i was trying to start a series of posts...but TOO much work got in the way...so before I find the time to be able to start that series (yes, its already in my drafts list!) lemme just say something....

it is a bad day for me...a combination of lack of sleep...too much work...people not doing what they are asked to do...bit off someone's head off (no, that's not you but someone else)...found out that there's this guy is making "the moves" at me...and, as a cherry on top or an extra icing on your cake, the King of Sablays is at it again!

as Jodon would say: champion! ayos!



minsan lang naman ako magka bad day...normally im very indulgent about other people's requests, quirks and whatevers but last sunday was an exception...pero minsan lang naman ako magka bad day...


"We hope someday to be saints," the Don said, "But not martyrs." (The Last Don)

O Beautiful Affliction
Merciful pain
This mortal wounding bringing me to life again
In suffering there’s healing
This darkness revealing
Silence speaking volumes to my soul
O Beautiful Affliction
Blessed brokenness that makes me whole- David Baroni


This insightful poem of his own creation, obviously gleaned from some pretty painful personal experience. It is so hard for us to get this message, surrounded as we are by other ways of thinking that promise us the opposite of suffering. Everything in our culture seems designed to relieve or avoid suffering and pain—certainly not welcome it with open arms.

Now relieving pain and suffering is an honorable task and something to take advantage of, should we, or those we love, become afflicted with disease or injury. Medical science and nature have provided us with significant pain relievers that I believe are gifts of God to help ease suffering. But the notion that pain and suffering should not be our lot, and there is something wrong if it does come our way, is wrong. Paul went as far as to say that we cannot share in Christ’s glory without sharing also in His suffering and death.

“As a result, I can really know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I can learn what it means to suffer with Him, sharing in His death, so that, somehow, I can experience the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11 NLT)!

That’s the one thing about resurrection power that we often forget: something has to die for it to be experienced. Resurrection power is not handed out to healthy, well-adjusted successful people. Resurrection power is not a way to add on to your faith. It’s not like going down to the spiritual gym and working out until you build up a good amount of resurrection power. It’s not like adding some power drink or multi-spiritual vitamins to your spiritual regimen. You don’t add devotional time with God in order to burst you spiritual buttons with newly formed resurrection power (Step aside spiritual giants!). No. There’s only one way to get resurrection power. You suffer and die for it. You get cut down, humiliated, slammed in the face, and knocked flat on your back. You don’t get pumped up. Quite the opposite, you get everything pumped out of you, and that’s when you rise again—when there is absolutely no way anything could possibly come from you.

That’s precisely why we can call this a “Beautiful Affliction,” because it brought us to this. This is not some vicarious experience where we imagine ourselves dead and then imagine ourselves alive to Christ. It is a dying experience—a face-to-face encounter with our own mortality from which we do not rise if we do not get help from somewhere else, and our help comes from the Lord.

...allow me to stop and think...

Like birds, let us leave behind what we dont need to carry-grudges, sadness, pain,
fear, and regrets.

Let us not think about the pain we went through but the lesson it taught us not how
much we cried and hurt but how much we smiled and loved

Amazing grace comes from the gentle acceptance of life is simply the way it is.
Life has its own season and reasons. Take it as it comes.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

teka waits!

I just got out of 14 hour shift but been in the office for 16 hours.....my brain's not working anymore...it refuses to work...my back hurts like hell and I'm sleepy...so forgive me if I don't laugh heartily as I used to or if my smile seemed "plastic" or if my face looks like it met Cassius Clay's fast hands....

"I don't get angry very often. I lose my temper rarely. And when I do, there's always a legitimate cause. Normally I have a great lightness of being. I take things in a very happy, amused way. " (Julia Roberts)

go to Google and type: perfect woman...labo no?

