its a day late but I'm sure wishes don't have expiration dates...so from my family to yours (family: Ace, hundun plus 1), we wish you a Happy Christmas and may the Holy Spirit fill your Christmas with heavenly bliss and happiness

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Finally! after a long absence

i'm in between mg 8th and 9th week of pregnancy.it hasn't been the best pregnancy...everyday seems to be a struggle~an uphill battle that is. from the moment i wake up to the moment I close my eyes. in the morning I feel sick. i am hungry~ravenous at that and there's that quesy feeling of ...vomiting and nausea. at night, I have difficulty sleeping and my sleep is always interrupted with frequent trips to the banyo and the pangs of hunger. poor ace, he has to contend with all that..he barely has time to sleep and rest on his own plus the fact that I don't even want him to touch me..hold my hand, hug or kiss me..blech! but despite of all that you will not hear any tinge of regret or anger or any negative feeling or comment...even when he is pissed na with me he'd still manage a smile for me even when I'm scowling back at him.

There are nights when I just cry because of all the pain...when I just utter why all these pain for something that I've always wanted...
Don't mistake all these for regret. absolutely not. despite all the pain and the tears..everything..i still want and love my baby. we both do. I've waited for so long to have one and I'm gonna try to stick it out till the end.

well, that's it. nothing much to say.

i'm back

just a rundown...but i'll keep the biggest news last :)

1. I found out my lola is now bedridden. she's a type2 diabetic and she fell down a couple of weeks ago. my mom is taking care of her coz she's a feeder. hopefully her health improves

2. I had a fever a week ago for 2 days. then it re-curred last thursday so I had to to the ER to have myself checked since I registered a 38.5. I stayed there from thursday to yesterday. They found out that I had a systematic viral infection and another finding that'll leave to item #3. Then last night I had to go the ER again due to chest pains. This time I went to Makati Med since staying in Cardinal Santos left a bad taste in our mouths. They found out that I had an inflammed ribcage. Cure: paracetamol and bedrest. that was it. and there I was thinking na I had some sort of a heart problem. whew!

3. And the last kwento:

From today: she (we want a girl) is 5 weeks and 6 days old!

Unfortunately, its gonna be a tough ride for me. Doctor says that reason why I had backpain was due to the baby. She gave me medicines to make sure that my baby's stay in my womb is peaceful. the term that she used was: threatened abortion. hopefully, my baby remains to be a good girl and just stays where she is until june of next year. Mommy would be sad if she doesn't

squatter

Someone posted the comment below on my last post.

"making lait the people??? huh!

ur so arte, my gosh, ur not even maganda ...

reason y u cant even wear such kita-na-kaluluwa-skirts coz i bet u have such big legs as in BIG!! it shows!haha ...


such gross english, xadong pa-conyo ... well, dk maganda, wag ka umarte..
duh_huh ...

===

Dear whoever you are,

I didnt' say that I was pretty. did i ever say na I am. stupid.

oh yea I do have big thighs. did i say na I didn't? blame that on my genes. i also have big arms but so what? I have to die for hair and cleavage and a sound mind to go with it. you? i bet you don't. nincompoop.

dude, ask MY friends because you obviously aren't and you can't be my friend if you can't even spell well and you don't even know simple blogging rules. I really speak this way. Am i conyo? who's to tell? if you're description of being a conyo is someone who 1) studied in a catholic all girls school somewhere in Makati 2) who speaks english and tagalog to make up a sentence 3) who makes lait all the time....then you got me there. I am indeed a conyo. I am an Assumptionista. True blue and damn proud of it. ikaw san ka nagaral? I speak both English and Tagalog in a sentence not because I'm conyo but because I know how to speak it. ikaw you know how ba? i guess your minute mind, if you have one that is, can't even decipher that. MY friends know that I'm a self confessed Laitera but so what?

so what's your beef? if you don't have anything to do don't diss me on my own blog. you're so tanga that you don't know blogging rule #1: you don't diss the owner of the blog on her own blog. you respect how I write and why I write for the simple reason that this is MY blog. capisce? intiendes?

next time, you take care dah-ling. you take very good care on what you say especially about me. you know why? because I know who you are and where you are and I can hunt you down even if you're in that internet shop. I don't like anyone dissing me.

o here it is

my birhtday went by just like that...big blah!

