"If you want it you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." Sunjay Gupta

wrote something awhile back that I'm making some kind of list and I'm happy to tell you that I haven't finished that list until now!

So I'm pressuring myself to make that list on-line...pressure...pressure...pressure!

2004 Goals
1. Lose weight (my forever goal) and do spot toning (dream on!)
2. Take up a sport (is sleeping a sport?)
3. Renovate my room!
4. Fix books..check!
5. Pay off ALL debts...almost there!
6. Travel (pref. via plane to renew frequent flyer miles)
1) Bora
2) HK
7. Go to the beach before year end
8. Get over jerk.....BIG CHECK!
9. Decide what to do after I resign
1) go home (to the states)
2) go back to law school
3) teach

so far ive barely accomplished everything in my list. i'm trying to pursue #1...and I'm done with #s 4 and 8. with 2 months to go i strongly doubt if i'd ever be able to accomplish all of them but then again, there's always next year to waste with list of goals that I never seem to finish...do i hear the clock ticking fast somewhere?


i was that thin before..notice the difference? ;P

i'm cleaning up my Friendster messages and here are the latest funny messages that I got and as usual pang international nanaman ang beauty ko hahahahaha..I'd like to thank Meian (a.k.a Summer and Loneliestperson) for taking THE picture~~taba and all :)

be friend??
Message:
hi wanna friend?im m/30/ukmy yahoo id: ferdaushahmedif want to chat with me welcome
bye
faisal

From: Sameer
Date: June 2, 2004 3:06 PM
Subject: HIYA Message: HI im Sameer hope u dont mind to add me as a friend my yahoo address is yd_devil@yahoo.comTHANKX :)
From:
Sexy
Date:
March 6, 2004 4:43 AM
Subject: Hello Beautiful LADY
Message: Hello,You are nice looking. Why I didnt see a beautiful girl like you when I visit to Philippines?If you send me message I will be very happy. Pls take care. See you....

***I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I HID MYSELF FROM THE LIKES OF YOU, YOU RODENT LOOKING--UGH-PERSON

From:
Trevor
Date:
March 6, 2004 5:31 AM
Subject:
Re: Hi
Message:
Even you dont know me, I hope this site give me a reason to have friends...Thanks and GOD BLESS

Belinda-Maribel wrote:> do i know you?> >

Trevor wrote:> > Just want you to add on my list of friends, can > > we friends? > > > > email: monteros@lycos.com

***I HOPE THIS SITE NEVER GIVES ME REASON TO KILL MYSELF


Message from my first stalker of the year:
From: Ryan
Date: March 28, 2004 4:13 PM
Subject: Re: hi
Message: sorry if na ofend kita , my name is ryan guarino, 25 yrs old, taga pasig, single, work me eastwood call center as a technical support, graduate me ece -engineering sa ue? tatlo kami magkakapatid panganay me hope nakilala mo me kahit papano, ok lang ba kahit cell# mo lang thanks nga pala for calling me sweetee

Same stalker:
From: Ryan
Date: March 29, 2004 11:58 PM
Subject:
Re: hi
Message:
baka pwede mo me bigyan consideration na malaman ko cell# mo???take care

From my second stalker:
From: Xhristian
Date: May 15, 2004 5:29 AM
Subject:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Message:
ah thats the second NO or the second no reply everytime i ask that question.mind me asking why?why?



From:
Concho
Date:
June 1, 2004 9:11 PM
Subject:
hey
Message:
your one hell of a lady!heaven must be missing an angel.WIsh we could talk formally.got a #?

10 Things:

10 things I enjoy watching
1. CSI (on tv)
2. News! News! (on tv)
3. kids playing
4. Sunsets
5. People
6. Just shoot me (on tv)
7. Will and Grace (on tv)
8. Futbol (Viva Real)
9. Baseball
10. people I love *heart*

10 favorite places
1. Libraries
2. Breton in GB3
3. SF
4. Velasquez Park
5. Greenhills when its not crowded
6. Old Powerbooks in Arnaiz
7. AA Retreat House
8. my old bed in my mom's bedroom
9. my room
10. in the arms of the man i love (wishing out loud )

All curses must end...even if it's Boston...The Red Sox won the World Series after 86 years defeating the Cardinals in a sweep 11-9 , 6-2 , 4-1, 3-0.