The Perfect Person
J. M. Whitaker

For as long as I can remember, I have been searching for the perfect girl. Since I was old enough to begin longing for female companionship, I have been on the hunt. I guess it started out as just a simple dream or fantasy, not unlike most of us. The strange thing about it was that it never stayed just a dream or a fantasy. The more people I dated, the more times I was let down, the more I hungered for that perfect person, the one that would fill all of my needs and desires, the one thatwould never let me down. I dated girl after girl. Some of them were great while others got me into some trouble. Some of them made me laugh, but a lot of them made me cry. Through my journey, I found a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow, a lot of happiness and a lot of pain, but never the perfect girl. I had dreamed about her. Dark hair, darker eyes, a slim figure tinted golden brown from the sun. She had an accent and could play the cello. She would love to talk, but wouldn't expect me to talk too much. She would always ask me how my day was and would always have a smile on her face; absolute perfection. I began to devise methods in how I would meet the girls I would date. I knew I wanted an intelligent girl, so I hung out in libraries and museums. I meet this real crazy girl at a library after school one day. She wassmart and sexy and, well? crazy. I would rather not go into a lot ofdetails about it. Let's just say she had some real deep-seated anxieties about our relationship and, consequentially, our break up.
I knew I wanted an artistic girl, so I went to music stores and coffee shops, I even tried a couple of classical concerts. I met this wonderfully cute girl who dressed really dark and loved to write poetry. She was great, we used to stay up all night long talking about the silliest things, but she ended up dumping me for some guy who did drugs and rode a motorcycle.
I got into a car accident with a girl driving a Pontiac Sunfire. She had no driver's license or car insurance, but she did have a really great smile and the prettiest hair. Instead of calling the police, we called in sick and went out to eat. We dated for a while but eventually came across an irreconcilable difference inopinions. She didn't always feel the need to come "straight home" after work. Okay, to be honest, toward the end of our relationship, she rarely came home at all.
Then there was the girl from the International House of Pancakes. She was an exact replica of my personality. I mean if you had met us both over some Internet chat room, you would swear we were the same person using multiple screen-names. Sounds sweet, huh? Have you ever considered marrying yourself? Have you ever thought aboutgrowing old together, just you and yourself? We both found that the whole idea of finding that "perfect person" was to find someone different from yourself to fulfill the empty spots within you.
I searched every where. I left no rock unturned, no leaf moved aside, but to no avail. After much pain and heartache, I began to believe that the perfect girl just did not exist. Then one day,I found her.

Her name was Malia. She was from Hawaii, raised in Italy. She wore silk pajama pants to bed. She had written a novel. She loved the beach and hated cats, just like me. She had silky, dark and curly hair that swayed perfectly if the breeze was right. She had a caramel colored body, etched out of a block of pure perfection, and herface was that of an angel. From the very first time I saw her, I could not seem to take my eyes away from hers. She was like a siren, calling my name, beckoning me closer to her, even when she was asleep. The attraction was complete, with no faults, no annoyances. Every time she spoke she mesmerized me and every timeshe moved she amazed me. She was... well, perfect. Oh, and did I mention she played the cello?
We spent all the extra time we had together. We spent so much time together that we decided to move in together. We were paying rent on two places, but one of them was doing nothing but collecting dust. We would sit on the porch when it rained and hold each other. We would lay on the beach and soak up a sweet combination of sunrays andpina coladas. Life was good. No, life was perfect and I knew it just couldn't possibly get any better than it was right then and there.
Two years later, Malia left me for a career-opportunity at a really prominent university in Europe. There were no harsh words, no angry feelings, not even any sad good-byes. She was so perfect that if she wanted to leave, I wanted it for her. That is, until she was gone.
I cried for days, and began to drink for weeks after that. I felt as if my life was over, that the only reason that I had existed was gone, and every breath I took from that moment on was a futile attempt to hold on to something I later found I never had: The Perfect Love.
Malia was perfect. She was perfect in each and every single way, but I was not. Our love for each other was a deeply committed one, but it was far from perfect. I know that now, but if I could go back in time to tell myself that in an attempt to save myself from all of that pain and suffering, I fear I would not have listenedto myself.

I slept with many women, sometimes a different girl every week. I drank excessively and spent all of my money on temporary satisfaction. Anything to ease the pain. But the pain did not ease, it only grew stronger. It became a vicious circle of self-inflicted torture that eventually brought me to my knees and forced me to open my eyes to the real world. But not before it made me a bitter man. I was wiser, but to this day, the decisions made left a coldness in my eyes that made my heart appear as lead to anyone who dared look. I became a loner, staying home on the weekends, saving my money for a healthy but lonely retirement, having accepted my fate. I was to be alone for the rest of my life. Kathy with a K. Actually, her name is spelled Kathyrn. Quite peculiar, but I didn't think so until later. For the longest time, I never even knew her name. But she was a sight for sore and lonely eyes. I saw her at work. I was her boss (actually, I was her boss' boss) and did not want to risk the chance of even speaking to her. She was justtoo beautiful, and I had become a beast with a past too horrible to mention. I would just watch her as she passed my office every day. She didn't walk, she frolicked, and I would sneak out for a break whenever she did just to watch that frolicking. She smiled every time someone spoke to her, a smile like the early morning sun, and her eyes were so dark that you couldn't see her pupils, only the glimmering from the light that made her eyes look like two bright stars. I was under her spell and I didn't even know her name. One day, watching her outside, I convinced myself to ask around about her. Find out her name and maybe even find out if she was seeingsomeone. Just as I had decided that she spoke to me.

