“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part”
Dec 25, 2009
its christmas finally. unlike any other christmas-es i wasnt so sipag this year. i wasnt so organized. i had bits and pieces of stuff that I did and somehow tried to act on it via yaya and that was it. turns out decent but if my ghost of christmas past was here it'll be chasing me till kingdom come.
this year i decided to start a personal tradition. now we make our christmas list every year right? i usually start mine by oct or november and its always entitled Christmas (then the year). That lists always chnges every year bec of friends who moved, died, etc...i decided this year that every year henceforth I would have a group of select friends who I cherished. these people are my closest friend or friends who have touched my life. these are the people who i cherish and would say thanks to them whether or not we saw each other that year by giving them a christmas gift.
last nyt we had an early noche buena bec the dad has to go to work by 11. we had baby back ribs w seared pineapple, mashed potato w bacon bits and corn and carrots. the kids love corn and carrots their forever favorite. i loved my ribs w pineapple. good bye calorie count.
the kids had tons of gifts! they both stayed awake till 10pm. thats late for them since they're usually knocked out by 7 or 8pm.
i wanna catch a few Zzzz before they wake up so i leave you all with this
“Happiness comes in many forms — in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.
this year i decided to start a personal tradition. now we make our christmas list every year right? i usually start mine by oct or november and its always entitled Christmas (then the year). That lists always chnges every year bec of friends who moved, died, etc...i decided this year that every year henceforth I would have a group of select friends who I cherished. these people are my closest friend or friends who have touched my life. these are the people who i cherish and would say thanks to them whether or not we saw each other that year by giving them a christmas gift.
last nyt we had an early noche buena bec the dad has to go to work by 11. we had baby back ribs w seared pineapple, mashed potato w bacon bits and corn and carrots. the kids love corn and carrots their forever favorite. i loved my ribs w pineapple. good bye calorie count.
the kids had tons of gifts! they both stayed awake till 10pm. thats late for them since they're usually knocked out by 7 or 8pm.
i wanna catch a few Zzzz before they wake up so i leave you all with this
“Happiness comes in many forms — in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.
Dec 16, 2009
Dec 12, 2009
the last 24 hours has been traumatizing for me...its one of those times (which I would pray would be the last) when I feel that I really am a mother...
my youngest grabbed his grand uncle's hot mug of coffee yesterday morning and spilt it on his arms, chest and legs. I was asleep when it happened but they woke me up and I brought him to Manila Doctors.
He received thermal burns both 1st and 2nd degree according to the ER doctors.
He wouldnt quit crying everytime especially when he was being treated.
My litany of Haily Mary's saved my heart and my piece of mind.
A nice doctor even asked if maybe they should hold Inigo while they dress the wound and I could just watch from afar since tears were already rolling down my cheeks. But surprisingly I said no. Come to think of it...there really was no question. My son needed to be held by someone who could soothe him and it was just me and no one else.
for the next 7 days I have to clean and re-dress the wound twice a day.
i've done it twice already and its the most exhausting thing that I have to do..mentally and emotionally exhausting, that is.
it tears my heart to know that I am hurting my son by cleaning his wound everytime and because he cries and wails and thrases, it takes about 30mins or so to clean and re-dress the wound. By the time I finish, its like a ran a whole 5k marathon.
it'll be a challenge for the nextfew days but hopefully my son would heal fast- both physically and emotionally.
this is one of those times that I hold on to whoever that said that babies are more resilient that they seem to be
my youngest grabbed his grand uncle's hot mug of coffee yesterday morning and spilt it on his arms, chest and legs. I was asleep when it happened but they woke me up and I brought him to Manila Doctors.
He received thermal burns both 1st and 2nd degree according to the ER doctors.
He wouldnt quit crying everytime especially when he was being treated.
My litany of Haily Mary's saved my heart and my piece of mind.
A nice doctor even asked if maybe they should hold Inigo while they dress the wound and I could just watch from afar since tears were already rolling down my cheeks. But surprisingly I said no. Come to think of it...there really was no question. My son needed to be held by someone who could soothe him and it was just me and no one else.
for the next 7 days I have to clean and re-dress the wound twice a day.
i've done it twice already and its the most exhausting thing that I have to do..mentally and emotionally exhausting, that is.
it tears my heart to know that I am hurting my son by cleaning his wound everytime and because he cries and wails and thrases, it takes about 30mins or so to clean and re-dress the wound. By the time I finish, its like a ran a whole 5k marathon.
it'll be a challenge for the nextfew days but hopefully my son would heal fast- both physically and emotionally.
this is one of those times that I hold on to whoever that said that babies are more resilient that they seem to be
Dec 9, 2009
dont you wish that at times there's an UNDO button? sometimes..ugh most of the time I wish there was....like when you let go of someone you love just because they weren't there...like when you crossed the street because you thought it was safe to do so and only to find out that you were sorely mistaken...like when you fell in love with someone you thought loved you back and only to find out they weren't sure in the end....
