Jun 12, 2004

because I am vain vain vain :p


This was taken by Summer. Ang picture na andami nang nabola hehehehe :D



"I'm trying to win, coach. I ain't trying to disrespect nobody, but winning is the only thing i respect."

...for all the kiss ass people out there...how you get ahead of the rat race I will forever wonder why...
broken, bleeding and laughing all at the same time

A friend was trying to set me up w his officemate-who he could only describe with "ok lang"...haaayyy sana lang this guy's not gonna be as dumb as the last guy I went out with..remember the powerbooks incident?...hay sometimes tlaga MEN can be soooo stupid...anyways, I remeber telling my friend that I'm not looking for a boyfriend...I'm just dating...pahinga muna ako with all that love chorvalu...pahinga muna...

Worse Things in Life

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I have eloped with my new boyfriend. I have found real passion and he is so nice with all his piercings and tattoos, and his big Harley motorcycle. But Its not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his little trailer in the woods. He wants to have many More children with me and that's one of my life long dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and Ecstasies we may want. In the mean time, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure in order for Ahmed to get better, he deserves so Much. Don't worry mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I will come visit so you can get to know your Grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Amanda


P.S..Mom, this is not true. I'm over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the schools report card that is in my desk drawer .........I love you.
-----------------
I want: peace in my heart
I have: me myself and I
I wish: my heart never got broken
I hate: HIM
I miss: ...him and my old self
I fear: being alone
I feel: HOT..mainit yung araw ;P
I hear: eVe
I crave: for Cibo's La Foresta and chocolate
I search: for my life's meaning & purpose & for my one true love
I wonder: when i'd be able to sleep peacefully and w/o interruption
I regret: falling in love
I love: ....................
I ache: to be with someone...to feel someone's arms around me shielding me from all the pain that life has brought
I long: to go back to hongkong!
I care: what other people say
I don't always: fix my room
I am not: always sad
I believe: that tomorrow will be another day!
I dance: when no one is watching
I sing: in the banyo
I cry: for love lost
I always: make sure that i don't hurt anyone
I fight: for what I believe is right
I write: to heal my wounds
I win: ....
I lose:
I listen:
I am happy: NOT!
I expect: nothing.

I am such a sissy...

For the gipper:

Patti Davis recounted Reagan's last moments in her eulogy at the burial service. "I know that at his last moment, when he opened his eyes, eyes that had not opened for many, many days, and looked at my mother, he showed us that neither disease nor death can conquer love," she said

***when will i find such kind of love...?***

Jun 11, 2004

2:23AM..got woken up by the TV that was left open...since I can't sleep, I decided to surf...aahhhh peace while surfing...i went through some of my old e-mails and read a letter that I wrote to someone...I posted that same letter early this year...

more later..its 3:25...i want to sleep

According to Wikipedia eto pala ang ating pambansang motto natin: National motto: Maka-Diyos, Maka-Tao, Makakalikasan at Makabansa (Filipino: "For Love of God, People, Nature and Country")..syempre ngayon ko lang nalaman na meron pala tayong national motto..yun lang..ni share ko lang...parang fyi ba..kahit na walang saysay hehehehe



"was born with music inside me. That's the only explanation I know of"
I got the pic above from
CNN...such a sad sad day...

Some day, I'll wish upon a star,
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Way up above the chimney tops
Thats where you'll find me


Relating is...
removing your personalty facades and living in the awareness of who you truly are to each other.

Understanding is...
allowing yourself to experience what the other person feels.

Loving someone is...
giving the love you have for yourself to another.

A broken heart is...
the result of failing to love yourself first.

Your better half is...
the other half of yourself.

Fear is...
not knowing what lies at the bottom of your heart.

Hate is...
the mirror of self-ignorance.

Darkness is....
the black hole in your soul.

Light is....
coming out of a dream.

Balance is....
choosing to be neutral about light and dark.

Unification is...
knowing that in every man is a little bit of woman and in every woman is a little bit of man.

A peaceful world is...
at the end of a dark tunnel.

We have just begun to enter it.


Since my fave team (Indiana Pacers)lost the eastern finals and since it so obvious who's gonna win the NBA Championship and to spite Jon (the angel)--we musn't forget the magic word...I'm posting this:



halata bang walang magawa...
Athena
Athena


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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You Are Flirt-able!
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You could flirt more and dress up a bit to attract more guys

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Jun 10, 2004

the 34 y/o guy who's been courting me on-line is sooo persistent. He never fails to ask where I am, how I am, how my day was, I ate na, I'm home na and he never fails to lemme know where he is, how he is and how he loves me despite of the distance...last night, he texted me and told me that he just saw a shooting star when he was at the wharf (its a place in san fo) and that he wished that the day will come when I will tell him that I love him. Of all the wishes that he could have uttered, all he wished for was for me to love him.....

