went to atc. lunch at friday's w ace and alessandro. because the table was unstable it made my drink spill..on me! punyeta. transferred to another table. when my waiter placed the food (na may sauce!) my quick hands grabbed the sauce..kasi naman why put it down near the kid? after lunch, we strolled around the mall...it was small..it was hot..the elevator was sira and they didn't have ramps for the strollers..ATC is super not child friendly! goodbye alabang!

saw the pacquiao fight with solis.....ho-hum....

alessandro is sick...4 teeth!

don't

you

think

that

he's

just

soooooo

cute?

it's been a habit to go to the mall or just anywhere during my restdays. i simply cannot stay put.

we wanted to spend early saturday morning at the park. so we headed off to salcedo park where there used be a saturday market but alas..all we saw were just kids playing in the park with their yayas in tow. not to be unperturbed we went to the legaspi ..~err park(forgot the name na..or i simply don't know) but again, there was none. #*%&$*$ where did they go!?! we just went to Market! Market! since manang (my son's yaya) would be going there to meet with her sons. We ate breakfast (Ace got a catfish that was thiiiisss big!) and browsed around the shops and bought some fruits. Before going home, we passed by Bonifacio High Street to bought doughnuts in Krispy Kreme. We almost got lost! I'm good with directions but for some reason never ko tlaga ma-memorize ang streets ng The Fort. Just so you know, they have these new doughnuts called Easter doughnuts (wlang holes). I didn't get tp try them though since they give you free glazed doughnuts even before you order. Ace got a chocolate flavored one, while I settled for the 3 freebies (one for each of us-Ace, Alessandro and me) and bought a dozen for my team.

Come sunday, Ace and Alessandro picked me up from work and we all went to the Mall of Asia. Ace wanted to eat in Terriyaki Boy but it being almost lunch time and a sunday at that...asa pa if we'd get to be seated agad..15 minutes is way too long a wait for me...since Ace didn't want to eat in Shakey's (wanted their chicken) we settled for Pollo Loco instead. After lunch, we didn't stay long anymore since there was already an influx of people...i really hate MOA during weekends..dami squatters! i love it there because they have a lot of elevators, its spacious for my baby's mala expedition na stroller and they have a changing area. With alessandro in tow, we alway take into consideration his needs. Thus we NEVER go to SM Megamall because its sooooooooooooooooooooooooo dirty! The air seems to permeate "DIRTYNESS". Their banyos are so dirty. Elevators are so far apart....it is simply not baby friendly!!!! sayang because its closer to our house and all the shops are there na...tsk tsk tsk....paging Henry Sy!

vacation nowadays simply does not entail finding the best swimsuit, finding my gear and booking the lowest priced-flight (thank you cebu pacific) ...my get away companions used to be my laway pillow, a good book and my ruggederized ipod, yosi and sunglasses and poof! i can hop onto the next available flight and leave all my worries behind...i miss those days when vacations did not mean bringing the whole house with you...

now its finding the most baby friendly resort, making sure that they have mineral water and aircon, thay they have mosquito nets (just in case) and an extra bed for the yaya...the low priced flight still applies since my 10month old's (oMG has it been thaat long!?!?) plane fare is still free hehehehe

"Is there anything, apart from a really good chocolate cream pie and receiving a large unexpected check in the mail, to beat finding yourself at large in a foreign city on a fair spring evening, loafing along unfamiliar streets in the long shadows of a lazy sunset, pausing to gaze in shop windows or at some church or lovely square or tranquil stretch of quayside, hesitating at street corners to decide whether that cheerful and homey restaurant you will remember fondly for years is likely to lie down this street or that one? I just love it. I could spend my life arriving each evening in a new city."

