fully 25% or more of situations can be effectively dealt with by discovering the correct causes.

Step number five is to ask, "What are all the possible solutions?" Write out as many solutions or answers to the situation as possible before moving on. The quantity of possible solutions usually determines the quality of the solution chosen.

Step number six is to "Make a clear decision." Usually any decision is better than none.

Step number seven is to "Assign clear responsibility for carrying out the decision and then set a deadline for completion and review.” Remember, a decision without a deadline is just a fruitless discussion.

Finally, step number eight is to follow-up, monitor the decision, compare actual results with expected results and then generate new solutions and new courses of action.

Now, here are two ways you can apply this technique to think more creatively.

First, state the problem clearly, in writing, so that you know exactly what it is that you are trying to solve. Ask, “What else is the problem?”

Second, develop as many solutions as you possibly can, including doing nothing, before you make a decision. Quality of ideas is in direct proportion to the quantity that you generate.

no choices in the horizon right now just a lonely road ahead with no sight of a friend or foe..just me...and here I am walking on this road not knowing where I am headed or where I'm going..all I know is that I'm on my way wherever my tired feet will take me...and of course, with a smile on my face...


Under the Tuscan sun:

"Life offers you a thousand chances ... all you have to do is take one." under the tuscan sun

"Frances:Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.

Martini: No, it's not stupid, Signora Mayes. L'amore e cieco.

Frances: Oh, love is blind. Yeah, we have that saying too.

Martini: Everybody has that saying because it's true everywhere.
---
Frances: What is it about love that makes us so stupid?
---
Frances: What are four walls, anyway? They are what they contain. The house protects the dreamer. Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise.

In line with the karma topic, I'm posting an e-mail that I got from Carroll a couple of years back that I stored in my inbox for years.

The 90/10 Principle

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations at work and at home...)

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daug! hter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.


Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?

Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you reach if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the other motorists ruin your driving? Much more you day?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying; energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life.

Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.

Love is like war,
Easy to begin but hard to end.
~ by Anonymous ~

THE GREATEST ADVISES

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological
clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and
dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

I read in the news that a Filipina American won a Pulitzer Prize for photojournalism...I've long wanted to be a photographer. I always took note of photographs that I came across when surfing the net or browsing thru the paper or a magazine. I was in HS when I started to take pictures. I was even our HS school photographer. I had a professional nikon camera that sadly got stolen during one of our HS fairs. Bwisit. After that I stopped taking pictures. When I got my Nokia 7650, I took pictures whenever I can. You'd be amazed that some of the pictures I'll be posting were taken by my flying phone. When my dad gave me my wonderful Dc..ay naku, I started taking pictures again like a madwoman...So if you wanna see some of the pics that I took go to Joyful Wisdom

"Astrology is the best kind of general absolution. It's not your fault, it's in the stars."

Charmed's last episode in Channel 23 was about karma. Paige said that there is no spell to cleanse one's karma. That there are spells to cleanse one's aura but there is simply no spell for karma. In Cosmo Philippines' June edition, they wrote about karma, too. Last night, Jon and I talked about karma. After what happened to be, I figured out that it was my karma that's why I got hurt the way that I got hurt. It was karma why I i cried the tears that I cried. It was my past coming back to haunt me. For my exes. When I realized that a couple of months ago, I thought of ways that I could clean my karma. Sorta cleaning my slate. I made peace with Carroll. We've been friends for some time na. Even before my break up with A but we never spoke about what happened. He was the first person I spoke to when A and I broke up. He was such a friend. I never expected him to be one and and if he turned away from me then I would've understood but he didn't. We're better friends now and we can talk about anything under the sun. We text and ym almost everyday. He never fails to ask how I am and vice versa. I also made peace with the first guy who broke my heart. William. All these years I never knew why he broke up with me and recently I just found out why. I also found out why he has been trying to come back to me all these years. We're not very good friends kse I chose not to be or we really can't be close friends anymore since we're so different na but we can talk and we don't hate each other. All my anger and resentment were still there pa pala. deep seated anger and resentment towards what he did. But everything's all right now. Now I just need to make peace with Mike. He was the guy I had a relationship with years after William. I didn't love him as much as I should've. My term then was "mahal ko sya kse mahal nya ko". I dunno how to make peace with him since I dunno how to contact him. I'm just gonna pray for him nalang. Now I am more appreciative of people (but still a laitera). I am more aware of how I interact with people-if they got hurt of something that I said or did. I also try to say sorry as much as I can and thank you, too. To simple opening a door for you or saying thank you's. For Little things done done for me. For encouraging words

Hopefully I've really cleaned my slate and my karma is now leveled.