I couldn't sleep last night. I got home at 2am from my usual wednesday night out and was not able to sleep till 5am and woke up at 10am...sarap...think i need my sleeping pills again...

took a bunch of quizzes while I was waiting for my mind to sleep and here's one funny test that I took

The Zodiac Match
(TestDate The Right Sign For Your Personality) <----is there even such a thing????? Belinda, the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Cancer

Cancer, the Crab (June 22 to July 22):

This emotional and imaginative partner is just your type. Initially, a Cancerian may catch your
eye because of their romantic ways and dedication to you. But as you get to know them, you're even more likely to be drawn to your Cancer's practicality and ability to nurture you. People born under this sign tend to be true-blue, loyal partners who are willing to devote their hearts and souls to their close relationships. Because of the deep investment they'll put into others, Cancerians can be easily hurt and may seem overly sensitive at times. However, more often, Cancers are simply warm and compassionate mates. In the bedroom, you may find the Crab a bit hard to coax out of its shell — at least at first. Cancers can be somewhat timid lovers in comparison to other signs. Typically, a Cancer's nature is to value family above all else. As a result, if you can make a Cancer happy and earn that familial title, you can be sure that this partner will always be there for you.

I don't think I know a lot of people who were born under this sign...checking my calendar...there's no one that I know who's birthday fall between June 22-July 22 not even any female friends ***scratches head*** ..let's try checking any cute celebrities who's birthday falls under that sign....as if....hehehehehe....brad pitt john travolta? ben affleck...kevin spacey? gabriel bryne? christian bautista...

and so 2 weds ago, it was farting contest inside Tom's built to last batmobile and last wed, it was comparing Ferrino's bibingka in 2 different branches. last night it was going all the way to Mang Jimmy's near UP and eating 3 huge dishes of tapa, porkchop and siZig and 2 gargantuan plates of rice that disapperead in 10 minutes and next week promises to be another interesting wednesday since we'd going to this place they've been going to in Binondo~another girlie bar...hay naku...

eversince i got wednesday thursday off, i've been spending my wednesday nights with 2 of my oldest friends Den and Tom. Oman (from a previous misconstrued post) and those 2 are just part of a 9 boys and 1 girl (?)-that's me barkada...if they hear refer to us as a barkada I'll be the laughing stock of these guys till the next century. Not a lot of people know that I am more comfortable being with guys than with girls. why? because they're easier to deal with. i hated having girlfriends who would flock to the bathroom in throves or spend an hour or two deciding on where to eat. i abhor that kind of "practice". Coming from an all-girls school just makes one wonder why I have this inclination. one word: abner.

Not until I started working in Etel did I meet my would be life long friends...story reserved on a future entry...going back, I have always been comfortable having male friends. maybe it's because I grew up (no pun intended) in an all male household. Until 2nd year HS, I was the only girl in a family of 5. my mom always hated it when I'd play ball with my male cousins who used to live with us and my 2 brothers. That meant learning to play ball or else be stuck playing Barbie and lutu-lutuan all alone. So at a very young age, I've been playing ball---basketball and baseball with my male ensemble. My kuya Angelo-who's now a captain in the US army stationed in Germany, my kuya Mike, my younger bro Ton-Ton and, yes, even Stupid Dog. Stupid Dog is my older brother who I know abhor for being the total embodiment of being kupal and other cousins and their friends who'd always make tambay in our house since we used to have our very own half court at home. Some of those friends were Tom, Dennis, Kel (my some kinda ex), Eric, Oman.....So my all male barkada who used to be friends of my younger bro ton are now my oldest set of friends.

The same barkada who had the guts to make me their messenger and deliverer of notes loveletters and flowers to their girl of the moment-even if it meant, when I was still in GY, not sleeping till 2pm just to make sure that I deliver all of their packages. The same barkada who brought me to live shows and KTVs---these are not your usual red box and IO ktv okei! The same barkada who I have slept with--tabi tabi in one queen size bed. 4 width challenge males (Barnie, Fred, Oman and Rusty), 1 stick size (Tom) and me all sleeping in one dusty bed. Imagine that plus the smell of fart till the wee hours of the morning. They were having a who's fart smelled the "sweetest" contest and I was the judge-B L E C H ! ! ! and li'l o'le me was sleeping at the end of the bed so I was always being bumped off the bed. after that incident, I picked a new bed mate who always made sure na I had my own space-eric. but he snored the loudest! oh well, one can't have her cake and eat it too.