--Bill Bryson, Neither Here Nor There (1992)

don't you sometimes wish that you can, in a flick of a finger, go back to how it used to be? sometimes I do...

maybe i was never cut out for this...maybe i should've taken a different road...maybe's...

when I read or hear other people's negative comments about how the company is being run or even how I run things...all I see and hear are just complaints...complaints...complaints...haaayy....
I'm not the best person there is but hey!...i do my best...if it's not how you want things run...but until you get your own team...its difficult also when you know that people have preconceived hate feelings about you because no matter what you do you can never do enough...


its a 2 way mirror, my friends.

I've been swamped!

finally got my internet going at home...bad thing is my usb port is still busted...you can't have everything...grumble grumble

thinking back on how 2005 was...it's been quite a year, if i may say so...why...simply because I gave birth...yes, I did...my boy's already 7months last January 4th..so do the math...he's been doing quite well and he's tabachingching...blame it on his mom hehehehe but so what :P But his pediatrcian, the cool Dr. Butler, wants him to go on a diet...so he's down to 6 ounces for every feeding instead of his usual 8. a lot of people say that he looks a lot like me..(good good..) but I think he got more than just how I look..my boy has taken my mannerisms to..so yes...another brat in the making...just like me, he's masungit when he wakes up...takes a while for him to flash his cute smile in the morning...so like mommy! he also doesnt warm up to people agad..masungit and rarely does he smile for other people...so undoubtedly he is indeed my son...

i gained a lot of pounds too...i had to buy a new set of wardrobe (excuse to shop excuse to shop..) here's my transformation:

that's me back in 2004..so yes there was a time na i was payat...something weird with the pic though...but because of continued...

I am now ................................................for those who made fun of me.....i swear I will not make you pansin when I lose all of the taba :P and the TM formerly known as franchie (TMFKAF) will be at the very top of my list

career wise..hhmmm..it didn't look promising during the early part of the year but at the end...and because of that i've been busy the whole month of December...finally decided to move up after being in my comfort zone for almost 3 years..would've wanted to stay but ...there are things that we need to think of..like...like...extenuating circumstances...

speaking of...i dunno why there are times that just when you are feeling a need for an upper..fate just lands one on your lap...it can be thought of as an upper but on the other side it can also be thought of as a downer...haayy gulo..yes magulo...i can't blog about it...i can't and i won't...i will not allow myself to be the stuff that people will talk about over lunch or coffee or even inumans...no way...

"...in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend." (The Holiday)

we leave it at that

so for this year...my parting shot FOR you

this is your life.

It doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet

i need to find my running shoes first...

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be:

What doesn't change? Here, writer and mom Rebecca Woolf lists her most notable post-baby observations. Then scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
4. You respect your body ... finally.
5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
9. Your heart breaks much more easily.
10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
11. Every day is a surprise.
12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
14. You become a morning person.
15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.


1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." —
Ashley's mom

2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from
material wealth." — Anonymous

3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte

4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that
you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom

5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical
powers." — Roxanne

6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." —
Kellye

7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous

8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid
of are totally worth having." — Brenda

9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you
had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom

10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your
schedule." — Thomas' mom

11. "You give parents with a screaming child an
'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a
'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom

12. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a
dog." — Kara

13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it
means you'll be late." — Tracey

14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's
mom

15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." —
Dezarae's mom

I believe - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.



I believe that you can keep going, long after you can't.

I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.




Dear whatsit,

I was disappointed that I cannot not be part of your special day.

I'm sorry. I tried to fix my schedule but I really cannot make it

on that day.

I'm sorry, too, that time and life changes has somehow wedged a huge gap between us...I dunno what made that happen

I remember starting and ending my days with silly text messages from you..

I remember going out on gimiks and secret gimiks...

I remember silly conversation with no directions and no topic even!

I remember suprise dinners for someone's birthday...

I remember that you were the first one who texted me when I got my heart broken

But gone are those days...i dunno what the future holds for our friendship...or..whatever is left of it...but as you said, I hope that until our gray years that we would still be friends...maybe...maybe...

but I hear you got some spankin' new friends...that made me sad...it made me sad that they were now more a part of your life than me...