Why can't life ever be easy?


"Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness -- happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love." --Adela Rogers St. Johns



This was taken from a website I chanced upon while browsing.

On 25th May 2004, fifty bottles were released into the sea off the south east coast of England near Ramsgate Maritime Museum, Kent.
The intended destination of the bottles is The Chatham Islands in the South Pacific Ocean. The islands, which are 800km east of mainland New Zealand, are the nearest
inhabited land to the precise location on the opposite side of the world to Ramsgate Maritime Museum. Each bottle contains a message from residents of Ramsgate to the residents of the Chatham Islands, a pencil, an instruction leaflet as well as details of this website.

Several of the bottles are being tracked using GPS technology and are programmed to send their longitude and latitude coordinates back to Ramsgate every hour. The data they send has been used to create a live drawing which is automatically updated in real time.

Got this from CNN: Andrew Mesta suffers a "brain freeze" on May 26 while eating ice cream and brownies as a reward for good behavior and attendance at his grade school in New Mexico

*cute nung kid in a poor way :(


Cielo, a former team mate, said that when she saw this shirt that it reminded her of me...honga! i love shoes..nope, I adore them...shoes and bag are my addictions! When I last counted I had around 37 pairs of 'active' shoes and counting....hehehehehe...my bags..ay, I'd rather not count na...


The question is not why fools fall in love. It is expected of them. When "smart" people fall in love - that's the problem.

A guy that my mom tried to set me up with before asked me the question below:

R: just wanted ask if your open for a new man in your life

I answered yes but deep inside I was still asking myself if I really was...am I? Am I really ready to go into another relationship? Am I ready to go into another relationship without the ghost of the past hanging over me? Am i ready to fall in love again? Am I ready to care about someone again? Am I ready to open myself up to a myriad of emotions again? Am I ready to open my self to getting hurt again?

Am I??? I'm not so sure...I think I'm not ready yet..my rational self says that I'm not but my lonely self says that I am...I followed my heart before and look where I ended up so this time I'm following my brain. I do not want to go into another relationship knowing that deep inside I am still in love with y-know-who. That deep inside my happy strong facade that I put up everyday, I still pine for him and wish that he is here now with me...I need to be fair to myself and to whoever it is I'm gonna be with next that I'm getting into the relationship with no excess baggage and no hang ups. Unfortunately, that time hasn't arrived yet. Here I am still trying to heal myself. Still picking up the shattered pieces of my heart. Still trying to rebuild my life and myself. I just wish that tomorrow when I wake up my love for him has totally vanished into thin air...I wish...I wish...

~o~o~o~o~o

"Someone I cared about said to me that maybe he just can't handle relationships. And
those words broke my heart. It's like hearing someone say he'll be an emotional cripple for the rest of his life because sustaining any kind of relationships be it as a friend or a lover is what makes us human. I don't believe there's "handling" a relationship as much as "building" one, do you? And then I came across these... really good reminders if we want our relationships to stay and for keeps.

1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and forever will take care of itself.
Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever. Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to act as if they are permanent.

2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationships. Lasting
relationships don't just happen, they are created.

3. Respect the other person's relationships apart from you. If they are important to the
one you care about, they should be important to you.

4. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

5. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, if you're giving willingly.

6. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in the name of love." Love is not to be
bargained for.

7. Don't allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.

8. Don't lose touch with the craziness in you. This, with a large dose of caring, will assure that your relationship will never be boring.

9. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever.

10. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I have ulterior motives for wanting to
relate to this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I
planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself? If your answer to any of these questions is "Yes", leave the person alone. He or she is better off without you.

11. Keep the child in you alive and playing.

12. Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve your problems; better to try
understanding, warmth and flexibility.

13. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-blame and "mea culpa" syndrome. We are not as bad as we think.

14. Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with. Then, when the
going gets tough, take the list out and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.

15. Don't be afraid of disagreements and arguments, the only people who don't argue are
people who don't care or are dead. In fact, don't have short arguments. Make certain they
are thoroughly over and done with. After an argument is over, forget it.

16. Watch out for little irritations, they grow into destructive monsters.Verbalize them
at once.

17. Let go of pride. It is usually false, creates barriers and prevents closeness.

18. Acknowledge the humanness of the other.

19. Exercise feelings. Feelings have meaning only as they are expressed in action.

20. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to understanding and acceptance.

21. See all criticism as positive for it leads to self-evaluation. You are always free to
reject it if it is unfair or does not apply.

22. Expect what is reasonable, NOT what is perfect.

23. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by GENUINENESS.