Blues are some of the most loving, nurturing and
supportive personalities. They live from their
heart and emotions. Their purpose for being on
the planet is to give love, to teach love and
to learn that they are loved. Their priorities
are love, relationships, and spirituality.


What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla


I CANNOT SLEEP AND IT'S 5AM!!!

maybe this is my love story...

maybe unlike other people who have been blessed to find their life's soulmate

i am destined to never find that one person who will love me enduringly and faithfully until our dying breath...

maybe fate has other plans for me

maybe no serendipitous moment will ever pass my way or will ever knock at my door...

maybe...

but i would like it to be otherwise...

i would give my life's breath to find my north star

i would give my life's breath to find...to find that one person who will stop the world in an instant just by the mere sight of him

...a love that is always constant and lit even in the darkest of nights

a love that will live for me and only me

a love that will melt all the pain and will dry all the tears

a love that will be like summer snow...warm and cool

a love that is like the wind when you wake up on christmas day...exciting and full of joy

a love that is like the first ray of the sun...pure and warm

a love that will be...just how i feel now...chaotic but purposeful...with so many ideas but just has one intent and that is to love...to love one person until our days have waned and our time has passed...

"Is there anyone out there coz it's getting harder and harder to breathe."

Is it easy for you to show mercy to those who hurt you? It's easier perhaps to make things difficult for them and make them feel the misery we suffer, right?

But the way Jesus deals with difficult people is that of mercy and compassion. He didn't brand or condemn as eveil those who put Him on the spot and accused Him. When your heart finds it hard to show mercy, try again. Look at others with Jesus' eyes. The mercy and compassion we give may be the very ones we need for ourselves!

the dam broke...

I've been listening to Jane Monheit for the past 3 or 4 years and seeing her music video (duet with Michael Buble) is such a relief that her star is finally rising... if you like jazz, try listening to her...commercial commercial...


the curse is finally broken! 86years after Babe Ruth "cursed" the Boston Red Sox for trading him to the New York Yankees they finally were able to break it when they won the American League Championship...against the yankees at that and at the "house that the babe built"...babe ruth must be cursing at his grave....being a Giants fan there's really not much to celebrate about ..'cept barry bonds i guess...

Fighting temptations:

Temptation #1:
when it itches you don't have to scratch but sad to say and stupid me I gave in...I didn't feel any better afterwards...I even felt..blech!...as Boi_bitch said it was like making love to an uber ugly person..pak the shet...belinda bonks her head with a baseball bat... why did I have to give in to that fucking urge..punyeta ka maria belinda...bonk bonk bonk....next time when it itches DO NOT SCRATCH!...left with the feeling of drowning in a sea of mud....horrible!

temptation #2:
my material weaknesses are shoes bags cds and books...went to M1 last sunday before my usual sunday morning breton ritual and bought miself 3 cds!...another bonk...i should learn how to make tipid...but i can't..really can't..i am weak...i am mapurok...hihihihi :) no new cds muna....argh! as if..hafta fight the urge...it's the devil in me that forces me to give in to my temptation...

i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid! i will make tipid!

temptaion #3:
been eyeing this pair of nike cross trainers for months...finally bought it yesterday...my mom will probably kill me when she gets he cc bill next month..i an almost hear her voice...$73 for a pair of shoe (echo...echo..)...ma, halabyu! i'm your only daughter that i'm sure you miss terribly..momsy! you're so sexy.....chargeback ko kaya? hehehe..bad belle bad belle...

hafta go..kirk will have my head if i don't show up for my basketball game later at 11am!

been itching to update but a myriad of thoughts just circles through my mind....too many thoughts..too many to conjure up just one bubble of thought.....aarrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

off to my restday...bad trip..my dsl at home is busted...fuckin' A.

We're on a roll!!!

Reality continues to ruin my life....now why am I not surprised?

my lolo daddy died last October 8, , he was 89 y/o. that's the 2nd death in the family but the 3rd in my immediate circle.