Dec 8, 2009
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
Dec 3, 2009
i hear christmas songs on the radio and on the streets...i feel the chilly wind in the morning..i see the houses decked with chrismas decors and lights...and yet there seems to be something amiss...i can't quite put my finger to it but there's something not quire right...
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words... Let It Be.." - The Beatles
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words... Let It Be.." - The Beatles
Oct 22, 2009
I keep....trying for you
- Sade
its like lighting a candle on a windy day...
its like grasping for a towel in the shower knowing you really did forget to bring one
its like watching The Proposal or The Love Affair for the nth time
its like.....being unable to breathe...... and you remember.....you can't......
“You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you dies each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason.”
| — | Ernest Hemingway |
Oct 21, 2009
Three days ago, I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab. Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska and things started to changed. Things changed when we kissed. And when you told me about your tattoo. Even when you checked me out when we were naked. But I didn't realize any of this, until I was standing alone... in a barn... wifeless. Now, you could imagine my disappointment when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country. So Margaret, marry me, because I'd like to date you
bakit pa ba ko nanonood ng mga ganitong movie?
bakit pa ba ko nanonood ng mga ganitong movie?
Sep 24, 2009
i got my calculator and did the math..to be honest i've forgotten how old I was....im not trying to hide my age but for some reason..maybe sa tagal i really did forget na...i got a total of 3 cakes and 1 ice cream on my birthday..sarap. thanks to Ace, Van, Batch 68 and Arlyn for the cakes and Ice Cream from Tin. You added more calories to my calorie laden body :D
What did I do since I was on a 3 day weekend...nothing much...treated my family to Amber's Pancit and pichi-pichie...then slept...on wednesday the kids (4 toddlers!!!) and ate lunch in McDonald then played for an hour in Fun Ranch. We left when there was bus load of kids from a chinese school that had their field trip in Fun Ranch (why do they go to play gyms and malls nowadays instead of the Planetarium, Manila Zoo, etc?). They were 6-7 yrs olds so my posse was not only outnumbered but bullied as well so I decided to bring them somewhere else. Went to Tiendesitas to look at the spiders, snakes and scorpions...Miggy kse was looking for Spiderman so I gave him the real thing..hehehe...we had dirty ice cream then went home before the color coding window was up...
the next day, we went to Greenhills and fixed our milyones in the bank then spent a a few hrs in Krispy Kreme to update my Ipod Touch apps and laptop. slept when i got home..then that was it....nothing great happened..after all it was just another birthday.....
What did I do since I was on a 3 day weekend...nothing much...treated my family to Amber's Pancit and pichi-pichie...then slept...on wednesday the kids (4 toddlers!!!) and ate lunch in McDonald then played for an hour in Fun Ranch. We left when there was bus load of kids from a chinese school that had their field trip in Fun Ranch (why do they go to play gyms and malls nowadays instead of the Planetarium, Manila Zoo, etc?). They were 6-7 yrs olds so my posse was not only outnumbered but bullied as well so I decided to bring them somewhere else. Went to Tiendesitas to look at the spiders, snakes and scorpions...Miggy kse was looking for Spiderman so I gave him the real thing..hehehe...we had dirty ice cream then went home before the color coding window was up...
the next day, we went to Greenhills and fixed our milyones in the bank then spent a a few hrs in Krispy Kreme to update my Ipod Touch apps and laptop. slept when i got home..then that was it....nothing great happened..after all it was just another birthday.....
Sep 7, 2009
“Right under my feet is air made of bricks
That pulls me down turns me weak for you
find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
That pulls me down turns me weak for you
find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I fall back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You’ve burnt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I’m standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead
Well I hear your words you made up
I say your name like there should be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love.”
| — | Adele | Melt my heart to stone |
Sep 3, 2009
my little brother's here in the country. he unexpectedly arrived last sunday w gf and 2 sons...where he is now? i dunno..he went off to some province and hasnt come back yet....kuwawa wla pa naman Eye to Eye na ngayon...anway, i got some new toys again. a new graco duo glider stroller for my kids, my dad gave me his old school camera w long range lens pa plus a hew hp laptop...ahlavet.
i dont even want to blog about whats been going on sa office. bottomline is.....it sucks. the pay doesnt commensurate w the amout of work anymore. its takes away a lot of my time everyday. thats time away from my kids..not counting for my self anymore but my kids.
i havent been attending a lot of get togethers w my friends lately. why? #1 rest. i barely have time to rest anymore. halos wala na so as much as i would want to go out w my friends i cant. its not that i dont want to but i cant. sorry marc. sorry tin. #2 time in conjuction w #1 na din but i can usually meet up if its immediatly after my end shift but if its before..naku good luck. even if its my rd i'd rather spend it w my kids. #3 for some strange reason i dont have the stamina anymore. after taking care of 2 rumbunctious boys all day plus the neverending thankless work wla na..bottomline..wag na magtrabaho.
i dont even want to blog about whats been going on sa office. bottomline is.....it sucks. the pay doesnt commensurate w the amout of work anymore. its takes away a lot of my time everyday. thats time away from my kids..not counting for my self anymore but my kids.
i havent been attending a lot of get togethers w my friends lately. why? #1 rest. i barely have time to rest anymore. halos wala na so as much as i would want to go out w my friends i cant. its not that i dont want to but i cant. sorry marc. sorry tin. #2 time in conjuction w #1 na din but i can usually meet up if its immediatly after my end shift but if its before..naku good luck. even if its my rd i'd rather spend it w my kids. #3 for some strange reason i dont have the stamina anymore. after taking care of 2 rumbunctious boys all day plus the neverending thankless work wla na..bottomline..wag na magtrabaho.