24. Even though you are only half of a relationship, you must remain a whole person,
apart from the relationship.

25. Remember that moral and spiritual values don't restrict, they PROTECT.

26. What you learn about yourself will infinitely help in trying to understand others.

27. See problems as small MIRACLES which can bring about KNOWLEDGE AND CHANGE.

28. Don't allow your relationships to die of NEGLECT.


SOMEONE SAID:" Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8 Beatitudes of Single People

1. Blessed are the single people, for theirs alone is their income.

2. Blessed are those who are detached, they can go where they please, when they please.

3. Blessed are the non-couples, they shall inherit no one else's problems but their own.

4. Blessed are the uncommitted, they have no phone calls to wait for.

5. Blessed are those who do not thirst for companionship, they do not have to share the
remote.

6. Blessed are the purely unattached, for they will see what they want in a shop and go
buy it without any thought as to whether their mate will approve of the purchase. In other
words, they can indulge without guilt...

7. Blessed are those who are persecuted when Valentine's Day rolls in, they do not need
some stupid special day declared to remind them that they are happy in their present
state.

8. Blessed are you when couples walk by arm in arm on a rainy day, you are not getting
wet, they are.

~ All the BEAUTIFUL sentiments in the world weigh LESS than a single lovely ACTION.~ -in
short- Actions speak louder than words! so dont just stare --- do something about it!!!

Even Shakespeare agrees with us:

"Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny, nonny."

~William Shakespeare

I remember the days when I'd stay home all day just watching tv. My favorite channel then was Hallmark. I absolutely love their home-movies. Some of my favorites are: Arabian Nights, Alice in Wonderland, Helen of Troy, Merlin....sus! lahat na ata...what I like about their TV movies is that they do not scrimp on the (i dunnot much about movie terms) design of the movie. I mean the costumes, sets and all the background chorvaness...they also do not deviate from what the story really is. Imma history buff so whenever I watch a movie I tend to check on the "historical" foundation of the movie...one example is Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice. The book is one of my all time faves but the movie >>>>>blech<<<<< walang wenta...wasted my money when I watched it >>>>>blech<<<<<


"Frontin'"
Pharrel Williams(feat. Jay-Z)

Don't wanna sound full of myself or rude
But you ain't looking at no other dudes cause you love me
(I'm sorry but.. so sexy)
So you think about a chance
You find yourself trying to do my dance
Maybe cause you love me (Uh, you do it well)
So then we tried - singing it slow now
Because you weren't used to how fast we touched (fast we touched)
Then we locked eyes - and I knew I was in there
And I was gon' tear ya ass up (tear ya ass up)

I know that I'm carrying on, nevermind if I'm showing off
I was just frontin (you know I want ya babe)
I'm ready to bet it all, unless you don't care at all
But you know I want ya (you should stop frontin babe)

Trying to be the best girlfriend you could be
But still you sneak and look at me, and girl I love it
Then you give your other girl a show
Tell her you gon' call her ass how it was
And she's gon love it (whoa-oh whoa, yeah yeah)
So then we tried - singing it slow now
Because you weren't used to how fast we touched (fast we touched)
Then we locked eyes - and I knew I was in there
And I was gon' tear ya ass up (tear ya ass up)

[J:] We got another one Pha-real [Pharrell]
[P:] Dance, ooooooh ooooh
[J:] I call you Pha-real cause you the truest, haha, Young!
[P:] Whoa-oh, oh ohhhh
[J:] Uh, yeah
[P:] Dance, ooooooh ooooh
[J:] Yeah, lemme talk to em
[P:] Whoa-oh, oh ohhhh
[J:] I'm a keep it real

Everytime your name was brought up
I would act all nonchalant infront of an audience
Like if you was just another shorty I put the naughty on
But uh, truth be told you do me for a loop, this Hov
I'm too old to be frontin when I'm feeling Denzel
And you acting like you ain't appealing but you are
Stunting like you ain't my only girl but you are (I was just frontin)
I'm ready to stop when you are

Consider the Consequences
By: Brian Tracy

Discipline yourself to do what you know you need to do to be the very best in your field. Perhaps the best definition of self-discipline is this: "Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not."

It is easy to do something when you feel like it. It's when you don't feel like it and you force yourself to do it anyway that you move your life and career onto the fast track.

What decisions do you need to make today in order to start moving toward the top of your field? Whatever it is, either to get in or get out, make a decision today and then get started. This single act alone can change the whole direction of your life.