The Best Kind of Love


I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves
her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. "I am young again!" she shouts
exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of
almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down
hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows signs of long working hours and too
many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want
to ask for the check and head home.

When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, and communication.

Yet there's more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the
checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a
blast. We enjoy simply being together.

And there are surprises.

One time I came home to find a note on the front
door that led me to another note, then another,
until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the
door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my
cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift
package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the
mirror and little presents under his pillow.

There is understanding.

I understand why he must play basketball with the
guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must
get away from the house, the kids - and even him -
to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop
talking and laughing.

There is sharing.

Not only do we share household worries and
parental burdens - we also share ideas. Scott
came home from a convention last month and
presented me with a thick historical novel.
Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction,
he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my
heart when he explained it was because he wanted
to be able to exchange ideas about the book after
I'd read it.

There is forgiveness.

When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at
parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed
losing some of our savings in the stock market, I
gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It's only
money."

There is sensitivity.

Last week he walked through the door with that
look that tells me it's been a tough day. After
he spent some time with the kids, I asked him
what happened. He told me about a 60-year old
woman that had a stroke. He wept as he recalled
the woman's husband standing beside her bed,
caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this
husband of 40 years that his wife would probably
never recover? I shed a few tears myself.
Because of the medical crisis. Because there were
still people who have been married 40 years.
Because my husband is still moved and concerned
after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith.

Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her
fear that her husband is losing his courageous
battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch
with a friend who is struggling to reshape her
life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor
called to talk about the frightening effects of
Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's
personality. On Friday a childhood friend called
long-distance to tell me her father had died. I
hung up the phone and thought, This is too much
heartache for one week.

Through my tears, as I went out to run some
errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms
of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the
delighted laughter of my son and his friend as
they played. I caught sight of a wedding party
emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride,
dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to
her cheering friends. That night, I told my
husband about these events. We helped each other
acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys
counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us
going.

Finally, there is knowing.

I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of
the hamper every night; he'll be late to most
appointments and eat the last chocolate in the
box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my
head.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable.
No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar
hue. We don't feel particularly young: we've
experienced too much that has contributed to our
growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies,
and created our memories. I hope we've got what
it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had
Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert
Browning's line "Grow old along with me!"

We're following those instructions. "If anything
is real, the heart will make it plain."


There are some people who meet that somebody
that they can never stop loving, no matter how
hard
they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand
that,
or even believe it, but trust me, there are some
love
that don't go away. And maybe that makes them
crazy, but we should all be blessed to end up
with that somebody who has a little of that
insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody
who cherishes you forever.

Hope you find this kind of love in your life.

'The world isn't fair, Calvin.' 'I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?'

i've never been demoralized..but I am..big time...

From the day I went back to work, I've settled to breastfeeding my son and pumping for breast milk before and after shift but lately I noticed that my milk supply has lessened. I found out that not breastfeeding continously causes the supply of milk to decrease thus I decided to bring my handy breast pump to work. My first day was a disappointment. Barely 2 ounces of milk was expressed. My second day was better with 4 ounces. Hopefully, it'll progress in a matter of days. Hopefully, too, management heeds our request to have a mother's lounge. It's kinda disconcerting to pump in the disabled bathroom :(

it' s been 2 weeks since I went back to work and sadly, it seems that I've lost it. I've lost the drive to work and to excel. I've lost the wanting to win the rat race. I've simply settled to wanting to be an at-home-mother. Maybe I'm just missing my baby..maybe I just got used to staying at home...maybe...beats me on why I'm feeling like this...maybe I'll find my rhythm in next few weeks..maybe....just maybe

When we are no longer able to change a situation,

we are challenged to change ourselves.

~Victor Frankl

Maybe little boy's starting to look and act like me...wweee! notice the kunot na noo..hehehe... he also got my habit of placing his hands anywhere near his head when asleep

Mom! don't show them my putotoy! grumble grumble

where do you hang on to if you're drowning in the middle of the sea?