Kathy with a K. She ended up asking me out, you know. I told her I couldn't that night because I had to work late. Actually, I was too scared. I called her and asked her if she wanted to go to Starbucks after work the next day and she agreed. It turned out to be the most romantic night of both of our lives. We were both still pretty new in town and didn't really know our way around. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going to take her next so I winged it the whole way. Like I said, it turned out to be the most romantic night of both of our lives. It was perfect. She was not perfect, but neither was I. We both carried a truckload of emotional baggage and we both had a mountain of flaws. But it was perfect. She would always forget to plug in her cell phone at night, but I would always remind her. I couldn't do laundry worth a flip, but she showed me how. She could never get to work on time,and she hated to drive, but we both had to be at work on time so I drove us both there. Whenever she was slacking I was always right over her shoulder, and when I would lose track of what I was trying to do, she would help to keep me focused. We complemented each other in every single way. Neither of us was perfect, butwe were perfect for each other.

When you're out there looking for that perfect person keep these things in mind. People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity come different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you're thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. Even Malia was not perfect because the perfect girl in my dreams was supposed to stay with me.

There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other

Well be pleased world
If this is what you wanted
This young girl is everything that you made
What will she say
Aren't I lovely
And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me causeI am desperately searching for something real

Hassle ka!

Why is that we always remember when (a) love (affair) ends but seldom remember when it begins....

Saddest Poem

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.
-- Pablo Neruda

...my dearest lolo tatay...he celebrated his 94th birthday last monday...one of the 2 men in my life that I'd drop everything in an instant for...give a limb for...even die for....


Kirkie ;P happy boit-day! for simply being there...

Miranda: He was funny. And cute.
Carrie: Yeah, and in town for a week! What's the point?
Samantha: That IS the point! It's the best possible scenario, because you know he's leaving.
Carrie: But it's like whatever happens, there's an expiration date. It's expiration dating.

Here is Gone
(GooGoo Dolls)

You and I got something
But it's all then it's nothing to me
I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions to me
And we wake up in the breakdown
In the things we never thought we could be
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We've got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution
To this sound of dispollution in me yah
And I was not the answer so forget you if ever thought it was me
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We've got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don't need a fall out
Of all the past that's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
I know it's out there I know it's out there I can fear you falling
I know it's out there I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it's out there I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone

"You're a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit." (Maggie Carpenter, RunAway Bride)

What's a meantime girl?

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's christmas party, or to go dancing with on a saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "the one". You know, the one you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. Shes too laid back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable -- she does not make you feel nervous or excited, the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you dont have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get the intimacy that you need. And you know you dont have to explain yourself or the situation, and that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool... why can't all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard - to - get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little too over weight, or has big birthmark on her forhead, or works at taco bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux. She does not captivate you with her beauty, or open door with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She does not want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too, we all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because, because she's had a front row seat to The Mess That is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing,
absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Anyway, yeah. I'm a meantime girl. Been one more times that one care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a meantime girl, that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry too... And someday we won't be around...

I asked you before if I was and you responded: "of course not. baka its the other way around." So now...what was I to you then?

Manang Rose, the sunflower eating fortune teller, foretold my future via the usual Tarot cards, Palmistry and the Crystal ball all for 100 pesos! She can be found just outside the Quiapo church around 3am.