Six Steps to Success
There is a powerful six-step formula that you can use to set and achieve your goals for the rest of your life. Every single successful person uses this formula or some variation of this formula to achieve vastly more than the average person. And so can you. Here it is:

Decide What You Want
Step number one: Decide exactly what it is you want in each part of your life. Become a "meaningful specific" rather than a "wandering generality."

The Ultimate Goals Program - Learn the 21 most important strategies and techniques ever discovered to help you accomplish more of your goals, faster than you ever have before. Click Here to learn more.


Write It Down
Second, write it down, clearly and in detail. Always think on paper. A goal that is not in writing is not a goal at all. It is merely a wish and it has no energy behind it.

Set A Deadline
Third, set a deadline for your goal. A deadline acts as a "forcing system" in your subconscious mind. It motivates you to do the things necessary to make your goal come true. If it is a big enough goal, set sub-deadlines as well. Don't leave this to chance.

Make A List
Fourth, make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal. When you think of new tasks and activities, write them on your list until your list is complete.

Organize Your List
Fifth, organize your list into a plan. Decide what you will have to do first and what you will have to do second. Decide what is more important and what is less important. And then write out your plan on paper, the same way you would develop a blueprint to build your dream house.

Take Action
The sixth step is for you to take action on your plan. Do something. Do anything. But get busy. Get going.

Do Something Every Day
Do something every single day that moves you in the direction of your most important goal at the moment. Develop the discipline of doing something 365 days each year that is moving you forward. You will be absolutely astonished at how much you accomplish when you utilize this formula in your life every single day.

Action Exercises
1. Decide exactly what you want, write it down with a deadline, make a plan and take action - on at least one goal - today!

2. Determine the price you will have to pay to achieve this goal and then get busy paying that price - whatever it is.

Since I got back to work, I've been seeing him almost everyday...glimpses here and there and my ws is near his area so I also get to hear him. bwisit. nakaka miss. pwede wag na please...+++stabbing heart motion+++...what I started doing is to make sure that I eat early (before his shift) and when I'm in the ws is to just stay there and work with music blasting in my ears so I won't hear him...

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win."
~Dame Margaret Thatcher

So how many battles do I have to fight before I win the war? Before I am finally able to lay down al my battlegears..before I am able to put down the walls I created around me...before I am able to live in peace time? How many battles more...

On a lighter note...MJ going to Pinas???
According to NBA.COM

Jordan in Tokyo
Talking to Michael at the end of Asian tour
Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) commissioner Noli Eala has invited Michael Jordan to attend the opening of the league's 30th season in Manila on Oct. 2 in a grand ceremony as guest of honor.

I handcarried Eala's letter of invitation and personally delivered it to Jordan during a 45-minute interview arranged by Nike in a 50th floor suite at the Park Hyatt Hotel in Tokyo last Monday (May 24).

Jordan, 41, was in Tokyo for two days on the final leg of a week-long Asian tour that started in Beijing, proceeded to Hong Kong and stopped in Taiwan.

Jordan said it was his first trip to Asia in eight years and welcomed the opportunity to meet fans, the press, and retailers of his personal footwear and sports apparel brand.

"I've gotten older and bigger," said Jordan. "I hope to keep coming back to Asia, see old friends and say thanks to the fans for their support. The main purpose of the trip was to kick things off in terms of marketing our brand. In the future, we hope to bring athletes over and introduce more products. I'm doing a lot of brand work now that I'm retired. The Asian fans are great and I'm grateful that they appreciate my expertise."

In his letter, Eala told Jordan "how rabid basketball fans the Filipinos are and how much Michael Jordan is loved in the country." He said Filipinos are known to be among the most passionate Jordan and basketball fans in the whole world.

"While we may have missed out on being part of your Asian tour this time, the PBA would like you to be part of a forthcoming milestone in the rich history of Asia's first professional basketball league," said Eala.

"It is with great pride and honor that we formally invite you to be our guest of honor when the PBA opens its 30th season with a grand ceremony on Oct. 2, 2004. Your presence will not only add prestige to the occasion, it will most certainly make our opening rites the most important date in the Philippines' basketball calendar. It is our hope that you will act favorably to this invitation. Our basketball fans are just aching to let your experience the Filipino hospitality that's known the world over and shower their basketball idol with the love and adulation like no other."

With the letter, Eala sent the PBA's hard-cover, coffee-table book "The First 25 Years" and a league pin to Jordan.

Jordan was in Yokohama on the Nike Hoop Heroes tour in 1996 and said he hardly did sightseeing or shopped during the visit.

"Japan still looks the same," he said. "I was able to do some shopping this time. I bought watches for my kids, purses for my wife and I even got myself a watch."