Marc sez that tragedies come in 3's. So i'm guessing that that's the last for this year since that's the third death although if you count by tragedies that would be more than 5 na ata...so isn't that over doing it?

do i have to enumerate them one by one? no more na please

so that's why I haven't really blogged for the last couple of days..been really busy and was in the province since saturday...

got see a lot of my relatives who I haven't seen in ages! some of them I don't even recognize and their parents had to re-introduce them to me...being the eldest apo both in the Perez and Tan family, everyone bows to me...all hail!...hehehehe di naman...they just refer to me as ate even if most of them are way way taller than me...

making lamay had its ups and downs...i now know that sleep deprivation is never the way to lose weight..nope...i thought i'd be able to lose some pounds but ..nope...nothing happen..nil..naa...zilch..zzeeerrroo!...but making lamay gave me the opportunity to get to know some of my relatives...found out that some of them are just born geniuses (now why did I not get that gene?), that one is going through teenage menopousal at the age of 22 (yes, that's the first time I heard that such a thing can happen, too), that I had 2 cousins-twins at that, are currently in the seminary..sayang ang ggwapo pa naman, that one was kulit enough to smoke a joint beside legal smoker me and when one of my gullible tita's asked what he was doing he immediately said that it was just his insaler!..hay naku...looks like insanity runs in the family!

my last post generated quite a number of reactions...just a clarification..Oman was my best friend before work and a man came between us and somehow wedged an imaginary wall between us...i use to have a huge crush on his older bro eric. eric, too, was my friend first before Oman and I got close. he used to tease me that in "friend levels", he ranks 2nd to his brother and that if I had to choose, i'd choose eric instead of him. Hard headed person as he is, he never believed me when I said that he's # 1 and that he's more important to me than his brother (ego..ego...ego...) and now...I miss him...a lot...i miss the old oman who used to take care of me and used to nudged me to smile whenever he'd see me frown...is that romantic love...i don't know...if it is...i don't even want to explore that possibility..why...because i don't think I'd ever learn to trust again....


Pano ka gigising ng umaga kung napakatagal ng gabi?
Pano ka aahon sa kadiliman ng gabi kung ang gabi ang humihila syo pababa?
Pano ka masisiyahan sa umaga kung nilunod ka na ng kalungkutan ng gabi?
Walang bituin sa langit
Lahat sila nagtatago mula syo dahil hindi nila mapawi
ang kalungkutan mo sa bawat hiling na isisigaw mo.
Pano ka na ngayon?
San ka pupulutin?
San ka sisilong sa ulang ng lungkot?
Sa basurahan?
Sa basurahang puno ng maduduming pangako

"We are lovers, not fighters."



wednesday night was spent with my oldest friends...as usual the night yielded no decent pic except for the one that I'm posting. that's Oman. short for Norman Paul. I miss him. a lot. it's been awhile since we last saw each other and things are not so good right now...somehow reality got in the way...work and love built an invisible wall between the 2 of us that it got so high for us to climb...if he only knew...i miss him a lot...he was my sweetest and dearest friend...he'd accompany me everywhere, cut class for me, eat my tira, bring my heavy bag, listen to me even if my kwento was paulit ulit, keep my secrets, be my pillow, always made sure that i was comfortable...everything...he doesnt know about this blog...so i'm safe...if you only knew i loved you more than your brother...

Once, as my heart reign when night seemed forever,
I was with you.

Once, in the care of morning
in the air was all belonging.
Once, when that day was dawning
I was with you.

How far we are from morning,
how far are we
and the stars shining through the darkness,
falling in the air.

Once, as the night was leaving
into us our dreams were weaving.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.
I was with you.