nothing to make kwento. the usual birhtday treat sa office that was gobbled up in less than 2 hours! and dinner treat in Somethin' Fishy in Eastwood. Before the early morning (call time was 12MN), we were in Eastwood na early palang. Was supposed to watch a movie but we didn't make it in time. We, instead, played Bowling (which I lost by mere 2 points lang and by sheer luck by my kalaban :P ) and some videogames in...yun na yun..we went around a bit and did some shopping (du-uh what else!?!?!) but the best part was sitting down and watching people passing by...we were (or it was more of me pala) making lait the people who were wearing sexy outfits for people to notice them kse they're so panget, the girls who were wearing konti nalang kita mo na ang kaluluwa skirts and simply anyone who was just panget.

that was that...it was just a blah (and I was saying that with my tongue stuck out)...

the gift? oh yea! Chas ..sige na nga and Tin gave me a DVD of Sharon and Rowell's Cross my Heart (how Jologs I know but so what I'm a sharonian), Ace gave me a watch (nice!) and lest I forget the QA team brought cake..yummy! i still have the candle na pang brownout!

...sometimes people have to be in a situation and see how fate turns out for them.. thats how life is...when things happen you let them happen and stand for what you put yourself into.. you may get out of it and learn or go with it and still learn. But i know what you mean when you say, these are the kinds of situations when some relationships shatter and people break down... and i hate it too...

Sometimes you can only do so much...you can't help someone if they don't want to listen...you can't help if they don't want to see it the way you see it...so I just have to stand back and let them be even if they stumble and fall...you just have to be ready to pull them up after they fall...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."

I saw a friend yesterday...and I remember how it was...to be hurt...to have your heart broken by another...i was the same sorry state just a year and some months ago (jon at the background: your goal your goal your goal!). some stupid bloke (read: moron, 2 timer, nincompoop, cheater, labo guy) broke my heart just to make me palit with some yaya looking cebuana.

argh those fucking feelings again...why do we even remember things we want to forget!?!?!...as maricel soriano would say: erase! erase! erase!..maybe i can go through the Lacuna procedure or is there some switch in my head to turn off or to delete all the painful memories...don't we have the clear your cache and delete all cookies button somewhere?!?!?!...jezuuz, i never wanted to remember..i never want to feel the same feelings ever again...ever...and it was just a dam of emotions all bottled up......fuck it....i never wanted to remember...

Noah Calhoun : You know I want to give you everything you want. But I can't. It's broken.

I did not write this because I remember that moron. I remember the feelings..the emotions...i do not remember the person or the love that was wasted...lest i get misconstrued...I remember the pain...and it makes me take a step back...why am i letting myself go through all that again...

overhauled!

double takes! full minute stare! shocked faces! why's, when's and yes, even what the fucks! hay naku!

I had hair this short (pero long pa din)


this long


this long


and this looong..this was just above my waist!


but I never had hair this short!

I was looking for a day spa and look what results it gave me ***scratches head***
---> skytrek? for the "boys" spa

---> Spam Jam??? DUH

morons

There is a big, knappy hair in my sundae.

when i was kid, we used to have a clock that looks this this... It was a clock my mom bought to make sure that me, my 2 stupid brothers and my yaya wake up at 430am! I studied grade school all the way in Antipolo soI had to be picked up by the Rebollido (then it was the Cuyugan) bus at that Godforsaken hour. Anyhow, that clock worked for a while. it was my hatest thing in the whole world at that time..the next being my very VERY heavy backpack that I had to bring to school every fuckin' day. I said for awhile coz after weeks of being rudely woken up by that clock (I tell you it was enough to wake the whooollee house with its blasted sound), I started a new hobby! It was the throw-the-alarm-clock-when-it-rings hobby. Eventually, it broke down (wweeeee!) after being thrown unceremoniously across the room and at times down the stairs (it won't stop e!) , My mom got us another one just like that. I think they costs a hundred and plus then...at that time 100 bucks still got you somewhere but after a while those things "mysteriously" broke after a couple of days..my mom and my lola tried the no alarm clock lets wake up early style for a couple of days but my poor dad got the brunt of it coz they always woke up late.....just in time to hear Mang Tanay's , the bus driver, signature pot-pot and because of that my dad had to bring me all the way to Antipolo! Hehehehehe....So my dear mother got one of those cheapo alarm clocks..the ones that you hear sa bangketa. But, alas, they just met the same fate as their predecessors and being the cheapo that they are they just got smashed after being thrown once lang. The mahal ones lasted a couple of throws though...

so now i feel the same way...i feel that the alarm clock is ticking somewhere and is about to peel... its the saturday morning and in a few hours I'll be back in the office

...something that I do not relish... argh! bakit ang bilis! why God why!?!?! I'm trying not to hit the sack muna..why kse it makes time go faster e....hay naku I better fix my stuff na coz for sure I'll be running late mamaya coz I'll be so tamad to get my flat butt up from my cozy bed

maybe I can call in sick.... ...hhmmmm what a thought.....