Jordan's first public appearance in Tokyo was at the Mitake Park in the Shibuya district last Sunday afternoon (May 23). He was surrounded by about 100 fans, mostly kids, to dedicate the first outdoor basketball court in Japan.

"I hope someday one of the kids gets to play in the NBA," said Jordan. "The court is made of recycled shoes. It's a good start. It's a court for kids to play on. It's all about communities evolving."

Later that afternoon, Jordan appeared on stage with Jordan brand president Larry Miller for about 30 minutes in a media presentation at the Park Tower building beside the Park Hyatt Hotel. Jordan and Miller spoke to the press and answered questions from a Japanese announcer.

Miller said the Jordan brand, a division of Nike, reflects excellence, sophistication and confidence. "We cultivate a combination of style and sport," he said. "We are the leading edge in product design Our vision is to build a premium brand that reflects excellence on and off the court."

Jordan said he participates in the design of the products. The Air Jordan shoe series, now up to the 19th version, is the heart and soul of the product line. The 20th version is due next year and is now being worked on.

The Jordan line endorsers were personally handpicked. They include NBA stars Gary Payton, Jason Kidd, Mike Bibby, Ray Allen, Eddie Jones, Mike Finley, Derek Anderson, Quintin Richardson and Carmelo Anthony.

Before they came on stage, 15 male models paraded in a dazzling light-and-sound fashion show that unveiled the extensive Jordan line of footwear, apparel and accessories. The models walked to the beat of hip-hop music, wearing jerseys, caps, armbands, wristbands, different kinds of shoes and an assortment of lifestyle apparel for all seasons.

The next morning, Jordan met with selected members of Asian media for 45 minutes in a private suite. Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines were represented in the exclusive interview.

In the interview, Jordan said he knew some of the imports playing in the PBA and nodded his head when the names of Art Long, Jerald Honeycutt and Torraye Braggs were mentioned.

Jordan said "it's great for the Philippines" that NBA players find their way to the PBA. "It's all about the evolution of the game on a global basis, about raising the level of competition all over the world," he added.

Told that a PBA team tried to bring in Dennis Rodman, Jordan smiled and simply shook his head without saying a word. It was obvious what he meant.

On the possibility of a Filipino someday playing in the NBA, Jordan said it won't be easy but it can be done.

"Small players are making an impact on the game," said Jordan. "Guys who are 5-3, 5-7 and look at (Allen) Iverson, he's barely six feet tall. It's like David against Goliath There are no shortcuts to making it. You gotta believe you can do it, that you can make it happen. It'll take a lot of hard work but if you set your mind to it, you can do it."

As for more Asian players breaking into the majors, Jordan said the level of competition in the region is not like in the US. He explained that there is much so talent in the US where playing the game is more prevalent. But he pointed out that international players, especially in Europe, are improving.

Jordan said he has played with Chinese center Yao Ming and described him as "a great shooter and passer." He added that with more experience, Yao will get better and better. "I've seen him play," said Jordan. "He has improved tremendously and he's building up his knowledge. You can expect a better performance from Yao in the future."

Jordan said his parents taught him to be positive in life. He recalled being cut from his high school basketball team and bouncing back from the disappointment. "My parents taught me to turn it around," he continued. "Sure, I was disappointed but I turned the negative into a positive. It's what I tell the kids. It's okay to not succeed. But it's not okay not to try. Don't be afraid to try something. But if you don't succeed, you work harder until you do. And if that still doesn't work, maybe it's not meant to be and you try something else. The thing is you don't give up trying."

Jordan said he doesn't play the game anymore and just shoots around with his kids. "No more double-clutch and fadeaway jumpshots," he went on. "Just shooting around with my kids who love sports. Like them, I grew up with sports. Why basketball? I grew tall. I was six when I began playing baseball. As I got older, my skills were more tuned to basketball than baseball. Now, I play golf about three or four times a week. My favorite course is Augusta where they play the Masters. Will I ever be a pro golfer? No. I'm not that good."

Jordan said it's hard to imagine he's been involved in the game over 20 years.

"I can't believe it's been 20 years," he said. "It's difficult to live up to the fans expectations. It's like I'm on a pedestal. The respect I've gained was generated by the way I played. I'm thankful that I was able to play at a high level. It's given me a lot of respect and made my job now easier to promote my brand. Whatever I did on the court is how I'm respected when I stepped off. It's great to be admired, to be able to be of influence and inspire people. The advantage is I'm able to talk to kids, to people. The disadvantage is it's tough to move around, to go to movies with my family and just hang out."

Posted by Joaquin Henson - May 27 2004 11:54PM