Once, when our hearts were singing,
I was with you.

i won't say much...lest it be miscontrued...but one thing though...i may be a lot of things to other people but i can say that i would have never hurt anyone intentionally especially friends...i may be tactless at times or had let my mouth do the thinking instead of my mind but i would've never hurt anyone intentionally as i do not want to be hurt too. but for someone to think that i would've or that I was actually capable of doing so hits straight home. but that's ok. i cannot control what other people think and feel about me anyway. i used to think act and feel that every action by another is supposed to be answered by another action. that for every punch someone takes at you that you have to punch back. and this time a bit harder. but i have learned that that is not always the case. i have learned that sometimes you just have to take the punches and roll with it. that sometimes its better to just be the punching bag accepting life's punches than be another boxer. that sometimes its better to just sit down and keep quiet. less talk less mistakes. less action less reaction. passive defense. and it's not because of having a martyr complex or whatever you call it complex. no. absolutely not. i do that because i believe in karma. i do that because i believe that the more animosity, hate and negativity you throw at people the more animosity hate and negativity life will throw back at you. one less person generating such negativity in the world might just help others do the same. too ideal? maybe but someone has to do it because isn't that what we all want? an ideal place to live in. an ideal relationship with everyone around you. that's what i want. we might not have that and i honestly do not have that...yet...but i am trying to get there. albeit struggling. but that's how life is. roll with the punches instead of trying to hit back. sit down and just keep quiet. don't harbor hate and anger from people who have hurt you and have punched you. sit down and keep quiet. they won't get hurt. you won't get hurt. it's a win-win solution and no one's the wiser.

didn't i say i won't say much?

"I keep my ideals because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart"

Si Lord talaga

Si Lord talaga alam kung kelan ako babatukan sa ulo. Here He is again trying to get my attention.

Hello! "...busy ka? naku mukha nga...tagal na natin di nagkikita... tagal mo na ako di dinadalaw...alam mo miss na kita...

O sino yang nagtext sa iyo?... buti pa sa kanya nakapagreply ka agad...napansin ko ang dami mong ginagawa talaga...ang dami mo ring things to do diyan sa planner mo ah!

Mapangarap ka talaga noh?... ang dami mong plano.

Nakakatuwa naman na malaman yan. kasama ba ako sa plano mo? ano? naku di ka agad
makasagot...

Sige okay lang alam ko naman kung ano talaga sagot mo...

nakita kita nung Friday, aga mo umalis sa office. Alam mo ba, ang akala ko pupuntahan mo ako. Ooppss! hindi pala! TGIF (THANK God its Friday) pala kayo ng mga friends mo. umaga ka na nakauwi ah? naghintay ako sa'yo.

Pagpasok mo sa kuwarto mo, di mo ako napansin... haaay! kawawa ka naman siguradong
kinabukasan masakit ang ulo mo, tanghali ka na gigising...

Ang dami mong lakad, naghihintay ako na tayo naman ang maging magkasama kaya lang sa
dami ng schedules mo sa trabaho at sa labas ng office parang malabo.

O sige na, balik ka na sa work mo. i might be eating too much of your time maging dahilan pa ako para masira ang plano mo sa araw na ito...

gusto ko lang sabihin sa'yo na nandito lang ako kapag kailangan mo ako...pag hindi ka na busy. totoo yon! walang biro! ayaw mong maniwala? Ganon kita kamahal kasi! ayaw mo pa ring maniwala? Haaay!

Remember this, kahit singit lang ako lagi sa buhay mo, kahit biglaan mo lang na natatawag ako dahil nagulat ka, nasaktan ka, nauntog ka o dahil part ang pangalan ko nung binabasa mo sa text, you will be in my heart always... trial after trial

Isipin mo kasama mo ako na lumalakad, hindi man sa buhangin, kasama mo pa rin ako... sa lahat plano mo, kahit hindi mo ako kasama perfecting it... para mas maging masaya ka...

minsan tayo naman ang mag-usap ha? minsan ako naman ang dalawin mo... miss na talaga kita eh...sa akin hindi ka singit lang..."

not another one...

a grand aunt died last week...my mom asked me to go home...having no PTO's (leaves) left I told her that I can't...my grand aunt along with my maternal grandmother and other relatives took care of me whenever I was in the states since my family was here...when I was a kid i had a close relationship with my grandaunt, some tito's and, of course, my maternal lola. I used to love them more than I did my immediate family. for real. why? maybe because i disliked my mom back then and i used to spend most of my time with my lolas than with my mom, dad or any of my siblings. i could always talk to my lolas and titos just about anything in the world without fear of being reprimanded. i had more freedom being with them than with my family whom i felt stifled me by telling me what I can and cannot do. But of course, things have changed a lot this year. I actually have a relationship now with my mom whom i disliked during my growing up years. But it's just so sad that I wasn't able to see my grandaunt before she died nor have i spent any time lately with my lola. well, being an ocean apart doesnt help either! i miss my lola and my mom and my sister and my dad and my favorite titos...i miss sf and the how the sun's rays warms my cold red face when I open my window in the morning...aaawwww maybe it's time to think about really going home...sshhhh!

Sitting in limbo
( Jimmy Cliff )

Sitting here in Limbo
Waiting for the tide turn.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
So many things I've got to learn.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

Sitting here in Limbo
Waiting for the dice to roll.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
Still got some time to search my soul.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I don't know where life will take me,
But I know where I have been.
I don't know what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
Tried my hand at love and friendship,
That is past and gone.
And now it's time to move along.

Sitting here in Limbo
Like a bird ain't got a song.
Yeah, I'm sitting here in Limbo
And I know it won't be long
'Til I make my getaway, now.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I don't know where life will take me,
But I know where I have been.
I don't know what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
Tried my hand at love and friendship,
That is past and gone.
And now it's time to move along.

Gonna lead me on now.
Meanwhile, they're putting up resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.



temporary happiness

Sa wakas the stars pinned the dhon-keeee!

Here is your horoscopefor Wednesday, September 29:

If it smells good, feels good or makes you think that you'll look better wearing it, you'll gladly shell out lots of your hard-earned pesos to have it. Just don't deplete the bank account.

did some shopping today when I went to megamall. i was planning to buy some "important" stuff lang sana but at the end of the day I wasn't able to buy any of the items on my checklist. The only thing that I was able to cross out was the orientation that I went to which was for Hands on Manila...I get to start next week!!! yey! i get to teach kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Love isn’t fucked” she goes on, “It’s just the absence of it that is.”

I usually eat at some restaurant where you don't have to line up and where one can linger to sawa instead i went to Mcdonald's nalng. why? because I wanted to be anonymous...cue mysterious music here...in a restaurant you have to interact with the crew and sometimes with the other people eating in the same restaurant but in the land of sup-ah size me I can be as anonymous as an electric pole. I hate eating alone. may it be sa house or outside. even if i'm eating with someone tapos s/he finishes before I do, nawawalan agad ako ng gana. it's an automatic thing for me. For me it's lonely eating alone. You can't savor the food when you're eating alone because you're trying to eat as fast as you can to be to get out of that resto so you don't have to endure the kawawa-naman-sya-she's-eating-alone stares. I like the chitchats in between mouthfuls. I like the feel of being happy because you're getting stuffed. nothing beats kwentos over a good meal. yum!

GAZZZZZZIIILLLIIOOONNNN thoughts:

a lot of people reacted to my smiley question...sya daw si saddy si frowny at meron pang sumagot with all seriousness: "ang name ni smiley na sad is Mr. Sady Smiley. Smiley yung last name nya." Haaayyyy...***rolls eyes***

my reaction:


Sino sya? hint: hindi sya marunong mag scroll down :D

haven't been blogging religiously...that's how bored I am. Even if I have a lot of things to do sa office I still feel so bo-o-o-red! my mind doesn't function correctly na din...wait..kelan nga ba sya nag function ng tama...gr! (with 1 R)

i had a thought...in the office, I'm the one in charge of doing our sales thingie report and i always include a sales motivational quote in the end for more motivation chicka to...pero what if i, one time lang, put a love quote? What will our manager say?

love quotes/messages:

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u, would you ramdam the same?

" i miss you so much it hurts"

“I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

HaLa! Just a thought...a thought that I am seriously toying with...

told you i was bored...and abner too



it's 3am na and i'm still not asleep. how is that when my eyes were all red due to the constant yawning and i'm so sleepy rubbing my eyes thingie when I was at work and here I am at home still awake?

i'm trying to change my template but a quarter way to it I realize that that is so insane...i'm tamad. i don't wanna tire myself out. unfortunately, this is one of those things that my yaya can't do for me...mommy?

i'm going back to my usual self...due to my crummy rest days (wednesday and thursdy) the mall is the gimik place to be for me! Do i sense a hand forming the letter L there? But at least I get to watch old Sharon Movies in the afternoon...little joys

Later i'm going to this seminar with Hands on Manila. It's volunteer group. One things to do off my list. cchheeccckk!

At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). "Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"

sundays in Makati

i luurrrvvv Makati on sundays. less vehicles less people. sarap. peace and quiet. plus the fact that Makati has sidewalks!

"Everywhere I looked, people were standing in twos
-- it was like Noah's Upper West Side rent-controlled Ark."
(Carrie,SATC)

why is that people always think that you're with someone wherever you go? Go to a resto and the maitre'd wll ask you: Table for 2? Even the servings are good for 2 persons! pak the shet! I'm alone ohh--kkeeeyyyy!

question: pag sad na si smiley? ano na tawag sa kanya? seryosong tanong yan a! pramis!

7am! 7am! (#U$#U%%*#($#$@# punyeta! pwede ba kumuha nalang kayo ng basura at wag na kayong magbulabog ng mga taong gustong matulog pag umaga! fuck it. 10 minutes. pabagalan portion...o fine ayan malayo na..sleep ulet....9am...yaya wakes me up...ang aga naman ya! ...sabe mo 9am ka gisingin..a ganun ba..sige 5 minutes...ya, 5 minutes na ba yun...o fine gumising na at tumayo...kailangan pa natin makita si kraazziiee maglaro...late for the 10am bball game. OMG! si nick! my other crush...fuck...ay si krazzie naglalaro din pala..whatta morning!we won. what else is new..naks!yabang...o red box na...o last song nalang i'll go to work na...neeexxtt!...'Di ba sa simula sinabi mong walang matitiyak ....moon river wider than a mile i'm crossing you in style someday....May isang umagang `di mo hahagkan Ang mata kong `di ka magigisnan Turuan mong ako'y h'wag masaktan Kahit ako para sa `yo Ay `sang hiram At hindi dapat magdamdam....o what! ang squatter no? baket ba! hehehe...o basta next time pag wala akong pasok tara let's ulet!

bored...yes...definitely bored...yes...

o yeah one more kwento...this time its nakakaasar but you just hafta smile kwento...there's this girl who asked me the other day if i really could see or speak to "those we cannot see" (for more mysteriosu effect"...

me: huh? why'd you ask
girl: e kse..yada yada yada yada.....
me: uh...ok lang...
girl: di nga totoo?
me: (inside my mind) lord give me strength!
me: (talking to girl) and? what do you want me to do
girl: baka lang masabe mo sa akin kung bakit ganun
me: (inside my shrinking head) mukha ba ako si jojo acuin or rene mariano
me: (talking to girl) just dont mind it. im sure it nothin

today:
girl: (passed by my table) o mamaya a pag meron tawagin kita
me: ***fake smile*** (talking to my head) ANO BASH! hindi ako spirit questor! hindi ako si madam auring...fuck it....i see braindead people!

"How long must my patience be tested before it is rewarded."

The waiting game...

it is a bit tricky, my dears. you dont' not know if you are to sit or stand or to wait or to give it up or...but what are you to do...what are you to say...you are never given any choices that you can just pick like in a multiple choice test...it is, as always like a wrong minus right exam...you answer or you don't. The waiting game is not an exam or a test...it is not a game of monopoly where you can get a get out of jail card...sometimes, in life, there are no second chances...sometimes in life there are simply no right or wrong answers...sometimes in life there are no multiple choices...sometimes in life there are simply no turning the hands of the time back...sometimes A man does what he can until his destiny is revealed to him and you just have to rely on your self to make the best answer...

SMILE (Though Your Heart Is Breaking)

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

9 cigs and counting


how long must i wait
before the night ends
before the sun begins its ascent
illuminating a once darkened sky

tonight would be just one of those nights
the cigs and the blackened night would be your best friend
and no one else
....yes no one else my dear

and you are resigned to that fate
that you will be alone
that you will be unhappy
that you will be forever looking at the night sky
waiting for that elusive falling star
waiting for that sun to shine on your wet and cold face
but it will not come
it will not bless you with its warmth
it will leave you cold and stark naked and ripe for loneliness to embrace you
you are alone

and I am 10 cigs and counting....
adnileb