My appointment with my new dentist went quite well. Like usual, i had my initial apprehensions...of course! I'm scared of dentists what do you expect?!?!?! My old one migrated to the States so I had to find a new one and thank God for friends, I quickly had a new one in the guise of my friend, Rica. How we became friends would eat up another entry but just a gist both of our ex-es, Inigo and Carroll, are part of this very close-knit barkada. Anyway, I sat on the Chamber of Pain for roughly about 2 and a half hours. I didn't have anything major done since she says that I would need an oral (or was that dental) surgeon for some tooth to get extracted because it couldn't be done through the usual extraction..yada yada yada yada...anyhow, after that, Ace and I, went to Megamall to eat after that we decided to get a massage and a facial..God knows I baaddddllyy need one....I usually go to Urban Spa (you can include this on my gift list!!!) in Shangri-La but since we were in Megamall...why not try a different one! So we tried the services of the Holistic Circle Inc. (SM MegaMall 5th Level, Bldg. A Tel. 634-7271, 914-4376---> commercial pa!). The ambiance at first was ok until I heard people talking and utensils clanging (not so loudly of course) as it turns out the room that we were in was just beside the main hallway that separated the other rooms plus the lounge area of people who were working there and we were just hidden from everyone's prying eyes by a banig and some stuff pa ( i didn't try to investigate anymore)...there was also no soothing music nor those wasping aromatherapy amoys lit in the room. there was a candle alright but it was just for decors. the massage was ok..nothing great BUT not good either...i always thought that massages should start from the head down to the shoulders and the feet being last. This is time it was jumbled...legs then back then arms and aaaa basta labo labo na so it wasn't that soothing tlaga...kainis...then after that the masahistas handed us a small envelope for their tips..for God's sake! sana sa front desk nalanag nakalagay! After that we were led to the facial area..labo no??? sarap first then pain...tsk tsk....over-all rating--->1.5....sige na nga a 2 nalang (pilit pa)..would I go back there? my still aching back sez no.

off to a 4 day weekend...i was dying for this!!! absolutely dying...i was getting pissed na here and there...i usually have a sunny disposition but for some reason I was getting really really irked na...with the customer who thinks that she's high and mighty just because I was pinoy (du-uh! sana marunong ka mag spell muna no you ugly american)...i wanna ramble on about some people here on the team but delicadeza gags my mouth so zip it hundun!...and I was tired na tlaga...dead tired! So no going out or going to the mall--(weh?) but just plain rest and fix my poor house :(

(you see the red underlined portion?if not, click on the pic)

things to do:

TeUsDay:
1. wash all my clothes
2. fix master's bedroom (this is where I'm bunking nowadays)
3. transfer some of my stuff to my old room
4. fix my itunes list
5. clean out my yahoo mail
6. have a main pwd file on my pc
7. fix my faves list
8. fix my address book
9. DVD marathon!!!!

WeDNEsdaY:
1. pa fix pc monitors
2. pa fix my tv
3. Go to SSS
4. Have my nails done
5. go to the my OB

Thur$day:
1. Go to my new Dentist (I totally hate this!)

FrIday:
....to be announced..depends if I don't get sick after my dental work

Katherine: It's a nice little villa. Are you going to buy it?
Frances: The way my life is currently going, that would be a terrible idea.
Katherine: Terrible idea... Don't you just love those?
(Under the Tuscan Sun)


be afraid...be very afraid...


i uttered a silent prayer to the wind many moons ago
it was a whisper....a silent cry from the deep recesses of my heart
it was a whisper....
a silent cry
a whispered scream
a soundless shrill..... a hushed blare
a muted shout
an unuttered screech
noiseless howl

it was tossed to the wind with a fervent prayer and with an unfailing hope and a sempiternal faith
that it will find its way....that it will glide to the expressway of prayers to God street...and bring forth a riposte....

and it did...

do i answer it?

--end--

An ingrate, I assure you I am not...but the my battle scars show so prominently ...not on the outside but inside and I am but a cesspool of scars...all a thousand and one if i may say....

they say that when we utter a prayer we also must be ready for the answer however it may be...and this is one answer that I thought would never be answered....I almost had given up hope

......Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise

ehem ehem ----> you see that on the right side of the page? a bit lower than this line...just above the snake..you see that?!?!?!?! lapit na no?

Just to help you out (major hint!) (updated!)

Books:

Ipod Accesories:

Griffin iTrip Xtreme Mac Air Play Transmitter

Navi Pro Ex (for a tamad like me) Armband (Pink, please)

DVD: