Nov 13, 2004


am i confused or what?


Welcome To My Life
(Simple Plan)


Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Nov 11, 2004

"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance, and the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken that never learns to give and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."

this is so apropos!

everything is a blur...


now i'm dazed confused and...scared shitless...serious talks scare the hell out of me...it turns my self protection mode on *viper on*

Nov 10, 2004

dazed and confused...

"It doesn't take very long to love someone. Not when you look through the eyes of the heart." Marlyn Langer

230am
i've been staring at my pc for 42 minutes and I still don't know what to blog about. my yosi's ubos na and I'm still here not knowing what to write. I'll sleep first...need to recharge my thinking cells

1212pm
still the same..much more now...

a thousand miles and i gather strength from you still...

Kaje: ay belle, punyeta, gulo ng utak mo.
Belle: i know
Belle: i know
Kaje: kung sino yung magsistick no matter what, yun ang importante. kung sino mamahalin ka ng totoo. hindi yung sasaktan ka lang. hindi yung pangmadalian, unless yun ang gusto mo.
Belle: of course not
Kaje: and of course, kung sino yung talagang gusto mo.
Kaje: the one who you cant be without.
Belle: haaayyy
Kaje: yes.. parang pipili ka na ng papakasalan noh..
Kaje: i mean can be without
Kaje: i mean cant be without .. tangangertz talaga ako
Belle: that was nice
Kaje: at least for now
Kaje: dont think about forever okay?
Kaje: that thought complicates things.

I miss you Kaje :( You were the group's non chalant-i dont care girl. You always had wise words for your madaling ma-attach-mahirap-mag-let-go but pretty friends Remember when jerk and I broke up, you were the first one i texted because I knew then that i need your strength and i needed your non chalant devil may care attitude to rub off on me. Now, a thousand miles away, i'm still gathering strength from you...still hanging on to your wise words hoping that they may instill some sanity in my life...


Nov 9, 2004


morning kiss..icka girl and not-not-so funny-tita belle =)

got home nga relatively early pero here I am blogging at 230am when i should be resting since i've been very sleepy and tired for the past couple of days...it may not look it but really i am...add that to the fact you constantly worry about things that, as Kaje said, I shouldn't even be worrying about...hassle!

Sullen Girl

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel to take flight

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

Is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed me shore and he took my pearl
And left an empty shell of me

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

Nov 7, 2004

"If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt." (Before Sunrise)

when it rains it pours...smiling like a fool as myls said...ikaw lang ang nakita kong naka-smile sa Excel...escalated call nakatawa ka?....

can't blog about it...can but won't is more like it...

Saturday night, was spent in Richmonde Hotel with my friends Meian, Emer, Vianca and Vianca's kids Ique and Icka.

checked out of the hotel around 130pm headed straight for Breton for supposedly a nice and quiet reading time--not! i wasn't even able to finish my food...again, i won't blog about it...such things happen only when you let it get to you..when you let that kind of emotion get the better of you...argh!...i have the choice to feel or what not feel in such situations but...but...fuckin A! use your head Belinda not your heart!

in the office right now, essential tools are down. finally have the time to catch up on my reading...feeling lethargic, confused and kinda sad...one word: HHHAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!