50 thousand tears I've cried

Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me(I’m going under)

Don't want your hand this time

I'll save myself

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

Segue:

why o why?


Have you seen the Adidas commercial? The Impossible 11? Superb.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Ang laging tanong sa akin lately is kung "kumusta ang/si mommy". Ang lagi ko naman sagot is ok lang pero iniisip ko tuloy pag tinatanong ba ako ng "kumusta ang/si mommy" ang ibig sabihin ba nila ay kumusta ako mismo or kumusta ang pagiging ina? Wla naman akong iniisip na masama sa tanong na yon ang sa akin lang is napapaisip lang ako...so kumusta nga ba si mommy?

Kung ako mismo..mabuti naman ako. buhay pa pagkatapos ng 3 araw na labor. Pina admit ako sa hospital nung june 2, friday, kse 40 weeks anf 1 day na ko nun. di pa nanganganak. ni 1 cm wla pa at mababa na ang amniotic fluid ko (read: tubig sa bahay bata). so nung june 2 inumpisahan ang pag induce sa akin. Nang pinasok ako sa DR nung tanghali ng June 2, napakaraming babaeng buntis sa DR. Ni check ang vital signs at nilinis ang tyan. Pinasok sa LR 2. Isa itong kwarto na mala aquarium dahil glass ang asa isang gilid nito. 12 hours akong asa LR 2 sa aking unang araw. Ako lang mag isa. naka dextrose at wlang makausap o ni mabasa. Ang tanging pampalipas oras ay ang pagbasa ng numero sa fetal heart rate machine, ang pagbasa ng nakalagay sa dextrose na baliktad at ang pag tingin sa maliit na bintana sa may taas ng aking ulo--ang nakikita ko nga lang sa bintana nito ay ang parking lot ng hospital...so lahat ng labas pasok sa parking lot nakikita ko. Sayang at wla akong nakitang nagpatayan o nag sex man lang sa loob ng sasakyan para man lang masiyahan ako ng konti. So ayun, 12 hours akong mag isa. 12 hours din akong wlang kinakain o iniinom. leche. gutom na kme ng anak ko. nang matapos ang first level ng pag induce or induction, sa awa ng dyos 1 cm pa din ako. ayaw lumabas ng bagets. napansin ko na lahat ng kasabayan ko na pumasok sa DR nung tanghali ng friday e wla na sa DR. champion. pinagpahinga ako sa kwarto ko na asa labas ng DR (hay salamat!) pero bawal pa din daw ako kumain. Pero wag ka, may panakaw na subo ako ng yang chow rice ng chowking. Aba! ikaw ba naman ang di pakainin no. Binalik ako ng umaga ng June 3 sa DR. eto nanaman kami~another 12 hours . Nung hapon ni biopsy ang tyan ko. Aba tumaas daw ang amniotic fluid ko. hindi sya abot ng 7 which is the normal and safe # pero tumaas ng 6 mula sa dating 5.5. Sbe ng OB pwede daw ako umuwi. Sa loob loob ko, LECHE! pagkatapos nyo kong gutumin ng 12 hours e biglang papauwiin nyo ko! Buti nalang somekinda matalino si ob at sinabe na since asa hospital nalang din ako e mag all the way na kme. ehem. sa pag induce po. so sya sige manganak na kung manganak para one time big time. Humingi muna ako ng time out. feeling ko para akong ieechagaray. binigyan ako ng reprieve ng 2 hours bago umpisahan ang 3rd and last attempt of induction. after 2 hours binalik na ulet ako~this time 8 hours nalang daw DAPATT. so buong gabi ng sabado go nanaman kme. masakit po ang pag induce. baka akalain nyo na dahil naka 3 induction ako na ganun ganun lang yun. masakit po sya at nakaka lungkot dahil mag isa lang kayo at wlang kausap at wla pang makain. Nung mga 3am, 1 cm pa din ako. Wla na atang pag asa na lumuwag pa ang aking sipit sipitan. Nung mga 5am, sa sobrang inis ko, nag prisinta ako sa ob resident if pwede ako maglakad lakad ng onti. kaya ayun namasyal ako hila hila ang aking dextrose sa loob ng delivery room na may patingin tingin sa pinto ng DR na may malaking window nangangarap na may makikitang kakilala. Ang pinto na ito ay malayo kung asa ako nun so halos di mo na makikilala ang taong asa kabila ng pinto na to. Mga 7am tiningnan ulet ako at sinabi na sa wakas ng 3cm na ko. Wow! akala mo ang laki pero hello sa tagal na wlang nangyayari e ang pag 3cm ko ay welcome change. Binutas na ang water bag ko para ma force na lumabas si bagets at dun na nag suklob ang langit at lupa. kung nasasaktan ka sa dysmenorrhea..goodluck pag naglalabor ka. may nag taray pa sa akin na ob resident kse humihingi ako ng painkiller. di daw pwede kse sa monitor bumababa na ang heart rate ni baby. gusto ko sana sigawan. ikaw ang mag labor at mag tiis sa sakit. kaso sa sobrang sakit di na ko nakapag react. iyak, hawak sa kama at ang pag tawag sa lahat ng santo ang inatupag ko nalang nun. sa oras na yun ready na din ako mag give up. ikaw ba naman ang mag labor ng 3 araw at di kumain ng ganun katagal ewan ko nalang kung may lakas ka pang umire. sa wakas nag desisyon na din ang doctor na i-CS na daw ako. bumababa na ang heart rate ni bagets at ayaw na nila na pati ako e bumaba na din ang vitals. Pinasok ako sa operating room at hiniga sa operating table (langya mas nakakatakot pala dun. sino ba ang interior designer ng kwarto na yun!?!?!?! tama ba naman na naka display yung mga sinaunang gamit sa pagpapanganak) kaso nilabas ulet kse ang asawa ko daw gusto ako kausapin. haaaayyy masakit na po! Pagbalik ko sa operating room na notice ko ang hinihigaan ko...tama ba naman na ang operating table e gawa sa leather na itim at hugis pa cross?! wuzdameaning ito! so sa madali't salita nanganak na ko. so sa tanong na kumusta ako mismo...ok ako. buhay pa sa awa ng Dyos. salamat sa pagtanong.