Jul 30, 2009
so its been busy busy buys
on the 18th we celebrated Inigo's 1st birthday at our favorite ice cream place Magnolia House ...errr Nestel Creamery....i'm used to calling it thge old magnolia house since that is its original name...we chose the place not just because its my happy place when I was a kid and ergo i want it to be my kids' as well but becaue their food is great and their host is very good. thank you for all those you celebrated with us
Times like these, dark times, they do funny things to people. They can tear them apart.
watched the 6th series last Wednesday at Greenhills Theatre Mall. not tht great but it was ok. dunno why people think it was pffttt
i'm not giving up...one day he'll say yes and i have it ready....
on the 18th we celebrated Inigo's 1st birthday at our favorite ice cream place Magnolia House ...errr Nestel Creamery....i'm used to calling it thge old magnolia house since that is its original name...we chose the place not just because its my happy place when I was a kid and ergo i want it to be my kids' as well but becaue their food is great and their host is very good. thank you for all those you celebrated with us
Times like these, dark times, they do funny things to people. They can tear them apart.
watched the 6th series last Wednesday at Greenhills Theatre Mall. not tht great but it was ok. dunno why people think it was pffttt
i'm not giving up...one day he'll say yes and i have it ready....
Jul 18, 2009
Jun 8, 2009
May 6, 2009
late bloomer....never did I once try to watch One Tree Hill until last weekend because I did not have anything else to watch...surprisingly I liked it...hehehe now im browsing through YouTube looking for past episodes
“At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, that war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one.”
true. just one out of the billions.....no trillions.....errr.....gazillions people in the world...just one person would make the difference...no matter if those gazillions of people would worship you like a god or would feign at your feet every time you pass by...it makes no difference at all if that one significant person does not even know you exist..............or has forgotten that you have.....
"It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny." Jean Nidetch
“At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, that war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one.”
true. just one out of the billions.....no trillions.....errr.....gazillions people in the world...just one person would make the difference...no matter if those gazillions of people would worship you like a god or would feign at your feet every time you pass by...it makes no difference at all if that one significant person does not even know you exist..............or has forgotten that you have.....
"It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny." Jean Nidetch
Apr 27, 2009
Mar 23, 2009
Mar 9, 2009
in between slaving for a company that will never compensate me for all the blood sweat tears and time away from my family, I'm trying to build my site that may or may not built at all since the website creator that I'm using sucks or if it does get built no one would even try to visit the site..oh well...happyness!
Feb 25, 2009
My Lakbayan grade is D!
How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!
Created by Eugene Villar.Feb 24, 2009
a few more days and we're off to Bora...ace, the kids and I are going for our quarterly vacation! can't wait and its Ace's and the kids' first time in Bora..excited excited
quarterly..yes you read it right..quarterly...at the start of the year some of the resolutions that I made was for me to fulfill my neverending passion for travel. So i resolved that every quarter of the year I, with the family of course, would travel to anywhere basta outside of smog filled Manila. For the 1st q of 2009, we're all going to see the fine white sands of Bora. Incidentally, this isn't my first time to travel for this quarter since I count my team's Tagaytay trip as the #1 for this year.
For the 2nd q, I'm thinking of either tagaytay again or Baguio..or even Subic agan. We still have vouchers for the package that we got from last year and that's only good till September of this year. But for now Bora muna then we'll see!
other things that happened for the first quarter....we now have 2 yayas! its magastos but how can one pay for peace of mind....we just bought a new TV...42" hehehehe ....and since we have a new TV boss..it's always barney spidey movies nemo cars einstein videos...barney is soooo huge!
quarterly..yes you read it right..quarterly...at the start of the year some of the resolutions that I made was for me to fulfill my neverending passion for travel. So i resolved that every quarter of the year I, with the family of course, would travel to anywhere basta outside of smog filled Manila. For the 1st q of 2009, we're all going to see the fine white sands of Bora. Incidentally, this isn't my first time to travel for this quarter since I count my team's Tagaytay trip as the #1 for this year.
For the 2nd q, I'm thinking of either tagaytay again or Baguio..or even Subic agan. We still have vouchers for the package that we got from last year and that's only good till September of this year. But for now Bora muna then we'll see!
other things that happened for the first quarter....we now have 2 yayas! its magastos but how can one pay for peace of mind....we just bought a new TV...42" hehehehe ....and since we have a new TV boss..it's always barney spidey movies nemo cars einstein videos...barney is soooo huge!
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