*ym conversation couple of months back(September)...this ended my insanity stage*

marc: o ikaw, balita.
hundun: eto still the same
hundun: pathetic pa din
marc: bakit naman, ayusin na nga natin 'to? o, what's the problem?
hundun: parang kang daddy
hundun: yes itay
hundun: e kse
hundun: im naiinis na
hundun: why im still affected
marc: at bakit naman....
hundun: i dunno
hundun: basta i still am
hundun: im naiinis na
marc: kailangan mo kasi,at ito ang sabi ni oprah,kailangan mo ng closure"
hundun: i dont wanna be affected pero i am
marc: is it pride?
hundun: oo nga pero where will i get my closure?
hundun: pride??
marc: na-hurt yung pride mo na ginawa yan sa iyo.
marc: so?
hundun: maybe it is
hundun: wouldnt you be?
hundun: what he did was so masakit e
marc: i think that if you want to move on, you've gotta face the real reasons why you can't seem to move on pa rin.
hundun: its bec i still love him
marc: i know, i would be hurt too.
marc: but yun nga, you have to examine it yourself and question yourself why is your pride hurt, and should it really be a question of pride at all?
marc: isa pa yon, don't love him na dude, you're wasting your time, energy, emotions on a loser!
hundun: i've been telling myself that but its not that easy naman to forget e
marc: o sige lets think about it, do you want him back? do you want him to choose you over her?
hundun: i want him back yes
hundun: but its not gonna be that easy
marc: what?
marc: why do you want him back?
hundun : bec i still love him
hundun : and i think its also bec...
hundun : i mean
marc: why do you still love someone who did that to you?
hundun : yung feeling na in the end he went back to me
hundun: i dunno nga e..i know i should be mad and all and i focused on that after i finally was able to open that emotion
marc: are you still looking for the fairytale ending? na he'll realise his big mistake, come to his senses, drop her and beg you back on his hands and knees?
hundun: i guess so
hundun: ***bonks head***
marc: anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering - yoda.
marc: dude, you have to realistic.
marc: i'm sorry to say and it may be hard for you to hear, but i don't think that fairytale ending is going to happen.
marc: that's what you have to let go dude, not him, but that idea of that fairytale ending.
marc: that's the idea you have to let go of, cuz it's still giving you hope that what you once had might come back, that things might return to the way they were.
marc: i don;t think it's realistic to expect that.
marc: and if you really believe it, then how long are you willing to wait?
marc: how long are you willing to gamble that he's going to go back to you?
marc: and another thing, you may think you know him, but he's a different person now. he's not the same person a year ago, two years ago. things change, people change. you have to change too.
marc: you can't get stuck thinking that you know yourself completely, no ones themselves completely. impossible.
marc: no one knows themsleves completely.
marc: up until the day they die, people ae still discovering things about themselves they never knew. and that's why things change.
marc: but that's growth. it's just the process of changing that's difficult. but it has to happen. marc: right now, you're suffering but you're not growing. mali yon. ok lang na mag suffer, that's part of life, but dapat may growth din.
marc: kung walang growth, if you're not moving forward or moving somewhere, your suffering is for nothing.
marc: yan ang sayang, yan ang waste.
marc: astig ko noh? i'm like a hallmark card on steriods!
marc: o what?
hundun: i wanna move nman e. yes i still love him in a way but im opening my doors to other possibilities. other people. kse i dont wanna get stuck being like this forever. at night i pray na for every tear na i cry it washes all my bitterness. i pray na every passing day i love him less and less
hundun: i still have that stupid fairytale stuff in my head
hundun: but i also think about things na why its better this way
marc: then ask yourself why do you still have that in your head? why are you still holding onto that even though you know what you know.
hundun: like: we have diff tastes...he has a different wave length..etc etc...
hundun: i dunno why.....
marc: brb
hundun: me din
hundun: ill buy food lang
hundun: im back
marc: im back
marc: basta ask yourself those questions
marc: you have to know for yourself why
marc: you don't have to tell anyone naman eh. just be honest with yourself.
marc: once you know why you are still holding onto those beliefs, you'll begin to understand yourself better. that helps in becoming stronger and growing out of this phas in your life.
marc: you as you are now, have to change, to get past this.
hundun: ive thought about that....
marc: read my blog nalang para matawa ka
hundun: i did na
hundun: funny nga e
hundun: beeeepppp!!!!!!!
marc: no i have a new entry, now lang.
hundun : a ok
hundun : what about?
marc: my weekend lang, pero galing lang talaga ako magwrite. even the most mundane things become interesting and entertaining.
marc: ya nga pala, i haven't gotten you stoned yet. this week you want?
marc: brb
hundun: i like the beep beep story better
hundun: brb
hundun: im back
marc: back
marc: ya i thought you would.
hundun : im sooooo tamad na
marc: you tell me nalang if you wanna smoke up, no pressure. baka ma-addict k apa.
hundun : teka you're making me BI
hundun: is that gonna fry my brain?
marc: no it won't. yes, it will, but it's just the same as drinking beer and making lasing.
hundun: kaya nga i dont drink e

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing" (Anais Nin)

All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where I've been.