"Do you believe in love? I bet you don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Have you ever seen someone and you know that if only that person really know
you, they'd dump the perfect model they were with and realize that you are the one they want to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with someone you've never talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spent the night confusing a guy in a coma?"
-WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

Jun 9, 2004

Every move you make
by Tom Holladay

“Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make; he's
aware of every step you take.” (Proverbs 5:21, Msg)

The 21st verse of Proverbs 5 has a chameleon quality to it: the way you see the verse is colored by the circumstances you find yourself in.

The verse is good news to me if I'm where I think God wants me to be; giving me energy to do what God wants me to do.

But for all of us there are times when the words, "He’s aware of every step you take," might make us a bit nervous.

There are times when we think, "Lord, could you look somewhere else right now?" This verse then has the feel of, "He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!"

The truth is – God is always there. He knows everything we've done and everything we're doing and everything we're going to do. On hearing this some feel massive guilt – and spend the rest of their lives trying to escape God's "watchful eye."

Great news today! You don't have to live with that burden!! God is a forgiving and loving God!!!

The fact that he sees everything I do shows me how important my life really is. He does not watch me to condemn me, he watches me to love and strengthen me.

Live your life today with the knowledge that even if no one else notices, God does. Even when no one else understands, God does. Even when no one else cares, God certainly does.
Point to ponder: God is always watching – because he loves you.

Verse: “Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make; he's aware of every step you take.” (Proverbs 5:21, Msg)

What will you do about it: If you’ve been avoiding “God’s watchful eye” because you’re feeling guilty or ashamed of something, confess that to God right now. Believe that he loves you and forgives you – and move on.

Prayer: Thank God that he loves you so much he can’t take his eyes off you.
---------

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you'll see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that because two people argue,it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people that you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love and be loved.
I'VE LEARNED ...


I learnt all of these the hard way---the very hard way. I wish that no one of you would ever go through what I went through. I would never wish the same pain on anyone else...

Jun 7, 2004

"Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

For the first time in my almost 3 year stay in PS, I went to the company outing. We went to Club Manila East last sunday after my shift. The place was nice pala..shucks...sana pala I brought my stuff...sayang..but we plan to go back...da ba da ba???

Even my horoscope for last sunday agreed w me:

Sunday, June 6:

Don't even try to be dutiful. You've done enough of that. Today was made for fun, and you're definitely due. Turn off all electronic gadgets and grab your sunscreen

sows!

For Monday, June 7:

You'll definitely be in the mood for something different -- and maybe someone different, too. Don't argue with the Cosmos. Cooperate, and you'll have your choice of goodies from the grab-bag.

So..what has fate in store for me?!?!?! I can't wait I can't wait...but p-l-e-a-s-e NO MORE HEARTACHES!!! one more and I might not live through it anymore...

Whenever i pray, I always make it a point to thank God for giving me so much strenght. so much indeed. I know that I am still in love with him and I am still pining for him but, honestly, I don't feel anything whenever I see him. I don't feel anything whenever he crosses my mind. I don't feel anything whenever I hear him talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Nothing and I don't know why. But, let's not question why, let's just be thankful that I am. Maybe I really don't care anymore. Maybe I don't love him anymore...maybe maybe...we never know...Love and God...what a team...what a team...

"And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on...."..

"Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you."

Jun 6, 2004

"Richard: I thought you said you didn’t need a man.
Ally: I don’t.
Richard: What’s this all about then?
Ally: I want one.”


..there it is..there is my need...

"I know I've got it great, really, good job, good friends, loving family, total freedom, and long bubblebaths. What else could there be?"

Growing With Someone

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, "You don't own because you didn't ask" God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful spouse.

I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about. As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse.One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart :"My servant, I cannot give you what you want" I asked, "Why God?" God said "Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right" I asked "God, I don't understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?"God answered, " I will explain.

It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive; however, you are very insensitive...." He then said to me : "It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one.

Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long an education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow with.

As I was walking out of Paseo Center where I heard mass, I went back and asked the priest if he would hear my confession. And so, in the middle of Paseo Center (just between seattle's and that cake kiosk..hehehehe...), the priest heard my confession. Last January was my first confession after so many month of being a wandering Catholic. I cried then. The priest wasn't that forgiving. After that, I confessed again on Good Friday. The priest was better. I cried then. Then in today's confession, the priest was good. In all 3 confessions, I confessed a lot of things but my # 1 sin was my unforgiving nature. In all 3 confessions, I cried. The priest said that, I should not be guilty that I am still unable to forgive. That I shouldn't be angry at myself for being mad and unforgiving to those who have hurt me because I am still hurting. God, he says, will heal me...will take away all of my hurts...will take away all of my pain...will take away all of my anger at the right time. That I will be healed......in time and that I just be patient.

The Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to
save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again. A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.

But the Hindu said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why
should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"

Don't give up loving. Don't give up your goodness... Even if people around you sting.
(ah, i should tell this to myself...)


"Teach me your way, O Lord and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever" (psalm 86: 11-12)