Pero kung ang tanong ay kung kumusta ang pagiging ina ... masaya..masarap...nakakapagod...fulfilling...mahirap i explain basta masaya...pag sinabi ko na masaya meron pa bang explanation yun? hindi maiintindihan ng isang tao ang pakiramdam unless isa syang ina or isang ama na naghirap sa anak...para ka na din sigurong nanalo sa lotto...jackpot. one time bigtime ang feeling....ngayon kung ngingiti lang ang anak ko para sa akin solb na ang lahat....

na miss kita

a rollercoaster ride that's how I can describe my pregnancy... from "still-not-pregnant" announcements to pregnancy complications to buy me this kind of food at this restaurant or else to non fetal movement scare (turns our antukin lang pala like his dad) to a 3 -day labor (yes, 3) to fetal heart rate decline to finally...this

Meet my "bunso"

Alessandro Raphael Antonio Agnello Perez-Aniciete

a.k.a kurdapyo (wla pang nick e)

For something I've always wanted and for something I've always dreamt of..there were times that I almost gave up...but of course I didn't. It was a difficult pregnancy but at the end it was all worth it...when you see that little bundle sleeping in your arms despite the sleepless nights..the dozing off while you're breastfeeding...in the end it was all worth it..would I go through it again...ahem..that's why I call my only son bunso

ditdiritditditdit (ala am radio)

nanganak na po ako. SA WAKAS. updates soon

ditdiritditditdit (ala am radio)

sa lahat ng nagtatanong at naghahanap sa akin...hindi pa po ako nanganganak...hindi pa type ng bagets na lumabas sa aking tyan na akala nya ata e kasing laki ng soccer field sa kakasipa at kakagalaw nya

B O R E D