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin' through Kashmir.

Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear

A year ago..this is what I wrote:

what I need right now are your prayers. do not ask why but i need them. Agnostic, unbelieving me needs all the prayers right now.

Lord, help me walk another mile, just one more mile.
I'm tired of walkin' all alone.
Lord, help me smile another smile, just one more smile.
I know I just can't make it on my own. I never thought I needed help before.
I thought that I could do things by myself. Now I know I just can't take it anymore.
With a humble heart, on bended knee. I'm beggin' you, please, for help.
~Johnny Cash

A year after...I still need your help... I still am asking for your prayers...but I am not anymore Agnostic or an unbeliever...my faith is stronger...stronger than it has ever been...a year after it still feels that the weight of world is on my shoulders and its sheer weight is biting through my weary shoulder just like that of Hipparchus' Atlas...i still feel that my happy-face-everything-is-ok mask still on... i still feel that I have to live this lie so that people won't see how sad I am...as Len said, I'm funny sad person..so everyday I play the part of the happy girl while inside the pain is gobbling me up....clickity click! Say cheese! and another day starts...



Does it ever get easy?" Buffy once asked Giles, the Watcher who was assigned to mentor and train her.

"You mean life?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. Does it get easy?"

"What do you want me to say?"

Buffy looked up at him, half-formed tears in her eyes. "Lie to me."

Giles considered for a moment. "Yes, it's terribly simple."

He told Buffy. "The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day.
No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."

"Liar."

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

"No Man is worth a woman's tears. The only one who's worth her tears is the one who knows he could but would never, ever make her cry."

Whether you believe in the cases or not, that is up to you.


CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her office, she noticed on her computer she had some e-mail's. She checked it, the usual stuff from her friends, but then she saw one that she had never gotten before. It was this poem. She simply deleted it without even reading all of it. BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she received a phone call from the police. It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive.

CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson. She received this poem and being the believer that she was, she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out the full 10 that you must. Three days later, Katie went to a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car to go home, she was killed on the spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.

CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this poem out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her
passionate crush on him that she had had on him for 2 years. Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and Richard are still married with three children, happy as ever!

This is the poem:

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,

As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,

"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."

And that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

"Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last... Tomorrow is Not Promised."

From me...I'm not saying that you should send this entry to your friends...its the essence of the entry...what it means...Don't bank on tomorrow because tomorrow might never come...Live today...don't fill your life with what if's, could've been's and what might have been's...

...i saw a good friend walk down the aisle with tears in her eyes and happiness spewing from her lips...



Someday when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.
Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so warm
And your cheek so soft
There is nothing for me to love you
And the way you look tonight
With each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose touches my foolish heart
Lovely, never ever change
Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight...



...Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin'....


"You're probably drumming your fingernails on the white linen tablecloth the way you do when you're really feeling down. Perhaps even looking at those nails thinking, "God, I should have stopped in all my evil plotting to have that manicure.""


No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.

My "old" friends...in the end, when all our dreams have passed...when all the love songs has been sung...when the bell has tolled for us...when all our tears has turned to rust...our laughter would still reverberate...our Jon jokes would still be corny...our kwentos would still be replayed.....maybe we'd all end up together...and we'd still dance just like how we danced tonight...

"Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!"

"What holds you back is the fact that you keep the negativity of the past alive in your mind. When you focus on the past disappointments, limitations and shortcomings it brings them into the present; focus instead on the possibilities of the future."

Been sick since January 1...when I got to the office that day someone even commented na I so look like 2004..right on dude! Since that day, my body rejects any solid food...can't sleep properly..I easily tire...was even s'posed to have my self checked sa hospital but stubborn me decided against it. no way am i gonna be cooped up for days in the hospital! but i'm better now..ate my first solid food w/o throwing it up last wednesday. Thanks to those people who asked, told me to go home and even gave me sabaw to make sure that I eat ***heart***

salamat salamat :)

thursday was loner's day for me...a good book and music are my bestest buddies...thanks to Lord Jeffrey Archer , LIVE and Kitchiefor accompanying me.

During my loner's walk, i discovered a chapel in the monstrous mall and found myself praying for friends who i knew needed all the help that they can get from the big guy above...as for me...i prayed...for peace of mind..for calmness in my heart...for happiness...for love above all else....as Derrick said, a panacea...send me mine Lord...send me mine soon...the air is already thinning for me...i can hardly breathe...the water is up to my ears and i am drowning...drowning...slowly..painfully drowning...in my own tears...

I have never taken Life
Yet I have often paid the price
And you, you are a victim of this age
And the guilt that hangs around your neck
Has got me locked up in a cage

You've got to learn to live until no end
But first you must learn to swim
All over again
Because...

Pain lies on the riverside
And Pain will never say goodbye
Pain Lies on the Riverside
So put you feet in the water
Put your head in the water
Put your soul in the water
And join me for a swim tonight

I have forever, always tried
To stay clean and constantly baptized
I am aware that the river's banks are dry
And to wait for a flood
Is to wait for life

I've got to learn to live until no end
But first I must learn to swim all
Over again,
Because...

Pain lies on the Riverside.

CONFUSION

"Boys frustrate me. I hate all their indirect messages, I hate game playing. Do you like me or don't you? Just tell me so I can get over you." - Kirsten Dunst

I suddenly realized that I haven't really been posting things that happened to me but vague entries that only people who I see and talk to every day would be able to understand or "get"....so to those who I forgot...my sincere apologies...

as i said 2004 didn't end on a high note for me...why...sorry this is something that I'd rather not talk about now...but just a gist...just to whet you imagination...let's just say that just when I thought it's ok for me to let down my well built defenses...that just when I thought it's ok to take the risk...just when I thought it's ok to trust someone...i was wrong...dead wrong...I took a great risk for NOTHING. My apologies..today is not the right time to blog about this..not when my heart is still hurting...I'll keep quiet muna...because that is just how I am...the more hurt I am the quieter I become...

"If little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me... do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you." -Pablo Neruda



December 31st 11:50pm..new year's eve in the office...my fourth...we rushed down to the street to join the countdown...5..4..3..2..1...its 2005!

Me : aba! wla pang nagttext sa akin a! Kung sino unang mag ttext sa akin sya na ang mamahalin ko pang habang buhay

***beep beep***
Me : Wylmer! Di ka kasali..pang end of the world-pag bingi at bulag na tayo-pang last resort groom kita..hindi ka kasali!!!!!!
Wyl: ***guffaws***

***beep beep***

Me : Hala! (shows text to Wylmer...looks at the texter...)
Me : (To myself) No comment!


nagrereturn of the comeback ka ba?

....From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend; the legend of Voltron, Defender of the Universe, a mighty robot, loved by good, feared by evil. As Voltron's legend grew, peace settled across the galaxy. On Planet Earth, a Galaxy Alliance was formed. Together with the good planets of the solar system, they maintained peace throughout the universe, until a new horrible menace threatened the galaxy. Voltron was needed once more. This is the story of the super force of space explorers, specially trained and sent by the Alliance to bring back Voltron, Defender of the Universe!....

Maria Agatha Belinda Bettina Eugenie' Victoria...Belinda...Maribel...Belle (only if we're close please!)...a.k.a HÜndÜn

MARIA
Usage: Italian, Portuguese, German, Scandinavian, Dutch, Greek, Polish, Czech, Romanian, English, Finnish, Icelandic
Pronounced: mah-REE-ah
Latinate form of MARY. This was the name of several queens of Portugal. It was also borne by the 18th-century Habsburg queen Maria Theresa, whose inheritance of the domains of her father, the Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI, began the War of the Austrian Succession.

Although the name Maria creates the urge to work in harmony with others, we point out that it causes a superior, interfering expression. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, worry and mental tension. Your name of Maria gives you the desire to understand and to help others but, at the same time you can become too involved in their problems and, as a result, worry too much. You desire a home and family of your own and have the ability to create understanding and harmony in family association as you are pliable, forgiving, and tactful. You love children and would not hesitate to care for any children who might need you. Whenever possible, you avoid argument and turmoil because you prefer not to face an issue if it means hurting anyone's feelings

BELINDA
Usage: English
Pronounced: be-LIN-da
The meaning of this name is not known for certain. The first element could be related Italian bella "beautiful". The second element could be related to Germanic lind "serpent, dragon" or linde "soft, tender".

Although the name Belinda creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and worry or mental tension. As Belinda you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others. You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way. This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding.

extras:

Belinda is a moon of Uranus. It is named after the heroine of Alexander Pope's The Rape of the Lock. Other than its size and orbit, virtually nothing is known about it.

