...and I'm about to run away. won't you hold my hand to calm my fears before I let go of my second chance on love coz my fear is drowning me... (Adnileb)

Fear
(Sarah McLachlan)

morning smiles
like the face of a newborn child
innocent unknowing
winter's end
promises of a long lost friend
speaks to me of comfort

but i fear
i have nothing to give
i have so much to lose here in this lonely place
tangled up in your embrace
there's nothing i'd like better than to fall but i fear
i have nothing to give

wind in time
rapes the flower trembling on the vine
and nothing leads to shelter it
from above
they say temptation will destroy our love
the never ending hunger

but i fear
i have nothing to give
i have so much to lose here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace
there's nothing i'd like better than to fall
but i fear
i have nothing to give
i have so much to lose
i have nothing to give
we have so much to lose

kaje: wassup with ur lovelife?
hundun : hey
hundun : 'eto scared shitless
kaje : why're ur blog entries like that?
hundun : why?
kaje : like as u said it.. love makes u scared shitless?
hundun : yuh


kaje : love is love. savor it while u can.
hundun : i know
hundun : kaso its the emotional investment
hundun : that im wary of
hundun : he's not nman pressuring me *edited*
hundun : pero everytime we're together makes me fall deeper and deeper
hundun : punyeta
hundun : i like all the kilig stuff
kaje : when u worry about it too much, and about what happens next, u take for granted its presence and the momentum gets lost
hundun : pero....
kaje : iyanla vanzant says, our thoughts create reality.if u keep thinking u might get hurt again, then that's what u just might get in the end.
kaje : dont ruin the rest of ur life just bec some jerk broke ur heart. this could be the person who could give u what ur looking for.
hundun : i know but..really really scared
kaje : what're u scared of? that u'll get hurt?
kaje : it's inevitable
kaje : and as they always say.. it's a risk
hundun : the hurt
hundun : lahat

kaje : ayyy
kaje : *TOOT* only 22
hundun : yan pa ang isa!
hundun : he's younger!
kaje : and ur?? ...*TOOT*
kaje : aw sorry.
hundun : bothered na nga ko sa age gap namin ni aids dati na 2 years
hundun : eto namn mas bata
kaje : it only becomes an issue if you make it one.
hundun: pero still the thought
kaje : rmember R and C?
kaje : they're 22
kaje : it came to mind
kaje : but it doesnt matter.
hundun : eeee...
hundun : it doesnt ultimately pero its at the back of my mind
kaje : why do u complicate ur life soo much?
hundun : I DONT KNOW KATHERINE I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!!
kaje : isa kang masochista
hundun : i guess it because life has thrown me a lot of curveballs that i just keep on batting and batting not knowing if i'd ever hit the ball or not
hundun : *its
kaje : youre giving urself unnecessary problems.
hundun : and that's why imma pitcher...
hundun : *baseball pun
kaje : if ur a pitcher, it means u can pitch the ball any direction u want. why not go for the straight throw?
hundun : thing is...in this game im not the pitcher
kaje : LABO MO
hundun : life is the game and i'm not pitching
hundun : life does
hundun : just like everyone else im just a batter
hundun : and im the fourth batter at that
hundun : so, in baseball terms, thats the worst batter
kaje : I get ur pt. I meant, labo mo kase. Now here's a another chance bein thrown ur way. another shot at what-might-be a great love... and ur complicating it too much.
kaje : take away the garble of being the batter and the pitcher.
kaje : leave it to just: belle and *TOOT* likes each other.
kaje : enjoy it while it lasts.
kaje : if not, then move on.
hundun : hhaayyy...
hundun : this year's love better not last
hundun : better last pala

I have kwento!

all i know was that we were going to Bora on the 19th and that our flight was at 920am. that was all the information that i had and that was all that I needed to know...

Bora though beautiful was not what I thought it was...the sunsets were spectacular though...yes, the sand was like powder and they never seem to get hot...and so did I...food was great...water was clear...clear enough that i could see that @#$%)#&*#_$ fish that prowled around my feet...go away fishy fishy..tin:they're friendly fishes! nakasmile pa...i want my fish on my plate and not kissing my feet!

i'm not a swimmer...on the beach i'd rather stay on the sand underneath the sweltering rays of the sun trying my damnest to get myself a tan while reading a book and listening to my cds...and that's what I did...that, for me, was my personal heaven...

...Daydreamed on the bank again
I was swimming with the fish
And I thought this time that it may be true

But My toes just touched the water...


and I am back...and not as dark as I wanted to be...