So here I am the victim of my own choices, and I'm just starting....

I told jeanboy that Im ending it na...susmaryosep wala pa ngang naumpisahan ni end na agad...paking shiyeett...more of this as soon as I get back from Enchanted ...I want to be hApPy today!

This was me:

I am making a fool of myself right here
Just to let you know that I love you still
I am making a fool of myself right now
To convince you boy
That we can work this out somehow

but no more. I've learned my lesson and its a lesson that I have taken into heart. No more would anyone be responsible for my own happiness...no one but me...no more with anyone be the center of my life...i would never love the same way ever again...

Maybe one day I'd be able to love someone again as openly as I loved before...maybe someday I'd be able to find my true north star...but until then...I'm a mariner that though it seems na it has lost its way is still determined to find the shore where I can rest my weary heart...


How did I get to be such a mess so soon in my life?

Never thought na I'd post something in ger from Penguin..but i guarantee that its something useful...

The Golden Hour
By Brian Tracy

You become what you think about most of the time. And the most important part of each day is what you think about at the beginning of that day. Take 30 minutes each morning to sit quietly and to reflect on your goals. You'll find when you read the biographies and autobiographies of successful men and women that almost everyone of them began their upward trajectory to success when they begin getting up early in the morning and spending time with themselves.

This is called the Golden Hour. The first hour sets the tone for the day. The things that you do in the first hour prepare your mind and set you up for the entire day. During the first thirty to sixty minutes, take time to think and review your plans for the future.

Here are four things that you can do during that quiet time in the morning. Number one is to review your plans for accomplishing your goals and change your plans if necessary. Number two is think of better ways to accomplish your goals. As an exercise, assume that the way you're going about it is totally wrong and imagine going about it totally differently. What would you do different from what you're doing right now?

Number three, reflect on the valuable lessons that you have learned and are learning as you move toward your goals. Number four, calmly visualize your goal as a reality. Close your eyes, relax, smile, and see your goal as though it were already a reality. Rewrite your major goals everyday in the present tense. Rewrite them as though they already existed. Write “I earn X dollars.” “I have a net worth of X.” “I weigh a certain number of pounds.” This exercise of writing and rewriting your goals everyday is one of the most powerful you will ever learn.

Your life will start to take off at such a speed that you'll have to put on your seatbelt. Remember, the starting point for achieving financial success is the development of an attitude of unshakable confidence in yourself and in your ability to reach your goals. Everything we've talked about is a way of building up and developing your belief system until you finally reach the point where you are absolutely convinced that nothing can stop you from achieving what you set out to achieve.

No one starts out with this kind of an attitude, but you can develop it using the law of accumulation. Everything counts. No efforts are ever lost. Every extraordinary accomplishment in the result of thousands of ordinary accomplishments that no one recognizes or appreciates. The greatest challenge of all is for you to concentrate your thinking single-mindedly on your goal and by the law of attraction, you will, you must inevitably draw into your life the people, circumstances and opportunities you need to achieve your goals.

Once you've mastered yourself and your thinking, you will become a living magnet for ideas and opportunities to become wealthy. It's worked for me and for every successful person I know. It will work for you if you'll begin today, now, this very minute, to think and talk about your dreams and goals as though they were already a reality. When you change your thinking, you will change your life. You will put yourself firmly on the road to financial independence.

Now, here are two things you can do every single day to keep your mind focused on your financial goals:

First, get up every morning a little bit earlier and plan your day in advance. Take some time to think about your goals and how you can best achieve them. This sets the tone for the whole day.

Second, reflect on the valuable lessons you are learning each day as you work toward your goals. Be prepared to correct your course and adjust your actions. Be absolutely convinced that you are moving rapidly toward your goals, no matter what happens temporarily on the outside. Just hang in there!

He says she says...when you know that someone you like has a "prior commitment"..o sya sige let's put it bluntly..may commitment sa iba..why should you insist pa yourself to that person?!?!?! I don't get it...put your self in the other person's shoes...you wanna be betrayed? duh!?!?!? I don't think so...so why do it to another person...yeah yeah yeah you tell everyone that you're trying to distance yourself and that you already put a stop to whatever it is that you had going but, hey honey, you're actions speak otherwise...tsk tsk tsk...we're all old enough to know what is wrong and right...i hope you also believe in karma, dearie because you might pass her by one of these days..you're my friend that's why I'm telling you and have told you several times na ikaw na ang umalis sa ganyan na situation...friend ikaw ang third party...ikaw ang third wheel...ikaw ang querida...put yourself in the other girl's shoes do you want your hubby to make kaliwa? I sure hope not. so think. use your mind not your gonads...don't be the poison in someone else's relationship..


"Marriages, I can tell you, don't just suddenly collapse....They're slowly poisoned." (Jude Law)

Girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and
said....You're not pretty you're beautiful. i dont want to be with you forever. i NEED to be with you forever,
and i wouldnt cry if you walked away...i'd die...

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Virgo Daily Horoscope

You've crossed the mind of an ex-lover a lot lately, and he or she may be ready to reconnect. Before you agree to give them a second chance, be sure you have new solutions to those old problems.

***NO COMMENT***

"Sometimes when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing."
---Ally McBeal

That's what happened to me...I gave everything and got nothing back... I gambled and I lost---bigtime! There'll be no next time anymore...next time I won't give everything...I'll retain at least 50% to myself...IF there'll be a next time...

Strong Enough
by: Stacie Orrico


As I rest against this cold hard wall,
will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all

my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun

Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again


Will my weakness fall and and now make me
suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness by

the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plans?

Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again


He took my life into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance, is where I'm finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Virgo Daily Horoscope

After lots of long-term planning, it's time to actually step up and take action. If you feel the need for a bit of privacy in the meantime, insist upon it. Assure your dear ones that nothing is wrong.

One of the keys to life: the fast forward. Every movie has its lousy parts. The trick is to fast forward through them. As time passes, you look back and say oh, that little thing, oh that. You fast forward to then right now, and you're over it.

....Inside my womb I kept you,
ever peaceful from the storm...
I knew that you were always safe
and I knew that you were warm.

I never thought I'd lose you
before I saw your face...
but I know that you are happy
and living in a better place.

God must have spared my baby
from some unknown tragedy...
I know He'd never be unkind
or bring hurt and pain to me.

The days ahead will try me
as I come to terms with grief...
but through it all, there's comfort,
and God is my relief.

He'll hold me in His arms awhile
and shelter me with care...
time will take away the pain,
but the love will still be there.

You know I just got this piano, sometimes I sing this song it's called goodnight my someone... and it's about...well,
basically it's a love song about someone you never met but you know is out there. And I dunno we make so few promises
to ourselves as we grow up and one of them is that on our wedding day we walk down the aisle with someone we love. Somebody who does make your heart bounce, I guess. And there are some promises that I think we have to keep.

I wish that I can leave na...need time to recuperate on my own.....

due to some friend's insistent demand kse tamad sila hanapin sa friendster si Gani here's my testimonial sa kanya:

ASSUMPTIONISTO! Yep, you read that right. He did study in Assumption from Kinder to Grade 4. FYI. In Grade School, he was the kupalest seatmate but the sweetest too...to me lang ata coz he had a crush on me then (yiiiiheee)..He’d always make me asar but despite of that he has his good sides din naman. He defended me against the salagubangs of a classmate who liked those creepy creatures and sometimes from his pesky sidekicks but the dearest memory I have of him is when he helped heal my bruises coz I scraped my knee when some kid pushed me while playing agawan base.
He found me hiding in some corner trying to hold back my tears and without question he ran to the clinic and next thing I know there he was handing me cotton balls and band aids. Aslagan, as you said, it’s been 15 or so years since we last saw each other but here you are again helping me heal my wounds...destiny??? We never know baka you’re my knight in tarnished and dented armor pala.....so will my surfing lessons be free? O don't forget a March 25 hope your gifts and flowers are not recycled ;P miss ya

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Virgo Daily Horoscope
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop imagining that tall, dark stranger. You have far more important things to think about. For starters, you need to figure out how to react when you actually cross paths with them.

***I can't bear it. Not yet..not ever***

Being Twenty-Something...

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You
start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you could be doing or maybe you are
looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is ifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe they love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap
and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that
everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
as we can to figure this whole thing out.

"I already gave my best.
i have no regrets at all."
-- William Hung
2004 American Idol Auditions

"We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We suffer because our love is going
unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rule"

"Lord God, I recognize my sin of unforgiveness. Please help me get to the point of being willing to forgive
those who have wronged me. Please give me the desire and ability to forgive. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus'
name I pray, Amen."