Belinda is the name of a fictional character in Alexander Pope's The Rape of the Lock.

Belinda is a novel written by Anne Rice under the pseudonym "Anne Rampling

"Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself."

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

We all have a story to tell. We often judge our own stories as being good or bad, right or wrong. The truth is, each and every one of them not only holds meaning for us but for those around us as well. Our entries...our stories...our moments...our thoughts...our pain and our joys these are the things that happens in our lives that we want to share with other people who, may or may not care. Our stories try to reach out to other people and that in some way says...here I am! Make me a part of your life as I want you to be a part of mine....yes, we hope, too, that amongst the so many bloggers, web surfers and whoever there may be one or two who will perchance drop by our little world (read: blog) WILL care and will give a damn what happens to us...so another year has begun...let us read and be merry...let's start our life's story...be part of my trials and tribulations..my joys and my pains...my living and my dying in almost every breath that I take...here is my life...my story






"Suscipe, Domine, universam meam libertatem. Accipe memoriam, intellectum atque voluntatem omnem. Quidquid habeo vel possideo mihi largitus es; id tibi totum restituo, ac tuae prorsus voluntati trado gubernandum. Amorem tui solum cum
gratia tua mihi dones, et dives sum satis, nec aliud quidquam ultra posco. Amen

"The world has turned and left me here, just where i was before you appeared" (Weezer)

the last entry for 2004...

5 deaths...

1 love lost...

2 what might have beens

so many broken promises

countless tears

innumerable hurt

infinite pain

so many pent up prayers and wishes all sent to the skies and stars above....all remain unanswered...

has God forgotten my address?

when will all the hurt the pain and the tears stop...

annus horribilis as I once described this year...i'm kinda hoping 2005 will be better for me...i almost thought that since this year started on a low note for me that sana it'll end on a high note...and for awhile I almost did think that it was gonna be a happy ending for me for 2004...but, as usual, reality continues to destroy my life...it has been a life on a tight rope...it has been a year that seemed like I was perpetually living in the out house that when I almost thought that I could get out for some whiff of fresh air someone just had to say CUT! Bummer.

"I know I'm not perfect, but I can smile. And I hope that you see this heart behind
my tired eyes." (Dido)


The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight!!

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

"Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it." (Ally McBeal)

things that i have to do today:

1. Check my mail and ym messages
2. Fix my room
3. Pay Globe
4. Find a dress for Mitch's Wedding and Dianne's debut
5. Buy a planner
6. Check out Powerbooks' sale
7. List down all DVDs



Something that I read in Inquirer:

Don't dwell on that empty space
By Thelma Sioson San Juan


THIS is one Christmas where we must exert extra effort to find the joy of the season simply because death came one after the other. Never has the yearend seen the front and opinion pages mourning the loss of lives day after day, muting the sound of holiday celebration.

You're surrounded by the news of death near and far, and even of impending loss since you know of at least one relatively young person battling cancer in what must have seemed like an epidemic-no matter how ridiculous a cancer epidemic may sound.

It's a threatening reminder even to the hip and young. What's up with the planets?

Nothing perhaps, it's just the usual cycle. Yet you must steel your heart and keep your heart still so that you catch whatever it is life is trying to tell you. How do you cope with the loss, and how do you listen to its message?

By being quiet and attentive. It is ironic that the drift of the season is surviving the loss. The holiday mood is not euphoric, it is thoughtful and sober.

So how do you cope? No choice but to roll with the punches, so you can muster enough strength to get back on your feet and walk on. In fact, there is no making up for a loss and it is foolhardy to think that an experience could be duplicated or a loved one replaced.

Our friend Alya Honasan even said as much of a dog when her Muffin (her name) died a few weeks ago. Accept and absorb the hurt and wear out the pain. After all, the heart -- along with the rest of the body -- gets fatigued from hurting.

Then -- seize a new moment and live it. The cliché is true, we're just passing by, experiencing moments and people along the way, but never really owning them indefinitely. We can't even retrace our step-that happens only in the mind. There's only the forward motion where time is concerned.

You can't go back, but you can move on. Muster the faith to see only the fullness of the moment, not its emptiness. Don't dwell on that empty space.

Christmas, therefore, is seizing the moment and living it as if it were a blessing, because it is. Let your every moment be an answered prayer. Merry Christmas!

"...You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by....

And when two lovers woo,
They still say, "I love you"
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings....."